Page 32 of Dear John

Again, her jaw dropped open. “Well…then what did you want to tell me?”

“I wanted to apologize and beg you profusely to forgive me for being such a fucking jackass. You see, I’m not used to having a woman in my life, and when I thought there was even a chance you would walk away if you knew what the senator was doing, I panicked and did everything possible to make sure I didn’t lose you. And that was the wrong fucking choice, and I know now how much I hurt you. It’s going to take time for you to put your faith in me again. To look at me like you used to.” I shrugged lightly. “Maybe you’ll never look at me like that again. But I hope someday you do because I can guarantee there will be a time when I’ll want to ask you to be my wife. And I’d really fucking like it if you said yes.”

She stared at me in complete shock. She let out a little squeak that only prompted a shrug from me.

“But I can try the whole proposal thing on one knee if you’d prefer that.”

I tried my best not to laugh as she struggled to swallow. Mortification crept over her face, but it wasn’t long before she pursed her lips. “Well, I suppose the apology will have to do. Maybe next time you should bring Jujyfruits.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I chuckled. “So…bed?”

“Well, I’m not going to wait out here all night for you to make me a bigamist.”

She stormed past me, but didn’t hide her smile fast enough. Yeah, I was getting back on her good side.

11

CASH

I paced the office,desperately trying to find a way to get the answers I needed. If Kavanaugh didn’t go through with the deal the senator made, I might never find out who was behind The Syndicate’s operations.

I needed to think like Rafe. If he was in my position, what would he do? Probably manipulate some more or threaten someone. What did I have on Kavanaugh? I grabbed his file out of my cabinet and went through everything I knew about him.

Military service—exceptional. I already knew about the senator. He was a smarmy fucker, but I wasn’t sure how I could use that against him. Kavanaugh didn’t give a fuck about the senator, so blackmail wouldn’t work. There was nothing in his history as far as mistakes he had made or accidents?—

I cocked my head in thought, remembering a night years ago when Kavanaugh got drunk off his ass and spilled the beans about something his father did, and how it affected his brother. I knew I did research on it afterward and shoved it…

I rushed over to my lockbox, digging the key out of my pocket. I kept files of shit I didn’t want revealed in here. It wasn’t the most secure location, but my previous spot had been blownup, and this little box was all that survived. I dug through the contents, finally seeing what I was looking for.

My heart hammered in excitement as I read through the file. This was exactly what I needed. I would get that information, and if Kavanaugh wasn’t willing to help me, I wasn’t above using this to sway him.

“You look like the cat that got the canary.”

Speak of the devil. I looked up, slapping the folder closed before stuffing it back in the lockbox and closing it. “Something I can help you with? I thought you’d be long gone by now.”

“I thought about the deal with the senator.”

Adapting Rafe’s casual approach, I nodded like it wasn’t a big deal. “And?”

“And I can’t do it.”

Disappointment surged through me. I really had hoped we could do this the easy way. The last thing I wanted was to burn bridges. After all, when shit went down, I needed a few good men on my side. And if Kavanaugh walked, chances were that Eli and Red would walk, too.

“Why am I not surprised?” I asked as I started shutting things down for the night.

“Cash, I know how badly you want this, but I can’t do it. Not just because of my personal relationship with the senator, but because there are others to consider.”

That was fucking hilarious. “Like Isla? You’ve been fucking her, what—a month, and she suddenly trumps the rest of us?”

His whole body went rigid at my words. I hit my mark. That was good.

“She’s not just some woman I’ve been fucking. And she’s already been through a bunch of shit that I wasn’t around for because of the first deal I made. And look at where that got us.”

“Yes, your father is a lying piece of shit,” I muttered. “But we already knew that.”

“Then you can understand why I can’t risk it again.”

I slammed a folder down on the desk and cut him a glare. “No, not particularly. If the senator is telling the truth, that means there’s someone even more evil out there just waiting to ruin someone else’s life. Dozens, maybe thousands of lives. Are you telling me you’re perfectly fine with whoever this is getting away with that shit? Aren’t those the people we’re supposed to defend?”

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