Page 10 of Christmas Kisses

"I thought we might share a sandwich. Is that okay?"

"You didn't have to do this, Ben."

"Actually, I did have to do it, and you should expect things like this from your suitors. You deserve to be treated well, Sam."

Damn it, I thought I was done with the blushing, but this man says such sweet things to me. I can't help myself. He offers me what looks like punch, and I nod for him to go ahead and serve me. It feels weird being treated like a special person. The guys I dated back in high school didn't even leave a good memory.

"So, a few things before we start. First, you should laugh at all my jokes."

I don't know what to say to that so I remain quiet.

"That was a joke," he says.

I don't laugh.

"A very bad one?"

"Fine.” He sits back. “I'd like to know how you would flirt with me if you wanted to attract my attention."

"Um, I'd probably give you free coffee or food."

"Physically, I mean. We're here together. Where are your hands? What are you thinking about?"

"Do you want free food for the rest of your life?"

"Don't do that. You'll attract the crazies."

"I guess I could try harder to laugh at your jokes. I feel like I skipped this class at school. Why is this so hard?"

"Let's do an exercise. Close your eyes."

I eye him dubiously. Perhaps this is too out there. I start to get up.

"Wait. Give me a little trust. I won't touch you. All I want to do is some visualization exercises."

"You know about visualization?"

"I'm a handyman, not a barbarian." He scoffs. "Close your eyes."

This time, I follow his gentle command and close my eyes. I hear noises from afar, but in general, the night is quiet. Thecoffee shop is warm and toasty, and I can almost feel Ben's presence across from me. I nod so he can continue.

"Think about a man whose attention you want. You're both standing in front of one another and smiling at one another. What would you do to make him focus on you if you allowed yourself to do it?"

The person I immediately think of is the Mayor, and I almost melt when thinking about him standing so close to me. I'm a big believer in personal space so I always try to be careful around others to respect theirs. I hesitate a bit too long because Ben starts talking again.

"Remember, you are giving yourself permission to reach out to this person however you see fit. You want their focus on you—you want to get their attention. What do you do?"

"I guess…I would touch them on the arm so they'd look at me."

"Would you leave your hand on their arm or take it away?"

"Take it away as soon as they place their focus on me."

"Could you see yourself keeping your hand on his arm during an entire conversation? Remember you're interested in this person romantically."

"I don't know." I shrug my shoulders and open my eyes abruptly. "I'm sorry. I don't know that I could be that forward. It felt uncomfortable even in my mind."

I can see the disappointment in his eyes, but I don't know what to tell him.

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