Page 16 of Buried Secret 295

With that, she walks in the middle of the room. Her arms raise, and the golden hue of the room pulls around her. She melds into them as the dust seems to fall from the top of the library. They dance in the air only above the center area. With a shake of my head, I move to the spiral staircase and go upstairs with heavy thoughts.

When I find the pale green fabric couch, there is a table with a lunch-meat sandwich, chips, drink, and cookies. I grab the sandwich and start eating it with gusto. A moan escapes as I eat the turkey sandwich. I practically inhale my sandwich and chips. I lay back on the couch, cookies resting on my chest while I eat and relax.

A sigh escapes my lips as I look at the painted ceiling. It looks similar to stained glass. There isn’t a pattern, but their colors soothe me. A smile tugs at my lips, and I feel safe for the first time in a long time. I don’t allow any other thoughts to enter my mind. At this moment, I feel free. I’ve made it. I relax as I let myself feel it. No matter how often I wanted to give up, I didn’t. This moment would be perfect if 203 were here with me. I close my eyes and let my body drift off to sleep with thoughts of 203 keeping me company.

Chapter twelve

My head tries tomove so I can look around, but my body isn’t cooperating. My eyes blink as they dart around frantically, and I try to move or change positions again. When nothing happens, I feel panic setting in. I try to pull my arms and legs, fighting against the invisible force that has me stuck in position. A sense of calm takes over, spreading through my body.Relax.My shadows practically whisper while hissing at me. Hearing their voice reassures me that I am not alone. They are here with me, and I give into the feeling. I let them take the wheel because they seem confident while I don’t know what I am doing.

The unknown felt like quicksand; I dreaded getting swallowed up by it. Now that my body gave in, I came out on the other side. The room I find myself in feels enormous, or maybe I am tiny. I feel myself pushing myself back into acorner of the room, waiting to see what is happening. I can’t see what they want me to see, so I try to focus. The edges of the room are blurry, and the room is so bright that it’s almost blinding. My eyes adjust and I wonder if this is what an insect feels like.

That’s when I hear footsteps, which are followed up with a door slamming shut. “What do you mean she isn’t at the Academy? Where else could she be?” A deep, rumbling voice booms out. My eyes look, trying to locate the person and where the voice is coming from. The voice seems so familiar, yet not. A large man stands in the center of the room, holding onto a phone that is tightly gripped in his hand. His face is blurry and I can’t distinguish the features, but I feel too afraid to move. He scoffs, “So, there was no evidence of her being there?”

“I don’t care what it takes! You find her. There are only so many places she could be. This could ruin me!” Something sounds like it’s slamming before you hear glass shatter.

“What is going on?” A feminine voice says.

“What have I told you about knocking?” He grits out the words, each seeming harsher than the word before it.

“Seriously, father. Let me help. Are the rumors true? Did she come back?”

The sound of glass breaking sounds. “Yes. She was held in an anti-fae prison facility that is run by the human faction. Apparently, she has been stating that I took her there and gave her over to them. She has some type of mental impairment happening. She refuses to come home and now seems to have escaped the hospital. If this gets out…”

“Seriously? Did they fry her brain worse than what it already was? How could she ever believe you would do that to her? I know you were upset at Mother, but I truly believe she was tricked, or perhaps babies were swapped?” She sounds nervous as she says the last part.

“We are not talking about this! This girl will be set upon ruining me and all I have worked for! Yet somehow, all you seem concerned with is how this affects your mother.” Another loud crash sounds, making me sink further into the corner. “You either get on board or you get the hell out of this room!”

“I am on board! You know the lengths I have gone already!” She screams back at him, and I am pulled away.

“Why did she sleep here last night?” Constantine’s voice says quietly. I shoot upright, causing a cookie to fly off my chest. My pulse is elevating, and my shadows flicker along my skin.

My eyes take in the library’s third floor, looking to ensure he isn’t here. The whole thing was a dream, and Marcus couldn’t reach me when I was awake. I didn’t see him, but every part of me knew it was him. It seems like that was my sister. I remember having siblings, but I can’t remember their names. My sister and I didn’t have a good relationship. I don’t know a lot, but I remember that much.We felt danger, so we listened.My shadows explain, since I don’t quite understand how all this works. I think back to Constantine being pulled to my mother, and maybe it was something similar.

“Salem? Are you okay?” Constantine walks over. He looks tired as he tilts his head towards me before sitting on the couch. His face appears concerned, and he probably thinks I am about to have another episode like at Simon’s.

“My shadows. I think I saw Marcus. It was like I was there with him.” I look up at Constantine, waiting for him to tell me I am crazy. He simply scratches his beard and says nothing, so I continue. “I think he is trying to find me. Is this something that will be a normal thing for me?” I give him a weak smile that I don’t feel as my anxiety heightens. My hand rubs down my pants, feeling the need to fidget as thoughts of him make me feel like I am spiraling out of control. When I think about him, I feelso much fear. That child I once was is coming out, and I felt like I was not in control of my surroundings.

