Prologue
EVA
Even through all the heartache this past year, I never would have guessed that I’d be standing here, hearing what my ears were hearing.
But I was.
And I wasn’t sure where things went so terribly wrong, but they had. And I knew…I knew there was no coming back from this. Nothing in the world would undo what had been done.
“How could you do this to me?” I whispered into the chasm that separated Paulina and me. Nothing was keeping us tethered—not anymore.
“I never meant to hurt you.” She took a step toward me and I backed away, my jaw tensing. The look of pain that crossed over her face did nothing to extinguish the ire I felt. “I swear I never meant to hurt you. It all just got so fucked up and before I even knew what was happening, it was all out in the open.”
Tangy bitterness coated the back of my throat. Hurt mixed with confusion and anger made my chest burn. “You never meant to hurt me?” A coarse chuckle made its way past the lump in my throat. “How can you stand here in front of me, looking me in the eyes, and say that you never meant to hurt me? When there was no way in hell that doing what you did could do anythingbuthurt me.”
“I thought I was protecting you, Eva. I…I never meant for things to get so out of hand.” The tears that streamed down her face should have done something to me. They should have been the reason I was crying myself. But they weren’t. The tears flowing freely over my cheeks were laced with fury at what she’d done.
“Protecting me?” I seethed. “How in the hell do you think that what you did would protect me?” Heat crawled up the back of my neck as I opened and closed my fists.
I could feel the stares of people who walked past, slowing down to catch a glimpse of the action. I didn’t care though. I didn’t care who heard us or what people would think. That part of me died months ago when I finally unleashed myself from the burden of others.
“Did you sleep with him too?” The words were like ash on my tongue, my heart pounding against my ribs.
“Are you serious?” Paulina’s eyes were large saucers.
“Of course I’m fucking serious. Did you sleep with him?”
“I can’t believe you’re even asking me that.”
“Well, it’s not like I have any reason to believe you wouldn’t. Not after what you’ve done.” I was spewing venom now. It wasn’t right, but I wanted her to feel the hurt that was making my chest cave in. I wanted her to know that her betrayal was the worst of them all—even if it meant stooping down to her grimy level, I didn’t care. I was hurting too badly for consequences to mean anything.
Paulina’s eyes narrowed, the skin between her brows creasing heavily. “Honestly, Eva, I’m surprised that what I did even bothers you. It’s not like you were around. Since the start of senior year, you were different. You didn’t want to hang out with us anymore. You changed your major at the last minute to something none of us even knew you enjoyed. You had your own secrets, Eva. So don’t try to pretend that you weren’t already leaving us behind.”
And there it was. Her own dose of poison that she was trying to make me drink from. Her twisted version of the truth. The reason she thought was worth destroying our friendship for. She was bitter that I had started questioning everything, our relationship included. And so what? She wanted to take it out on me by pretending,for months, that she thought I was the one who turned Connor and his professor in. All the while, she was the mastermind behind it all. Now she was trying to tell me that she did it to protect me?
Anguish wrapped with hatred was like a hot rod pulsing through my heart. It was too much. My mind raced with images of her text messages after the news leaked to the press. The moment she yelled at me outside of our classroom. All the times I desperately needed her when my world was falling apart and she never once even asked me how I was doing.
Over a decade of friendship thrown to the wind. My heart banged and banged against my chest.
Now that she was caught, she tried to play it off that she was protecting me. From what, only her twisted mind could conjure up that mess. Or maybe she had molded the truth so much in her mind that evenshedidn’t know why she had done it.
This was a mistake. I never should have agreed to come here and listen to what she had to say. The gripping urge to run made me tap my foot incessantly. But I wouldn’t let myself run away. Not from her.
I returned her glare with one of my own and willed my racing heart to slow down. “The fact that you think what you did was okay because I was starting to change and question things,in my own life,just goes to show that I made the right decision in stepping away. Fromallof you. And you’re crazy if you can rationalize what you did to me, Paulina. To give you a little reminder, in case you’ve forgotten, you tried to blamemefor Connor’s affair going public. You screamed at me when I denied it. Then come to find out, it was you the entire time.” I took a step closer to her and her eyes widened slightly. “I know you’ve always been the jealous type. Fawning over what you could never have. But I didn’t take you to be a lying bitch too.”
Her mouth opened and closed as though whatever words she wanted to say were stuck behind her tongue.
“You can save whatever you’re about to say. There isn’t a single part of me that wants to hear it. You ruined this friendship, Paulina. Over ten years down the fucking drain because you couldn’t stand to put yourself aside for once and not royally fuck up everything in your lifeandmine.Youdid this. And now you have to live with the consequences.”
Before she could say another word, I turned my back on her and walked away.
ChapterOne
EVA
Getting a look at the third dress I’d tried on this morning, the soft white cotton felt cool on my skin as I swayed side to side. The overlay of white lace on the bodice was beautiful and against my sun-kissed skin, it made me look even more tan.
Stealing a glance at the other two dresses laid out on Garth’s bed, I let out a breathy sigh. I’d had the dresses for a few weeks now and I still couldn’t choose which one I wanted to wear to graduation. They were all so different.