Page 52 of Baby Bodyguard

“If it’s not that, what is it?”

Her voice dropped to a whisper. “It’s the way she died. That’s why my birthday is sometimes tough to take. Why this one, in particular, is nearly impossible for me to deal with.” Sami’s hands collapsed into fists, the knuckles deathly white in the darkened room. “It’s not fair! She should have lived to become an adult. That party tonight should have been for her, not for me. But she didn’t live and we didn’t get to toast her coming of age. And it’s all because of me. Ikilled her, Noah. It’s my fault she died!”

Chapter 9

Noah swore softly. “I thought you said she was killed with your father. That it was a car accident.”

Sami tucked into a tighter ball, resting her chin on her bent knees, her dress a faint glow of red in the darkened room. “Nancy was such a sweet thing,” she commented. “Have I told you that already?”

Noah schooled himself to patience, aware she needed to explain what happened in her own way, in her own time. “No, you haven’t.”

“I absolutely adored her. Anything she wanted, Igave her.” Ever so gently she set Mr. Woof on the seat beside her. “This was the first birthday present I ever bought her. And the last.”

Understanding dawned. “That’s why you panicked when you saw Loner with it.”

“It was Nancy’s favorite toy. She took it everywhere. It’s the one memento I have of her.”

He had to get Sami to tell her story, to lance the wound that had festered for so many years. “Why do you blame yourself for Nancy’s death?”

“Because it was my fault.” A hint of anger rippled through her voice, but he let it go. At least she expressed honest emotion instead of the surreal calm that had gripped her earlier.

“Tell me more.”

Slowly, she removed her headband and tossed it aside, taking a moment to massage her temples before speaking again. “We were stopped at a red light.”

“We?”

“Didn’t I mention?” Her laugh escaped, barren of humor. “I was in the car, too.”

He fought to control his breathing, to keep from betraying his shock. “No. You didn’t mention that before.”

“Nancy had dropped Mr. Woof and I—” Her voice broke. “We were stopped. Ithought it was safe.”

He sat down beside her, drawing her into his arms. “Finish it, Sami. What did you do?”

“I sat in the front seat next to Dad. Nancy sat in the back. She’d dropped Mr. Woof and he’d rolled onto the floor of the car where I couldn’t reach. But I could reach Nancy. So I unfastened her seatbelt and told her to get the toy. Ithought she’d be okay. Iswear I did.” She curled into him, wrapping her arms around his waist, her breath shallow and rapid. “But then the light turned green. We started into the intersection. ‘Hurry,’ I said and… I remember my father’s shout. He swore. Isn’t that funny?He never swore. Iremember the hideous shriek of metal. And I remember the pain before everything went dark.”

“Another car hit you?”

She nodded. “It ran the red light and broadsided us. Iwoke up in the hospital. Babe was there.” Tears slipped down her cheeks. “But Nancy and Dad were gone.”

“It wasn’t your fault. You have to know that, right?” He gripped her shoulders. “You were eleven years old. It was a freak accident. You couldn’t possibly have realized what might happen.”

“Babe’s told me the same thing. And most days I even believe it. But this birthday…” She shook her head. “It just hit hard. Ifeel guilty celebrating what would have been a special day for her.”

“Tell me something, Sami. This baby business. How much of it has to do with your sister? Are you sure you’re not trying to close a circle or replace her in some subconscious way?”

“Of course there’s some of that,” she conceded. “I’d be foolish to deny it. But it’s not just Nancy. Iadore children. Ialways have. The only reason I don’t already have a half dozen is because I’m not married.”

“So when did you decide that a husband was no longer a necessary component?”

“Recently.” She pulled back, her expression settling into defensive lines. “There are lots of women raising children without benefit of husbands.”

“And a lot of them wish they didn’t have to. Wouldn’t you have wanted your father in your life for longer than you had him?”

“That’s not fair, Noah!”

He forced himself to ignore the rawness in her voice. He had to make her understand, to see how the choices she made in the coming months would affect the rest of her life—the rest of both their lives. “I’m not trying to make you feel worse, sweetheart. But don’t you get it? You’re still looking at this situation through the eyes of an eleven-year-old.”

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