Her head snapped up, lips parting in surprise as she watched Jess step outside, glancing around.
Then Jess paused as her gaze fell to her.
She looked down at her for a moment, and even from that distance, Sam could clearly see the way she seemed to steel herself before walking down the short flight of stairs.
Sam’s legs began moving on their own before she registered it, bringing her to the bottom of the stairway as Jess descended the last few steps.
Jess watched her with a timid look, crossing her arms over her chest as if holding herself together. “How does it feel being on the other end of that call this time?”
Sam released a tight breath, smiling slightly as she shook her head. “Terrifying,” she said with a laugh.
Jess hummed, her face still a hard mask. “You have it easy. You don’t have to worry about knocking on the door and having Chris open it.”
Sam laughed again. “Yeah, I definitely didn’t give you enough credit for that.”
A tiny flicker of amusement crossed Jess’ face before it immediately evened back out to its emotionless state.
Sam cleared her throat, glancing away as she worked to summon some tiny ounce of the confidence that usually came so easily to her.“Sorry,” she mumbled. “If you were busy or—”
“Sam,” Jess cut her off with a pointed look. “What do you want to talk about?”
Sam let out a deep breath, running a hand over the back of her neck. “I um—”
Her mind was reeling, searching for the best way to ease into it. The best way to explain how things had changed.
“I’m not going to London,” she blurted suddenly, as if the words refused to be held in even a second longer.
Jess blinked, staring at her. Then she blinked again, her brows furrowing as if it had taken a second to understand.“What?”
Sam swallowed, watching her. “Yeah.”
Then a mixture of something resembling guilt and panic flashed through Jess’ eyes.
“Not because of you,” Sam added immediately. “Or—I mean—” She shook her head. “There were a lot of reasons. It wasn’t the right choice to make.”
Maybe they’d have more time at some point, and she could tell her the details. But now wasn’t that time. The details didn’t matter. All that mattered was that Jess knew.
Jess looked down, nodding, her brow still slightly furrowed. “So you’re staying?” she asked slowly.
Sam nodded once. “Yeah. At least, for now. Caleb and I still need to talk through the details and really figure out what itmeans and how we’re gonna move forward,” she rambled, the words tumbling out of her mouth. “But—” She swallowed as their eyes locked together again. “Yeah. I’m staying.”
She wasn’t sure what she’d expected Jess to say or do after she told her. But the still guarded, careful look in her eyes was a surprise.
“And what does that mean, exactly?” Jess asked.
Yeah, she definitely should’ve thought the whole thing through more before just showing up.
“I—don’t know,” Sam muttered, every last bit of her confidence draining out with the inadequate words.
Jess’ lips pursed together as she let out a small breath, her shoulders dropping. “Okay.”
Sam swallowed against a sudden dryness in her throat. “I just—I wanted to tell you.”
Jess nodded slowly, her eyes flicking away. “Well, I’m happy for you. If that’s what you ended up wanting.”
Sam pursed her lips, looking down at the ground. “Thanks.”
The word felt hollow. Everything about what she’d said felt hollow—meaningless. And she hated herself for thinking it would’ve felt different—been different.