Page 33 of Dear John

“But that’s not what we’re doing, is it? Let’s be real, Cash. This isn’t about protecting others. This is about revenge, plain and simple. You want to take down anyone involved in Rafe’s murder. You don’t give a shit about defending the weak.”

“And I’m supposed to feel bad for your girlfriend, I suppose? Hold her hand and watch her cry because her husband tried to kill her, is that right? Or maybe you need me to help you protect her. How many men have you put on watching her? How often have you had guys driving past the house to make sure no one suspicious is hanging around?”

His jaw tightened in anger. “I don’t know, Cash. How many of us risked our lives when you went after Eva? Now you want us to go ten steps farther with Rafe.”

“When Isla is murdered, you can complain to me about how I use my resources. Until then, stick to what you know.”

A huff of laughter left his lips as he shook his head. “You really are a bastard.”

“So they tell me.”

“You’re more and more like Rafe every fucking day.”

Thank God for that because the only way I was going to win this was to be more like him. The old Cash had left the building. All I could do now was think like him and do what was necessary. There was no room for feelings in any of this. Which brought me to my next point.

“Tell me, Kavanaugh, did you consider what would happen now that the senator is running for the presidency?”

“In what way?” he asked, not sure where I was going with this.

“I mean, now that his darkest secrets are going to be revealed. Maybe even some you’re not comfortable with the world knowing.”

“I don’t give a fuck what secrets get out about the senator.”

“Even the secrets about your brother?”

His face drained of color as he stared at me. “That’s fucking low.”

I shrugged, not really caring at this point. “Your brother nearly killed a classmate. If word got out that the senator covered it up, paid off local LEOs to cover it all up and sent that poor woman to prison…that would look very bad. And your brother?—”

“Is already dead,” he snarled, trying to turn this around.

“Yes, he’s dead, but the girl is very much alive and, from what I understand, is living a life very beneath the one she should have had before your brother fucked it all up. I wonder what she would think about all this?” I said, peering thoughtfully at the ceiling. “It’s interesting the things people will do in anger. A woman stripped of what should have been a very promising career, all because of the ambitions of one man. I imagine she would do almost anything to destroy the lives of anyone even remotely related to the senator.”

I made eye contact and let him see all the hatred and anger simmering underneath. I barely had control of it anymore. The top was going to blow soon if I didn’t find a way to end this.

“Maybe she would even go after the senator’s other son in retaliation. And anyone he loved.”

His fists clenched hard at his sides. I’d never seen Kavanaugh quite so worked up as I did right now. He was either going toside with me or force my hand. Either way, I would get what I needed.

“We’re done,” he said, his voice low and cutting. “From this day on, you don’t speak to me ever again.”

“I guess you’ll have to say goodbye to those protection services for your girlfriend. OPS won’t be continuing to work with her. Someone will be by within the hour to dismantle everything.”

“All because I won’t help you destroy lives? Who are you?”

I glanced back up at him. “I’m exactly who I was meant to be.”

“No, this isn’t you. This is some fucked up version of Rafe talking. But he’s dead and?—”

“I am well aware that he’s dead,” I snapped. “I don’t need the reminder.”

“If you do this, we’re over. That’s it. There’s no going back.”

No going back. There never was in life and death situations. You were either all in or all out. And the choices we made defined the rest of our lives. My life changed the day I pulled the trigger. It set off a cascade effect that would inevitably end with the destruction of lives. It couldn’t be helped, and frankly, I had no desire to stop it.

“The moment I pulled the trigger, there was no going back.”

It only took a moment for him to decide. Then he turned and walked out the door. I picked up my phone and dialed my father. “We need to meet. I have something I can use.”

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