Page 160 of On the Double

She nodded, her eyes filling with tears. “Yes.”

“Is it—” I cut myself off, not sure I wanted to know the answer to the question. “Is it a boy or girl?”

She sniffled loudly, wiping her nose on her sleeve. “It’s a girl.”

I choked on a cry, pressing my lips to her stomach again. Fucking hell, how did I get so damn lucky. “It’s a girl,” I whispered.

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I felt tiny flutters pressing against my hands. “Harper,” I croaked, “Please…I know I don’t deserve anything from you…I’ve screwed up so much. But please…let me be part of this.”

“Is that all you want?”

At her question, my gaze jerked up to meet her eyes. “I want so much more,” I admitted.

“What made you change your mind?”

I slowly got to my feet, sliding my hand behind her neck. “When I found out you were gone…I had been drunk for two weeks straight, barely functioning. And then I showed up on Oliver’s doorstep with some flimsy reason I needed to see you. And when he told me you were gone, I just realized that I had done this to myself. With my excuses and little lies I told myself, I had pushed you away. The truth is, I was scared. So fucking scared because I felt more for you than anyone before in my entire life. And if you left me…”

I shook my head, unable to put into words what I was feeling on that day, and still felt right now as I stood in front of her. “I failed you in so many ways. And I can never forgive myself for the way I treated you. But I’m here now, and I love you so fucking much. I want this baby, and I know I might be terrible at being a father, but—I swear to God, I will not turn out like my old man. I will love you and protect both of you, if you’ll have me.”

Her eyes were filled with tears, but what they meant, I had no clue. Maybe she would kick me in the balls and tell me it was too late. Maybe she would break down and take me back. It was a toss-up.

But when she stepped toward me and slipped her hand in mine, I sucked in a breath, hoping it meant what I thought it did. I stared at our linked hands and prayed with everything in me that she would forgive me.

“I tried to hate you,” she whispered. “I really tried to pretend that I was better off without you.” She brushed the tears from her cheek and looked into my eyes. “I really tried to tell myself that loving you was pointless. But the truth is, even after everything you’ve done, I still want you.”

I held my breath, waiting for thebutthat I was sure was coming.

“Promise me right now, Edu. Swear to me that you will never speak to me that way again.”

“Never.”

“If you do, that’s it. It’s over. I can’t and won’t be treated like I’m not worthy of you.”

I nodded, remembering what Oliver told me. I would tear that story out of her later, but for right now, it was enough to know that she was giving me another chance.

“I swear to you, I will never make you feel like you’re nothing again.” I pulled her against my body and slowly moved in for the kiss that I’d longed for the past three months. Her soft lips touched mine and I was a goner. I sucked in a ragged breath, feeling the tears on my cheeks. I wasn’t ashamed in the least. This woman brought me to my knees and then made me whole. Whatever our past issues, they had to stay in the past. There was no way to move forward with the threat of my father’s ghost hanging over me.

“I’m yours, Harper. For the rest of our lives, I’m yours.”

41

HARPER

I woke feeling lighterthan I had in months. With so much pain and heartache constantly pushing down on me, it was a relief to let it all go. Our reunion didn’t go quite as I expected. There was absolutely no sex. Where I thought he would ravage my body, instead, he begged me for every scrap of information on how I was doing, what had happened with the baby, and how I had been doing. He ran his fingers down my spine, checking for any tender spots, then decided when we returned, we would visit the doctor—just to be sure I had no problems since I recovered from the accident.

It didn’t matter what I told him, he insisted I get checked out. After that, he insisted on going to bed, stating that I needed my rest. But it was him that fell asleep within minutes of laying down. His body was cocooned around mine and his breathing evened out just minutes later.

I studied his face, the way lines bracketed his eyes and how his cheeks almost looked hollow. It didn’t take long to realize it wasn’t only his face that had changed. It was as if he lost muscle mass everywhere. What used to be a hard body was now soft in spots I never expected. If I had to guess, I would say he hadn’t been sticking to his normal regimen. But I would be very willing to force him to work out and watch every pull-up to make sure he was doing them adequately.

I pressed my lips to his and got out of bed when he didn’t wake up. Since morning sickness had passed, I was just starving when I got up every day. I pulled on my robe and stepped into my fuzzy slippers to fight the cold seeping in from the floor. I thought Kansas was cold in the winter, but it had nothing on South Dakota.

I wasn’t even surprised when I saw FNG and Dash sitting at my kitchen table, helping themselves to every piece of food in my house. I sat down and stole the plate from Dash, eating one of his slices of toast.

“Hey! That was mine.”

“It’s actually mine. I paid for it.”

“But I cooked it.”

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