Constantine’s hand reaches out, but halfway extended, he stops before pulling back. “I imagine he is. He is probably in panic mode. He is probably meeting with a team of people to spin a story about you. I need you to be aware of that.” His voice sounds ominous. “This is one reason I want you to change your last name. Maybe the Academy won’t be so bad if nobody connects you to Salem Tempest.” He shakes his head and drops his eyes off me. “I hope you don’t mind being a Blackthorne, but that’s why I am pushing this. Not to control you, but to protect you.” His lips pinch into a fine line, and he shakes his head. “No matter what happens, we cannot prevent a connection between Tempest and Blackthorne. I want to buy you some time—an adjustment period before they come for you.” His hand runs through his hair before shaking his head. “It’s probably not going to work, but it’s worth a try. I want you to have a small amount of time to enjoy life, but I fear they will come for you the second you walk into that Academy. You understand that, right?” He pauses once more, his gaze intense. I can feel his guilt. “I need you to know this.”

Why does that make me feel strange? He wants me to enjoy life, even for a moment. My life will not be easy. It’s going to be hard because why should I expect anything less? It was hard before I turned 13 when I knew everyone didn’t want me around. Then, the facility left me with becoming a giant freak whose body is rejecting the mutations to my DNA. I have two choices: get on board and train or die. As much as I wish I could sit here and feel sorry for myself, that’s not an option. Even now, 203 motivates me to keep moving. I hear him taunting me if I roll over and take the easy way out. Instead, I opt out of that to Constantine and I only nod. The thought of being vulnerable isn’t something I can manage right now. “I’m aware. We have to train harder.” I givehim a small smile when he looks like he wants to argue with me. “But thank you for caring.”

Constantine shakes his head. “You don’t have to thank me for caring. But your shadows will sometimes take you places you need to be, even if you don’t want them to.” He shakes his head and closes his eyes before waving his hand across the table. My eyes blink in surprise as coffee and pastries sit on the table. “First things first. Tell me when shit’s not right. When you need to eat, tell me. We have established I am terrible at this. Even if I wasn’t already aware of that fact, I have been told of it too.” His eyes shoot to Monica, who is sitting on a nearby chair. She looks at him smugly and gives him a motion with her hand, signaling to continue. He speaks the next words through his clenched teeth. “I am inept, and I am sorry.” His nose twitches at that last part, and Monica beams at him.

I hold back a laugh that wants to leave my lips. Part of me wonders what exactly is going on. Constantine is trying, and he seems on board with whatever is happening, so I let it go. “Well, I am also inept at this. We will figure it out.”

My hand grabs the blue and white patterned coffee mug that almost looks like china. It probably is with its gold leaf markings. “Teach me to feed myself.” I feel foolish, but no part of me knows what I am doing. This part of me is like a muscle I haven’t been using. I need to feed and work on it. Who knows when my beast is coming back? I am stuck. Fighting against my mind and body is something I am having difficulty wrapping my head around. I am feeling like a ticking time bomb, ready to go off at any second.

After working with Constantine yesterday, I feel different areas within my mind. I can feel my sleeping beast taking up space and places where something else seems locked away. What is keeping them from escaping? I hope I have the strength to keep them under lock and key. I feel like I have made progressbut have found yet another hurdle to jump over. “Yes. Eat a Danish, then we will go.” Constantine motions to the table and I can only nod.

My eyes narrow on the pastries, questioning. They look delightful, probably made up of things one shouldn’t eat: sugar and calories. My head shakes because there is something inside that says they are forbidden. “I’m not supposed to eat those.” My eyebrows draw together, wondering where that came from.

“Why not?” Constantine refills his coffee. “You can eat anything you want. You didn’t have coffee before a few days ago, but now you need to eat sweets with coffee. There is some kind of scientific reasoning behind the bitterness and the sweetness. Just trust me.”

I pick up an apple pie filling type, with white gooey icing swirling around like an artist had a hand in creating it. “It’s almost too pretty to eat.” I feel silly as I take a bite, feeling my eyes widen as I chew and my taste buds rejoice. Constantine’s smug eyes look my way as I continue to eat, but I refuse to let him take the joy in being right. I know where I probably get my stubborn attitude.

When we finish our breakfast, Constantine claps his hands together. Everything on the table vanishes. “Okay, I want you to feel your shadows and gather them. When you do, pull them outside of you and step into them.”

I close my eyes, feeling my shadows like a second skin that ripples around me.Can you go outside, as he asks?You don’t have to talk to us like that. We know what you want to do. Use us. We are part of you.

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