Page 16 of Dare to Fall

I brushed away at the strands of torn grass from the backs of my legs. As I swung the strap of my bag over my shoulder, I heard Audryn say, “Jonathan told me that one of his fraternity brothers saw them kissing in the parking lot. It was last week, before classes started.”

“Did he know who it was?” the blonde asked.

Audryn shook her head. “It wasn’t anyone he knew, but he did look like an upperclassman. Jonathan heard that it was one of her new students, so it probably hasn’t been going on for very long.”

Audryn’s gaze turned toward me, and I realized I was standing awkwardly, staring at them. She lowered her voice, so I couldn’t hear what she said, but the other two girls giggled and turned my way. My cheeks flushed from being caught snooping on their conversation, so I darted off toward my apartment as another knot formed in my stomach. And this time it had nothing to do with my homework.

8

I flickedopen the car visor mirror and stared at the sight of my frizzy hair. The strands around my forehead felt wet to the touch as I ran my fingers along the top of my head, trying to tame the baby hairs flying out in all directions. Salt clung to the surface of my skin along my forearms, the moisture dried up from the cold air blasting through the vents. It didn’t matter how hard I pressed against my head, the baby hairs were here to stay. I slammed the mirror shut just as my phone pinged.

The screen lit up with a text from Connor telling me he already got us a table and put my favorite order in. He had called me after my neuroanatomy class and asked if we could meet for an early dinner. I was already a mile in on my five-mile run and didn’t feel like turning back. There was a lot of pent-up energy I needed to get out, so I told him it’d have to be somewhere I could show up to in all my post-workout glory. But the feel of my thighs sticking together from the sweat made me want to reconsider the dinner all-together as I peeled myself off the leather seat.

I made my way through our favorite Irish pub to the patio seating in the back. A waiter set down two waters at the table where Connor was seated. As the man walked off, I slid into the seat across from Connor.

“Hey, babe!” His eyes lit up, and the worry I felt from the past two weeks melted away as I met his steel-blue eyes.

I smiled at him. “Sorry I’m late. I was trying to tame this mess. I didn’t have time to take a shower after my run.”

He twirled the straw in his water, and the ice cubes splashed up against the sides of the old-school Coke glass. “I don’t know how you run in this heat. Why don’t you just join me and Brent at the gym? I’m sure you could run on one of the treadmills.”

My smile fell immediately. “Because it’s not the same. Running in place on a squeaky machine doesn’t compare to running outside.”

Another piece of myself he didn’t approve of. It became more overt over the years—his blatant desire to mold every aspect of me into whathethought I should be. When we had first started dating, I went through an entire transformation to fit in with his friends—the popular, preppy crowd. Caroline made sure that I dressed according to their rules. Connor couldn’t be caught dating someone who didn’t fit his rigid expectations. And at that time, I was so desperate for his affection I was willing to sell off any piece of myself to be his.

“I’m just saying, babe, it might be nice to work out together since we don’t have that much time together anymore.” He took a long sip of his iced tea.

My arms tingled as the blood underneath started to boil. I wanted to scream at him, tell him that we would have had plenty of time together already if he hadn’t ditched me the entire first week back. That he was the one who chose to go down this tedious path, and I stupidly followed him because I loved him. All thoughts, I realized, I had maybe felt all along but for some reason were now amplified with a megaphone.

But I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to fight. I just wanted things to go back to normal. I wanted all the doubt and frustration in my head to stop, so I opted to change the subject.

“How’re your classes going?”

His gaze flicked up to meet mine as he sat back in his chair and pulled his right ankle over his left knee. “Really great. I mean the homework assignments are insane, but Brent and I have gotten a study schedule down, so that should help. I really need to start looking at my MCAT books to get an idea of how much I should be studying for that each day.”

My stomach dropped at the thought of starting my own studying for the MCAT. I knew it needed to be done, though. It was what I should do if I wanted to get into a top-tier medical school.

“Would you want to study for that together?” I asked.

Just as the words left my mouth, Connor’s phone lit up on the table. It was a text message, but that was all I could see from across the table. He picked it up and started typing out a response, completely ignoring me.

“Connor.” His name almost felt foreign on my tongue, like a whisper of something I hadn’t spoken in a really long time.

He finished typing out his response and looked back to me, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, babe. What did you say? That was an email for class, and I didn’t want to forget to respond later.”

My face twisted at his blatant lie. As if I couldn’t see that it was a text before he picked it up. My heart thudded against my chest.What the hell was going on with him?I didn’t understand how, in such a short period of time, everything could change between us.

I let out a sigh, lost for words. “It wasn’t anything important.”

“Okay.” His brows knitted together for the briefest moment before the waiter interrupted us with our food.

He set down my cheeseburger and fries before placing Connor’s order of chicken and steamed broccoli down in front of him.

“Thank you,” I said to the waiter before he walked off.

Connor unraveled his napkin to reveal the silverware underneath. I took the first bite of my burger, relishing in how delicious it was after running five miles. A gurgling sound of appreciation rose up to my ears as the first few bites hit my empty stomach.

“I don’t know how you still eat that kind of stuff, knowing how bad it is for you.” I lowered the burger to see Connor staring at me with a disgusted look on his face.

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