Page 88 of Dear John

“Because I got you a kitten? If I had known that would work, I would have done it sooner,” I muttered.

“Not because of the kitten,” she huffed. “Because of what it represented. It’s the other side of you, the part that loves me unconditionally and would do anything for me. Basically, the opposite of who you’re being the other half of the time.”

I was really confused now. “So, you forgive me?”

“I did, but then I walked in here.”

“Isla—”

“Don’t,” she snapped.

Everything inside me coiled tightly. It was like being on a mission, knowing something was about to go seriously wrong, but there was no stopping it.

“You lied to me.” Her voice was quiet and deadly. “Again.”

“I didn’t lie to you.”

“You told me no more secrets.” She walked over to the chair, flopping down. “You swore to me there would be no secrets, but then I walked in and heard the Senator talking about how my name is all over the news. What’s that about?”

Fuck, she heard that. Which meant she heard everything after that as well.

“Do you have anything to say about that?”

I didn’t even know where to start. I had planned to take care of all of this before she got back from the interview. I wasgoing to call Rae. I knew she would handle it even with Cash’s restrictions. But now it was too late to keep it from her.

“Someone leaked that I left Olivia. For you.”

“And?” she asked, her voice quiet.

“I planned to take care of it. I never wanted you to know. I was just trying?—”

“To protect me,” she cut in. “Yeah, I got that.”

Minutes passed where neither of us spoke. I wanted to explain, but at this point, she already knew everything I would say. She didn’t want to be protected and I couldn’t seem to stop doing it. I knew she would be furious with me, but my instincts kicked in and left no room for rational thought.

“Isla,” I finally said, breaking the silence. “Talk to me.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Something. Anything!”

“Okay, let’s talk about this intimate conversation you had with Olivia.”

Fuck, I should have kept my mouth shut.

“Or how about what happened with your brother?”

“That’s not up for discussion,” I bit out.

“With anyone or just me? Because it seems that Olivia already knows everything, and she’s only your fake fiancée. Or does that rank higher than a real girlfriend now?”

“She only knows because of the campaign.”

“And where does that leave me?” she asked, her eyes filling with tears. “You keep so many secrets, and there’s this huge hole forming between us. Why can’t you just talk to me?”

I gritted my teeth, glancing away from her. There were just things I didn’t want to talk about. Even now, faced with whatever may come between us, I just didn’t know how to tell her, how I could possibly tarnish the way she would see me.

“Just fucking tell me, Kavanaugh!”

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