Page 63 of Dare to Fall

The longer I looked at her, the more the hurt sank in. Every piece of my life was fracturing, and I didn’t know how to put it all together again. Nothing was going to be the same, and it terrified me.

As the lecture dragged on, I caught Paulina looking over her shoulder at me with nothing but disdain on her face. I tried to concentrate on taking notes, but it was useless. My mind reeled, and I couldn’t focus on anything other than the fact that my world was falling apart, bit by bit.

The desk vibrated as my phone buzzed against the wood. Another news alert lit up the screen. My heart started racing as I opened the article to find that Connor’s name had officially been revealed. Now the entire country would know that he was the student involved in the affair.

Paulina was right about one thing. This would definitely make an impact on his ability to get into a good medical school. Any respectful program would be hesitant to admit a student who had an inappropriate relationship with a professor. There would be concern that he received biased advantages that didn’t accurately reflect his abilities as a student and future doctor. Plus, the stain of having his university dragged through the mud for his indiscretions wouldn’t help his case either.

And I knew it was only a matter of time before I got dragged into the mess of it all. Not that I was at risk of losing a coveted position as a medical student, but I had a future to plan, and having my name in the press wouldn’t make any of this easier.

Just as I closed out of the article, my phone buzzed with another alert—a text from Paulina. A true glutton for punishment, I tapped on the text message and opened it up.

Paulina:Well, it seems like you got what you hoped for. I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before the professor’s name is revealed and you ruin two people’s lives. Connor may have cheated on you, Eva, but at least he didn’t destroy your entire future.

There was nothing I could do at this point. Nothing I could say. Paulina didn’t believe me, and now I not only lost my boyfriend, but my best friend too. Knots twisted in my stomach as the nausea rose to another level.

I was going to be sick.

I packed up my bag and darted out of the classroom. Just as the outside doors swung open, I started dry heaving. Wet tears streamed from my eyes. My body wretched uncontrollably, the stress finally taking hold. I had nothing left to give. So, I let the waves of every emotion I felt wash over me, cascading in shaky convulsions throughout my body.

Hurt. Pain. Anger. Sadness. Confusion. Fear.

Each one blended into the other until the numbness took hold and I finally gained a sliver of control. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I stood up straight, slung my bag over my shoulder and walked away.

Garth

I was losing my fucking mind.

Desperation clouded my judgment as I stood outside of Eva’s photography classroom. The seconds hand on my watch slowly ticked by as I waited for her class to end.

I had called her three times yesterday, and after the third call went straight to voicemail, I knew something was wrong. I couldn’t explain it, but I could feel it in my bones.

Connor’s name was released in the papers, and after hours of monitoring the online news outlets, people were starting to talk. Most of the comments were made about Connor or the university. But there were a few stating that Connor also had a girlfriend at the time. One comment in particular made my vision turn red.

It must have been made by someone who knew them, because it seemed like a personal attack, stating that Connor’s girlfriend always had a jealous streak and was probably the one who sold the story to the news. The person clearly had it out for Eva, because she definitely didn’t seem to be the jealous type. Her fault lied more in giving too much of herself away.

Eva’s name still hadn’t been revealed, but I could only imagine what those comments would do to her when she saw them.

Fear crept down my spine as I wondered if Eva was ignoring my calls for a different reason. Maybe I was coming on too strong when she just needed a break from everything. The night of the exhibit hadn’t turned out as I’d hoped for, and I didn’t have a chance to fully explain myself before she walked away. I just wanted the chance to tell her how special she was and how I only wanted to do what was right by her. But even more so, I wanted to be there for her when she needed support the most.

None of it made sense—how protective I felt over a woman I barely spent time with. But it didn’t have to make sense. I’d never felt this way about anyone before, and I wasn’t going to give up on her or the potential ofuswhen she needed me. I would be patient for however long it took. Until she told me directly to leave her alone, I would fight for her.

The door to the building creaked open as students started filing out. My pulse quickened as I waited to see Eva’s long auburn hair and chocolate eyes. A few more students walked through the door, and then my heart plummeted.

Eva walked through the double doors and immediately spotted me. But her warm eyes didn’t shine as they once had, and her cheeks were sunken in as if she had gone weeks without eating. In such a short amount of time, the strong athletic woman I had come to know had transformed under the stress of the chaos swirling around her.

Feet planted, she stood right in front of the doorway. As I walked slowly toward her, tears pooled in her eyes, threatening to spill over. The look on her face punched a hole through my chest. She was in so much pain, and I didn’t know what to do. So, I did the only thing that felt right in that moment. Taking her into my arms, she crumbled against my chest. I squeezed her tighter, enveloping her small frame with my body, shielding her from the world.

Her long thick eyelashes clung together from the tears as she peered up at me.

“I’m so sorry, Garth,” she sobbed.

My heart cracked under the weight of her gaze.

“Oh, Eva. I’m the one who should be sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong. I just didn’t want to make your situation any more confusing than it already is.” I leaned down and placed my forehead against hers.

“If I could kiss you a thousand times a day for the rest of eternity, it would never be enough,” I whispered and planted a soft kiss to her cheek. “But selfishly, I didn’t want our first kiss to be tainted by the anguish someone else has caused you. When I kiss you, I want you to be sure that my kiss is what you want and not just what you think you need to make you feel better.”

A lightness took hold in her face, and through the tears, she gave me a small smile.

---