Page 12 of Troy

“Hell no, Troy, I’m still as confused as fuck. Just get back here, okay?”

“I’m on it.” I end the call to concentrate on the road.

A mere ten minutes later I’m on the drive and then parked up. Jumping out, I slam the door hard and take the steps to the kitchen in one jump. Then I’m in the house.

My thoughts consume me until a stampede greets me: Boss arrives ahead of his master, wagging his tail furiously.

“Hey there, big guy. Where’s your man?” I ask as I scratch his ears, “You want outside?” I move towards the large French doors and open them, letting the dog scrabble about outside. Turning back, I see Raff stalking toward me, his eyes flare but then he ducks his head, a blush creeping up his neck. Shit! He regrets last night. Fuck! What do I do now?

“Coffee, Raff?” I stroll to the coffee pot, waiting for his answer. Pivoting, I find him staring at me almost longingly. I turn away again before I drag him up against me, my dick already aches. Reaching up to the hooks holding the mugs, I take one down for him and risk a quick glance in his direction and catch him palming his crotch. Looks like someone else is having dick problems, too. Waving the mug catches his attention and he nods with a shy smile.

“Don’t give me that shit, Troy, I’m still pissed at you.” His voice is still low but it doesn’t have the sexy rasp it had last night.

“So, a ‘no’ to the coffee then?” I raise one eyebrow as he shakes his head in exasperation. His response makes me smirk at him and I hand him the mug. Pointing to the sugar on the side, I offer, “there’s creamer in the fridge if you want it and some flavored shit, too, that Nico sometimes has, caramel or hazelnut or shit!” I fake a shudder which, at last, has him smiling properly at me.

“Yeah, I’m a black coffee man, no crap. I don’t even have sugar.” He replies.

“Sweet enough already?” I quip.

“Yeah, something like that.” He laughs again, then cuts it short. Shit, this is where he tells me it was a mistake. “Troy…”

“Raff…” We speak at the same time but clam up together, too.

“You go first, Raff, please.” My heart beats like a jackhammer, dreading what he might say.

Letting out a huge puff of air, Raff looks at me and his eyes soften as he smiles: all good, so far. “I can’t believe I’m going to say this, Troy; I like you, but I don’t know you. I want to get to know you. I think, if we rush this, we could end up wrecking something really good.” He sighs again, “I said last night I’ve just come out of a relationship and I’m worried you could think I’m using you as a rebound fuck. I want to spend time with you, shit loads of time, I want to kiss you again and again.” Raff’s little chuckle sends shivers over my body. “But I don’t want fuck this up. If there is anything here to make a mess of. You may have been going to tell me you’re not interested, I hope not. When you weren’t here this morning, I thought I’d got my answer.”

I’m grinning hard by the time he lifts his head up after dropping it in embarrassment. He sees it and tentatively returns the gesture.

“Come here, Raff.” I reach out to grab his hand and haul him closer. “I was going to say exactly the same thing. I have never been prepared to try something as much as I want to try, to see what we have going on here. I’ve just been dumped by a wonderful man because I wasn’t able to commit to him; I never felt the same way he did.” I see Raff frown, trying to work out how this affects him. “The reason I’m saying this is, because, as soon as I saw you, I knew I wanted more. Don’t panic, I’m not ready to rush either. I just wanted you to know that, for the first time in three years, I’m ready to have more. And that’s because it’s you, Raff McMahon.”

I take a small step closer and look straight into his grass green eyes, “as for the kissing, I’m well up for that. As for the rest, I’m sure we’ll get there. But it’s the journey I want, as well as the destination.” I brush my lips over his once, twice before pressing harder, pulling away before it turns into a make-out session. “So, are we good?”

“Fuck, Troy; yes, we are good.” Raff focusses on my hand, which has migrated to his hip, and chuckles. “You’re very handsy, aren’t you.” A statement, not a question, but he doesn’t step out of my grasp.

“Is it something that bothers you?” I unhook my thumb from his belt loop and lift my hand but Raff catches hold of it and shakes his head.

“No, it doesn’t bother me. Well, not in a bad way.” I watch as he squirms, trying to rearrange his shorts, and I burst out laughing.

“You have the same effect on me, Raff. But it does raise another question: are you wanting to keep our, what is this? A friendship? Are we dating? Shit, I don’t know what the hell to call it, a secret?” I don’t like secrets anymore; I knew why Franco kept our lives strictly private but this time around I’m not hiding in the shadows.

“I don’t think so, I think it will be obvious, especially to your family. Nico and Ryan are your family, aren’t they?”

“Yeah, I’ve known Nico since I was eighteen. Ryan has only been here about a year but they are childhood sweethearts who lost each other for too many years. He has seamlessly fitted inside my heart. He is a good man, one of the best you’ll ever meet.”

“I could tell last night how in tune you all are with each other.” Raff coughs and then mutters, “so, never anything between your and Nico?”

I burst out laughing and end up holding my sides I’m howling that hard. “Oh, God no! Don’t even think about it! Ew, he’s like my brother!” I shake my head to clear the image.

“Okay, no doubting that reaction. Sorry, dude.” He shrugs off his faux pas.

“Okay, enough for now. I’m sorry I went in to work; there are still things—feelings, emotions—going on in my head that have me confused, but I know now I have to talk it through with you, not hide myself away. So, let’s have breakfast,” I check my watch, “I think it’s more brunch now. Then we can decide what we want to do for the rest of the day.” I clap my hands but don’t miss the heat in his eyes at the thought of what we could get up to today.

Since I cooked, Raff offers to clear and wash up but I end up helping as he has no idea where anything is or belongs. There are casual touches and chaste kisses but nothing too heavy, the conversation light and easy. The only sticky moment is when I mention his family: he brushes it off with a quick joke about me never wanting to meet them and a kiss. I let it go but there is something there. Now is not the time. Raff hasn’t mentioned Franco but he is sure to know of him. The De’ath name is world famous due to Franco and Nico’s vision of the future, long before he was so cruelly snatched from me. I appreciate his silence on this because he is something I’m not ready to talk about. Not yet, anyway.

What a day, I have laughed so much. My dream was correct on one thing; I can’t remember the last time I have felt this comfortable with someone. We never did define the term ‘us’, of what we are doing; I guess we’ll dance along to whatever tune gets played. But, to me, this means more, so much more. I never thought such a reaction existed.

Although I want Troy—want him under me, with my cock buried so deep inside him he can feel me touching his tonsils—I’m lying alone in bed. Why? I’m not so sure. I know it should be at the right time and I guess only we will know when that is. I also reckon he is a bottom; I can’t imagine him as a top, but it’s another thing we can learn about each other as our friendship develops. We both skirted around issues and, again, it’s day one of learning about each other. Why should we be baring our souls, or, in my case, airing my dirty laundry in public? I do not need Troy to know about my dreadful family.

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