Page 130 of Finding Jess

Of course it didn’t change things. She’d already broken what they had. It was ridiculous to think she could fix that.

When she looked up again, Jess was watching her with guarded eyes. But behind that, she could see the hurt. And even though she felt that same deep sorrow, just looking at her made it better. Like being near her was enough to ease the pain.

“I’m sorry,” she said, watching the way Jess’ blonde hair fell perfectly out of her messy bun and around her face. “I know you didn’t want to talk.”

Jess stayed quiet, watching her with a deep intensity.

Sam swallowed, releasing a long exhale. “I just—I miss you.”

The carefully guarded mask of Jess’ features slipped slightly. Like those three words had tugged it from its place.

Jess stared for a long moment, studying her in the way she always did. Then she swallowed, looking away. “I don’t know where you wanted to go from here. But I don’t think this changes things.”

Sam felt her chest sink.

“It’s not that I don’t want it to,” Jess added, closing her eyes as she inhaled. And Sam could see the split emotions on her then. The carefully caged want. “But we’ve been here so many times before, Sam.”

Her voice cracked on her name, and it took every ounce of will she had to keep from reaching for her.

Jess took a deep, steadying breath. “How am I supposed to trust that you’re really in it this time?” She paused, shaking her head in frustration. “That something else won’t come up and I’ll wake up one day to you leaving again.”

Sam looked away to the darkened skyline. She couldn’t blame her. If anything, she understood completely. Even more than she realized. It was a feeling she knew all too well.

“I need time,” Jess whispered.

“Yeah.” Sam swallowed down the tight burn in her throat. “I understand.”

Jess stood there for a moment, her eyes on the ground. Then she took a step back, and that one single step felt like a thousand miles.

Sam watched her, wondering if that was how Jess felt each time she’d left. Each time she’d shoved her feelings down and walked away. And if it was, then she couldn’t blame her.

But they’d had time.

Too much time.

Excruciating years of it.

And she wasn’t about to let her slip away. Not again.

“I’ve loved you every minute for the last eight years.”

Jess’ gaze shot back up to her, lips parting as if that was the last thing she expected to hear.

The same clarity she’d had over the last week came flowing back to her. It wasn’t complicated. Not anymore. Jess was her person. And no matter what happened—no matter what they were—she needed her to at least know that.

“You’re it,” she continued. “You always have been. No matter how hard I’ve tried to move on, it’s always been you.”

Jess watched her, the guarded look now completely gone and replaced by pure shock. But Sam continued, feeling more confident than she had in weeks.

“If you need time, that’s fine. Take all the time you need. But I don’t. I know exactly what I want.” The corner of her mouth quirked up in a soft smirk. “I’ve known since the first time you kissed me.” She shook her head, releasing a deep breath. “Time won’t change that. It never has. At least—not for me.”

Jess looked at her, her gaze softening as something deeper flickered in her eyes. She took a slow, steady breath and stepped closer, close enough that Sam could feel the warmth radiating between them.

“You’re really not leaving?” Jess murmured, her voice just above a whisper, as if saying it any louder would break the moment. Her fingers brushed against Sam’s, tentative, then bolder as she took her hand.

Sam’s pulse kicked up as she tried to hold her ground, feeling the intensity in Jess’ touch, in the way she looked at her.

“I’m not leaving,” Sam whispered, trying to keep her voice steady.

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