Page 40 of Dare to Fall

If I was being honest with myself, I also hoped she would move on from this relationship that was causing her so much turmoil. I wanted the chance to get to know her—therealher—without the facade she was forced to put up for everyone else. There was no explanation for how I felt when I was around her. The relentless need to be close to her was starting to wear me down. I could hardly focus on anything else when I was in her presence, and she was starting to possess the moments when she wasn’t even here.

With the art exhibit only a week away, I had to focus on getting the final touches added to my pieces. Somehow, I would have to force her out of my mind until then.

A muffled ringing broke through my thoughts. Slowing to a fast walk, I grabbed my phone from my pocket and saw it was Lucas.

I wiped the slick screen on my t-shirt before hitting the green button with my thumb. “Hey, Lucas, what’s going on?” I asked.

“Listen, Garth, I’m so sorry to bother you in the middle of the day again, but I really need you right now.” He sounded urgent, his voice cracking.

“Is everything okay?” Panic rose in my chest.

He let out a long sigh. “I don’t know, man. That kid I was telling you about had another appointment today. It’s not looking good at all, and I feel like I’m losing it.”

“Where are you right now?” I looked around the lake, trying to remember which end I parked my car.

“I’m in my office at the hospital. I had to cancel my next three patients because I’m such a wreck. My hands keep shaking, and all I can see isher, lying in the hospital bed, waiting to die.”

Fuck. He really was freaking out.

“Okay, I’m heading back to my car now. I was on a run at the lake, so it’ll take me a little while to get there, but I’m on my way. Will you be okay until I get there?”

“Yeah, I think so. Just try to hurry, Garth. I don’t know what the fuck’s wrong with me.”

I locked eyes on my car across the lake and started toward it. “Nothing is wrong with you, Lucas. You treat children with cancer. It was bound to catch up with you at some point. Just take a deep breath, and I’ll be there as soon as I can, alright?”

“Okay,” he sighed.

I slipped my phone back into my pocket and jogged toward my car. My heart raced as I turned the key in the ignition and backed out of the parking spot. On the phone, I was trying to be as calm as possible, but my mind was racing. I didn’t know what to do to help Lucas other than be there to hear him vent. When we were at Bloom 31, I could tell that this case was really bothering him more than any other case had. But it still wasn’t like him to be this frantic. Lucas was one of the most stable people I’d ever known.

He had to be.

Ever since Lily was first diagnosed, Lucas had changed from a carefree kid to a hardened shell of who he used to be. Where I vowed to live freely in her honor, Lucas had to be something different. His parents barely made it through the loss of Lily. They were never the same after she died. Lucas felt that he had to be the strong one so his parents wouldn’t have to worry about anything else. Now it seemed that this little girl was breaking through his barriers, and I was scared of what might happen to him if everything came crashing down.

I hated hospitals.

Or any medical setting, for that matter. The harsh lighting, frigid temperatures, and white walls left me feeling claustrophobic and craving warmth. Some would say that a blank canvas left much for interpretation and inspiration. I’d always said that was bullshit. What kind of inspiration gets sparked from nothingness? That was why my loft was filled with rich tones and a variety of textures. Stimulation of the senses was how I fired up my own inspiration, depleting the anxiety I felt when starting a new piece on a white backboard.

I pushed down the dread that was creeping up my spine and made my way to the fourth floor. As the elevator doors opened, I was met with the harsh scent of cleaning chemicals. Dozens of people dressed in scrubs and lab coats breezed past me. I darted through them, heading for the nurses’ station. Hospitals were like mazes, and it had been a while since I had been in Lucas’ office.

An older woman with peppered black hair and dark-gray eyes sat behind the circular desk, her attention fixated on the computer screen in front of her.

“Excuse me, ma’am,” I said.

She looked up at me and studied me for a moment before saying, “Well, if it isn’t Mr. Garth Walker. I haven’t seen you around these parts for some time. What can I help you with today?” Like honey dripping on a cold winter day, each word drew on with her thick Southern accent. Crows feet gathered around her eyes as her face lit up with a smile. I couldn’t help but smile back.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d remember me, Ms. Maribelle. It’s been a while. I was wondering if you would mind showing me to Lucas’ office. I’d get lost without you.” I winked at her.

“You handsome devil. If I knew any better, I’d say you’re trying to flirt with me.” She rose from her seat and walked around the desk. “Come on. I’ll walk you over to Dr. Byrne’s office.”

“Thank you, Ms. Maribelle.”

I followed her down a long hallway of patients’ rooms. It was difficult not to glance through the open doors. As we neared the end of the hall, I heard muffled crying in one of the rooms we were approaching. When we passed, I peeked in and saw a little boy lying in the oversized bed with gauze wrapped around his head. His eyes were closed. I took another step, and around the corner of the room, there was a woman sitting in a chair. Dark circles were embedded beneath tired eyes, and her nose was red and swollen. She held a tissue in her hand as she stared at the sleeping boy.

Chills rose all over my body at the sight. I wondered if the mother only reserved her crying for the times when her son was asleep.

A hand brushed my arm. I turned to see Ms. Maribelle, the smile on her face withered to a deep frown. “Those are the hardest cases. When there’s nothing we can do for them anymore but make them comfortable. God bless her soul, she hasn’t left the hospital once since he was admitted over a month ago.” She shook her head and sighed. “Come on now. Dr. Byrne’s office is just around the corner.”

A sinking feeling settled in my stomach. So much pain and grief, and Lucas was surrounded by it every single day. He was built for this kind of work. Cut from a different cloth, some people just had the capacity to take the weight of the world’s suffering on their shoulders. But even the strongest people wavered sometimes.

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