Page 10 of Taught By the Mountain Man

I don’t know if I’m ready to believe that yet, I reply.But…I want to. I really do. I just don’t want to get hurt again. I don’t know if I can take it.

I hitsend, my pulse racing.

There it is. The truth. The fear that has been lurking in the background for so long. I can’t shake the idea that somehow, somewhere along the way, I’ll get hurt again.

Becki’s reply is quick and reassuring.You’re strong, Star. And I know it’s scary. But if you want this — if you want Barrow — I think you should give it a shot. I’m not saying you have to throw yourself into it headfirst, but don’t shut yourself off completely. Don’t let fear take over. You deserve something real.

The words strike deep.Something real. I haven’t allowed myself to believe in that for so long. But now, with Barrow’s kindness, with his quiet patience, I’m starting to wonder if maybe I can.

Maybe I can try.

I type my reply, a little more confident this time.Thanks, Becki. You always know what to say. I think I might try. At least, I’m going to let myself try. I’m scared, but maybe that’s a good sign. Maybe that means it matters.

Becki’s response comes almost immediately.Exactly. Good luck, Star. You’ve got this. And hey, remember — take your time. One step at a time. You don’t have to rush anything.

I lean back into the couch, the weight of the conversation settling over me. I close my eyes for a moment, letting the quiet of my apartment fill the space around me.

I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t know what’s going to happen with Barrow. But I feel something stirring inside me, something I haven’t felt in a long time: hope. Hope for something new. Hope for something real.

Barrow has shown me more than just attraction tonight. He’s shown me the possibility of trust again. And though that scares me, it also feels like the beginning of something bigger. Something worth fighting for.

I sigh, letting the weight of the decision settle. There’s no going back, but maybe that’s okay. Because for the first time, I’m starting to believe that it might be worth the risk.

Barrow

Icouldn’t sleep last night.

The more I tried to settle my mind, the more it wandered back to her — Star.

I tossed and turned, the sheets twisted around my legs, Sugar’s big, white form sprawling across my chest in protest. She’s normally a good sleeper, but this time, she didn’t like it any more than I did. Every time I shifted, her head would lift, her eyes slits of annoyance, before she curled back up again.

I’m sure she was fed up with the constant movement by the time I finally gave up and dragged myself out of bed.

The morning sun filters in through the window, but the haze in my mind won’t clear. Star’s words, her laugh, the way she looked at me when I mentioned things I’d never said aloud before — all of it’s swirling in my head.

She felt real, more real than anyone I’ve been with in a long time.

Maybe ever.

And I can’t stop thinking about her.

I get up, stretch, and wander into the kitchen, making coffee, though the idea of drinking it feels like it’s not going to fix anything. But I need to do something about this feeling in my chest.

I can’t shake it. I want to see her again, talk to her again. I want to be with her, as much as that scares the hell out of me.

Sugar yawns and pads off the couch to stare at me, probably still waiting for me to stop being restless. I rub her head, and she gives a resigned meow before hopping off the counter and curling up next to the window.

That’s it, I decide. I can’t sit here all day, wondering. I need to do something about this. I can’t just let this feeling fade away without giving it a chance.

I grab my jacket, leave Sugar behind with her indignation, and head to Snowpack Cafe. But before I go, I make a stop at Plump Produce. It’s on the way, and I’ve been thinking it might be nice to get Star something. Maybe flowers. Something simple. Not too over the top, but enough to let her know I’ve been thinking about her.

The bell over the door rings as I walk in, and Becki looks up from where she’s stocking some oranges. The faintest, knowing smile flickers across her face when she sees me. She’s too sharp not to know what’s going on.

“Good morning, Barrow,” she says, cheerful but with a glint of curiosity in her eyes. “You’re up early. What’s the occasion?”

“Just needed to get out of the house,” I reply, trying to keep it casual as I make my way to the flower section. “Thought I’d grab something nice.”

Becki watches me for a beat, and I’m pretty sure she can tell I’m nervous. She tilts her head and purses her lips, the same teasing smile still there.

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