Page 15 of Dare to Fall

But Connor had a dream for us, and now we were seeing that dream through. And it was supposed to be my dream too, even if it didn’t feel like it right now.

My eyes fluttered open, and I squinted against the assault of the bright sunlight. Right in front of me, streams of light hit the water perfectly, creating a rainbow of dancing colors. A smile split my lips as I grabbed my camera and peered through the small square. I snapped several shots, as not to miss the moment before I looked down at the small screen.

Perfect.

I zoomed in on the last image. Droplets of water frozen in time hovered around the miniature rainbow. Edges of purple, red, blue, and orange were stacked on top of one another. Blades of grass were blurred in the background, giving the water more life and depth. A peaceful moment under the sunshine. What life should always look like. Joyous and free. Creative. The potential for something spectacular.

I lost myself in these moments often—maybe too often, given the current stack of homework sitting on my desk at the apartment. But photography had a way of pulling me into something I never would have noticed before. Magical little moments that changed the way I saw the world. When my parents gave me my first camera when I was a sophomore in high school, it changed everything for me. I spent my entire monthly allowances on prints that now covered my childhood bedroom. I brought it everywhere with me.

There were times when I tried to share it with Connor, but he never understood the arts, let alone the desire to create something. He only ever had one goal in mind and refused to let anything distract him from that goal.

So, I chose to follow his footsteps. Because I loved him that much.

The Florida heat seeped into my skin. Tiny droplets of perspiration gathered on my arms and across my forehead. If Paulina were here, she’d be complaining the entire time. The only time she liked the heat was when she could wear a bikini and work on her tan.

Leaning back on my hands, I tilted my head back again. The thick blades of grass crinkled under my palms. Heat radiated from the top layers, but as my weight sank against the ground, I could feel the cool layer of earth shielded from the sacrificial top layer.

A slight burning sensation hit my eyes as sweat rolled into the corners. I let them burn. It reminded me of that first dive into the ocean. Coming up for a breath of air, that first plunge always burned the most. Until the sea carried everything away. Cleansing the body, mind, and soul.

A cacophony of voices filled the air around me. The fountain courtyard was always a major hotspot for students. The perfect place to lounge and study. Or to steal not-so-secret kisses.

A girl’s voice sounded louder than the rest. I tilted my head to the right, opening my eyes to see a group of three girls, who looked a little younger than me, gathered in a triangle, their backpacks strewn across the grass.

The one talking had long black hair with a splash of freckles across her nose and cheeks. She was clearly the leader of their little triad. Both of her friends were wide-eyed, completely engulfed in whatever she was talking about.

Curious to know what the three were so interested in, I focused on tuning the surrounding sounds out so I could hear them better.

“I don’t think any professor should be allowed to work with students when they look as gorgeous as she does,” the black-haired girl said.

The girl to her right swished her long, white-blonde hair over her shoulder, signs of the heat already turning her porcelain skin a mild pink. “Honestly, that’s what all the guys want, though. I mean, how many times did we hear our guy friends in high school talk about banging the teachers? And none of them were even close to being attractive.”

A pip-squeak sound came from the third girl. Perfectly tanned with long slender legs. Large brown eyes peered out from under a fringe of thick bangs cut perfectly with her long chestnut hair to accentuate her high cheekbones. Given her looks, she should have been the leader of the little pack, but she appeared more timid, almost as though she didn’t want to piss off the black-haired girl. “Yeah, but none of them actually did it. They never slept with one of the teachers. That’s something you only hear about in movies.”

The black-haired girl flicked her eyes toward the chestnut-haired girl with a look of irritation. “Well, it’s happened here. Jonathan wouldn’t lie to me. Plus, all the guys in his fraternity literally know about everything that happens on this campus. There’s so much shit that goes around, but it’s like they just know what’s real and what’s not.”

The chestnut-haired girl leaned back a little, appearing more distant now, as though her standing within the triad danced on the edge of a knife.

“I’m totally sure that you’re right, Audryn. There’s no way that Jonathan would lie to you. If he says the professor is sleeping with a student, then she obviously is,” the blonde-haired girl said, leaning closer.

My mind was pulled back to the years in high school. The group before me was a reflection of my own experience with Paulina and Caroline. I always felt somewhat on the outskirts, especially when Caroline was around. She always had a way of ostracizing one of us so that she could be closer to whomever she favored in the moment. Unfortunately, Paulina tended to fall for it every time, even though we were the ones who had been best friends since kindergarten.

I guess I couldn’t really blame Paulina, though. She always had a desire to fit in because of the shit her mom put her through, always making her feel like she wasn’t good enough. So Paulina gave in to Caroline when she was chosen as the favorite-of-the-moment, and she begged for forgiveness anytime they were on the outs. It didn’t matter how many times I tried talking to her about the bullshit Caroline pulled; Paulina would always side with her in the end.

Maybe it was some sad attempt to get closer to Brent.

“I heard the guy is one of her current students. That he’s super smart and she wants to move to whatever medical school he gets into.” The girl named Audryn’s voice broke through my thoughts.

I chuckled to myself at her statement. There was no way in hell a grown woman would change her entire career for a college guy—at least, not a woman in her right mind.

The blonde looked around conspiratorially. “Wouldn’t that be amazing, though? A sexy professor falls in love with you and then decides to follow you while you chase your dreams? How romantic!”

I rolled my eyes at that. These girls were so fucking delusional. Whoever it was they were talking about was probably just looking to get a quick lay and would tell a student anything they wanted to hear. And it wasn’t like it would take much for a good-looking woman to get in a college guy’s pants. I could easily see Brent falling for something like that, but any decent guy would see through the facade and know it was all a scheme.

I checked my phone and groaned as I realized it was finally time for me to head back to the apartment to get started on my biochemistry homework. My bag felt heavy as I swung it between my legs to load up my camera. A pit formed in my stomach at the thought of sitting in my room for the rest of the day, memorizing flashcards. I’d much rather have been out here in the glorious sunshine or walking along the hiking trails to get some stills of the marshland. But duty called, and I couldn’t afford to get behind in these final classes, or my GPA would suffer.

Connor made a point of only wanting to apply to the most prestigious medical schools in the country, and if I wanted to go with him and not spend four years apart, I needed to keep at it.

The zipper on my camera bag zinged as I pulled it shut. For some reason, it felt like I was closing off a piece of my heart as I hid my camera away in the darkness. A wave of conflict settled in my bones, but I pushed it down, unwilling to deal with the internal battle that would surely begin if I opened that door.

---