I put in the hours right away, waking up Saturday morning and texting Kelcey first thing, rolling out of bed and squeezing food in my mouth while I booted up the computer to get started on the project, talking through the details with her, sending her early concepts. She shared detailed feedback and suggestions in between small talk and pictures of our meals as the day went on—Kelcey was a foodie, and I’d always thought anyone who self-described asfoodiewas annoying at best, but when it was Kelcey suddenly I just thoughtwow, that’s so cool, I never really thought about food in the way she does,because… that was probably also just because I thought she had a nice ass and that was all there was to it.

It took until the evening, when Kelcey had to go to a family event that I knew was giving her complicated feelings after that dickwad Miranda had given her grief about her family, with me left alone aimless without Kelcey to talk to, for meto realize I had about thirty notifications from my reactivated dating profile. I felt an awkward sense of being in the wrong place as I opened it, scrolling through messages. A whole bunch of matches with men who didn’t seem as interesting as they had when I had first swiped right on them… most of them sent messages, pretty much all along the lines ofheyand leaving it at that. Like—was pussy such a low priority that they couldn’t even manage a second word in their quest to get it? Better than the two girls who’d matched with me too, neither of whom had messaged at all. Because god forbid a woman makes the first move. She’d die.

I at least had one interesting reply from a guy called Noah, a guy who’d managed to show sporty-looking photos on his profile without coming across like one of thoseyeah I go to the gym, now suck my dickguys who infested dating apps. He’d actually read my profile, judging by the fact that he mentioned my listed interest in arts and said he liked a girl who was good with a paintbrush, mentioned he’d been taking some classes, and asked to see some of my works. Still straightforward enough about how he thought I was hot so that it didn’t seem like he’d be wasting my time, but an okay enough place to start a conversation and not justhey.

I’d kind of forgotten about my resolution to get laid… I really wanted to just get myself laid down in bed with a muffin and text Kelcey, but if I wanted to get over her, it was probably worth a try.

Even if it felt as appetizing as eating cardboard. If I acted like I was interested, maybe the interest would follow. Or maybe I’d at least be more into it once I had a dick inside me.

So I shot him a message that I hoped came across as enthusiastic and excited, and I set about making dinner. He replied pretty quickly—not quickly enough to scream desperation, which was nice, because that was a turn-off ifanything was, but quickly enough that I didn’t forget about his existence. We went back and forth for a while, not really a spark but not really anything bad either, and when he asked if we wanted to schedule something tomorrow to meet up, grab coffee and see where it went, I clearly had Kelcey on the brain, because I told him I was busy tomorrow but that I could do tonight—at the specific times Kelcey had given me that she’d be busy with her family.

If it came across as too forward and pushed him away, I’d honestly be kind of relieved. But it didn’t—he said he could make today work, and after a bit, said he’d cleared the evening, and he suggested a coffee shop, which was nice that he’d actually suggested something. He was shaping up to be the kind of guy I’d fuck a couple of times before moving on, even, if… if it weren’t for the fact that I didn’t want anything to do with him right now.

“Ugh, Veronica, move,” I groaned, getting myself up to put myself together, clean myself up, do my hair and makeup, and it was a slog dragging myself out to get to the coffee shop, a cramped spot that looked like where a hipster artist would get a lavender oat milk latte, plants squeezed in around wood paneling and thick windowpanes. I ordered a cappuccino from a guy with the kind of moustache that said he was a career barista, and it came out with the most flawless latte art ever on it, and I guess I was feeling spiteful, because I bent down and sipped at it right there on the handoff plane just to ruin the nice design.

I sat at a table by the window, and I scrolled through Kelcey’s and my conversation, a distant pang in my chest ringing as I did.

I really needed to tell her already… evenI, Veronica Preston, the worst person alive, was starting to feel guilty. But… I didn’t want to screw with her project. I’d help her make the project work so they could see she was good at what she did, and then I’d tell her, and she’d tell me to go fuck myself, and I’d beable to put this behind me knowing I’d at least done something to make Kelcey’s life a little better even if I also fucked things up being the way that I was.

I was in the middle of scrolling idly when a guy’s voice from next to me said, “Veronica?” and I put the phone away in a rush.

“Kelcey?” I turned to him, scowling. “No, uh. What was it?”

He smiled awkwardly, hands in his pockets, looking down at where I was sitting. “That’s it, yeah.”

“Kelcey?” I didn’t remember her looking like this.

“Noah.”

Oh.No, uh.I laughed. “Right—my bad. Sorry, I was in the middle of something. Hey, Noah. Not a bad spot, it’s, uh…”Kelcey would like it.She loved hanging, creeping planters like this, and with the Christmas decorations up—Kelcey loved Christmas decorations so much. Nutcrackers in the windows—she always went wild for cute little nutcrackers, looking at the little details on each one. Who would have thought I’d have a soft spot for nutcrackers? “It’s… nuts,” I said, nutcrackers the only thing on the mind. The guy who wasn’t Kelcey blinked.

“Nuts?”

“Yeah, nutcrackers. Lots of them. They’re cute.”

He laughed. “Big nutcracker person?”

My ex was. That was a good way to screw up the chemistry for a potential hookup. “Love ‘em,” I lied. “Cute little mouths and the goofy hair. Big fan. Anyway, the coffee’s good here, so good call.”

“Right—I’m gonna grab something.” He pointed over his shoulder. “I know the barista on duty, so I’ll pass along the compliments about the nutcrackers.”

I was never setting foot in this place again. I’d benutcracker ladyfor the rest of my life. Disgusting.

Kelcey would like it, though. Not that thatmatteredto me, the number one most over-it person in the world when it came to Kelcey Huntington.

A message pinged from Kelcey, and I dropped to the bottom of the list, reading with excitement I’d never admit to bubbling in my chest as Noah went to get his coffee. She’d sent a picture of a big dinner spread, the whole thing a little… excessive, but Kelcey’s face was in the shot along with a bunch of her family, and I found myself staring helplessly at her face, squished in between two people and laughing with them. I missed the sound of her laughter… she had the cutest little laugh like the chime of a bell.

look at all the great food you’re missing!! don’t you wish you were in this house with a million other people squeezed in around one table asking invasive personal questions??

I laughed, settling into my seat, texting back.with you there?? there’s nowhere I’d rather be, so I’m absolutely jealous

ugh stopp you’ll get me embarrassed!!and then,is your evening going well?

Well, that was a question. Telling her I was out to grab coffee with a potential hookup to vet him and make sure he didn’t seem like a serial killer before I let him put his dick in me was probably weird. Especially if I mentioned the part where I was desperately phoning it in because I was distracted thinking about her. I took a picture of the window with the nutcrackers and sent it.

popped out for coffee and found this cute place! I bet you’d love these guys, they’re all in the Christmas spirit

omgggg I do love them!! steal one for me?? esp that red and blue one is so cutee look at his little hat!!