Page 62 of Dare to Fall

“You can speak freely.”

The woman gave a curt smile and said, “It appears we have found one of the sources who first discovered the inappropriate relationship. One of the chemistry professors allegedly saw the new biostatistics professor and one of her students kissing in the laboratory. When the chemistry professor saw the news this morning, she decided to report to us what she had seen. But it’s still unclear who sold the story to the news outlets.”

“Thank you, Robyn. I’ll be out shortly. Please schedule a meeting with the chemistry professor. I would like to hear it directly from the source. There is no room for hearsay in this matter.”

“Absolutely. I’ll schedule the meeting right away.”

After Robyn shut the door, my mother turned her attention back on me.

“Well, it appears your story has checked out. This is going to be a PR nightmare for everyone involved. I’ll do my best to keep Eva’s name out of the news for as long as I can, but the rumors were already sparked over a month ago, so there’s no guarantee it won’t slip between the cracks. People love the drama, and they think little about the consequences it has for those involved. She will need you, Garth. So, if she is as important to you as you say she is, I hope you are ready to help her through the fallout.”

With more conviction than I’d ever had for anything in my life, I said, “I will do anything to protect her.”

31

Eva

“Well,it’s not going to get much better than this,” I mumbled to myself as I stared at the humbling reflection in the mirror.

It was official. The stress was getting to me, and I was all out of options as to how to fix it. I felt like a fragile doll that someone had dropped from a fifty-story building. Shattered beyond repair. When I wasn’t sobbing into my tear-soaked pillows, I was a numb shell of a human. Void of all emotions. I was sure Drema was getting whiplash from managing the mood swings, but she held up like a trooper. I, on the other hand, wasn’t holding up so well, given that, every other minute, my emotional state would shift in another direction.

It didn’t take long for it to dawn on me that Drema was my only friend at the moment. Paulina still hadn’t responded to any of the desperate pleas I made to her, and it wasn’t like Caroline would show any sympathy. The loneliness made me realize just how much I had isolated myself by being with Connor. When things were good, it didn’t matter because I spent all my time with him and our small circle. But when the going got tough, it seemed thatourfriends were no longermyfriends.

I stole another glance in the mirror as I tried to suppress the whirlwind of thoughts racing through my mind. There was no point in bothering with any makeup. No concealer in the world was strong enough to cover the dark circles under my eyes. And contour would only make my cheeks look even more hollowed in.

It had been difficult to eat anything over the past week. Every time I tried to consume something other than ice cream, I felt so nauseated I almost threw up. Running didn’t help either because by the time I made it a mile down the road, my body would ache so much from the lack of nutrition I’d have to turn around.

Last night, Drema asked if I wanted her to call my parents. I knew she was really worried about me, but calling my parents was the last thing on earth I wanted. From the start, they had despised Connor, and as time went on, my relationship with them fractured even more because of it. They always thought I was giving up too much of who I was.

Turned out, they were right this entire time. I just wasn’t ready to face that fact when I could hardly wrap my brain around everything that was happening in the moment. Plus, they wouldn’t understand what I was going through. Having met in high school themselves, my parents had only been with each other. Aside from some middle school flings, neither one of them experienced a breakup before. And if they saw how badly everything had affected me, there was no telling what they might do.

No. This was something I would have to endure without them. Eventually, I would have to kick myself in the ass and move on with my life.

Initially, it felt like I could have done that when it was just Connor who was the one who had betrayed me. But everything felt different when I got that text message from Paulina accusing me of being the one to report the story to the news. My best friend. Almost two decades of friendship thrown to the wind, for what?

Not to mention I still couldn’t bring myself to reply to Garth’s text messages. With each passing day, it felt like the possibility of seeing what my future might look like with him was slipping away.

“Fuck.” I clutched my stomach as the nausea started to set in again. It was difficult to tell if the roiling of my gut was from the stress or the fact that I was practically starved at this point.

I gathered my books and laptop in my bag and headed out the door for what was sure to be a terrible day. Sitting in my biochemistry class wasn’t exactly on my priority list for this morning, but I couldn’t afford to fall behind in such a rigorous course. I still had to meet with the academic advisor to discuss changing my major, but it all felt like too much at the moment.

I would get there…eventually. Just not today.

The early morning air was heavy with cool condensation. A light fog hung above the buildings and trees. No doubt it would soon clear as the Florida sun rose in the sky. I wrapped my sweater-clad arms around myself as I walked the path to the chemistry building.

As the familiar building came into view, my body went still as I saw Paulina standing in front of the door with her arms crossed and a scowl marking her face. Frozen where I stood, Paulina started walking toward me. Bile rose in my throat as my best friend stopped a foot away from me with hate in her eyes.

“I can’t believe you, Eva,” she hissed. “How could you sell the story to the news? You know it’s just a matter of time before Connor’s name gets released and his chances of going to medical school are over. Why did you do it?”

Her accusation cut just as deep as it did the first time I read it in the text message. And even worse, she didn’t ask how I was doing. The guy I had spent five years of my life with had been having an affair for months, and Paulina didn’t bother to see how fucked up that was. The only thing she saw was the web of lies Connor had spun for her and our friends—that he was the victim in all of this, and I was the evil villain who was vindictively ruining his life.

I took a step toward her, my fists clenching at my sides.

“Paulina, I’m not sure what your motive is for choosing to support Connor through this instead of your best friend who you’ve known literally your entire life. And honestly, at this point, I don’t care to know your reasoning behind being a total and complete bitch. But just to get the record straight, I didn’t sell his shitty story to the news. And based on what you told me a month ago, the rumor mill has been going for a while now, and I was one of the last people to find out. What I don’t understand, though, is how you can keep your integrity by choosing to believe a guy over your best friend, andheisn’t even your boyfriend. He wasmyboyfriend, who cheated on me for months! My heart is broken—completely shattered—and my best friend is nowhere to be found. Instead of calling me to see how I’m doing, you make nasty accusations and take his side. I hope you find what you’re looking for when the dust settles, because when you finally wake up and realize what a huge mistake you’ve just made, I won’t be around to take any more of your punches.”

Angry tears welled in my eyes, masking the gut-wrenching hurt that settled over my body. I could only wonder what the hell had twisted Paulina into being so against me. But I refused to stick around and find out. As I walked past her, I felt the glare of her eyes on me the entire time. If my words sank in at all, she didn’t show it.

The metal door slammed against the wall as I yanked it open. A few students turned in their seats to see who had caused the ruckus. I kept my head down and found a seat in the back left row, far from my usual spot next to Paulina who walked in a few paces behind me. She sat down in her normal spot and rustled her notes out of her bag.

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