Page 100 of Morning's Light

She found herself shaking her head as Israel continued to speak. “I really believe we can make a go of it.” Again with the beaming white, fake smile. Israel fingered the ring and held it out to her. “Don’t you think?”

“I don’t know what to think.”

Actually, she did, but she hesitated to say the words. Whatever had possessed Israel to make a proposal out of the blue? She doubted the idea came from his own mind. She very nearly felt the hand of the one behind him pushing Israel towards her. It would be a way to keep her close, always under the watchful eye of the Claddium. A wedding. A marriage to him. It felt like a prison sentence.

“Somehow you don’t seem too thrilled by the idea.”

“This is very…unexpected.”

Aisanna caught the surprised eep from the other side of the door, where no doubt tiny ears pressed close for information. Of course, her mother would be eavesdropping.

“Israel, what kind of thinking have you done to arrive at that conclusion?” she asked. Needing to hear the reasoning from his mouth, in his words.

He hesitated momentarily, which told her even more. The idea of a marriage proposal hadn’t come from him.

“I figured after the time we have between us, it was stupid not to make a move. We have chemistry together. We get along fabulously.” He said the words like he’d made a list beforehand—two columns, one positive and one negative. Then see which one filled faster. “Let’s unite our two magic households. With power like that, we could never go wrong. We would be the most highly respected couple in Chicago. Perhaps the whole Midwest.”

Power, of course. What else was there to occupy his thoughts but power. Israel gained his power through sex, through position.

“But what about love?” She had to know. Needed to hear what he thought.

The question puzzled him. He fingered the crystal decanter as though contemplating a third drink. “Love?”

“Yes, love.”

Israel pursed his lips, setting his glass down and crossing the room to kneel in front of her. He took her hand in his. His palm was slightly sweaty.

“We have mutual respect. That’s even better. Why would you be concerned with love?”

“Why wouldn’t you?”

It had never been important to her before, love. Hell, it hadn’t been on her list of priorities a week ago. It was an emotion she’d yet to experience outside of her family. The need for a clan of her own, a husband and children, had never appealed. Suddenly it was all she could think about. Vane and Cecilia had their family before it was ripped apart. Aisanna had been content with her sisters and brother, although now she’d lost two of them. Had lost the one man on earth who appealed to her on a deep level, understood her faults and appreciated her virtues.

“You’ve never asked me about love before,” Israel said, giving her fingers a squeeze.

“There’s a first time for everything.” She tugged until he let go. “I need to know how you feel, definitely, about love. The feelings between a man and a woman who decide to spend their lives together.”

Israel seemed to consider the idea she’d set before him. “I’m not sure about love, to be honest with you. I like you. I think we get on well enough. There’s affection. It has to be enough.”

“You don’t love me.” Somehow, the statement did not cause her pain. Quite the opposite, in fact.

That had him rising to his feet and stalking away, insulted. “Dammit, Aisanna, love never mattered to you before. You couldn’t give a crap. It’s what I like about you. But a man comes to a certain age and he needs to make a choice. He needs to act responsibly and get his personal life on track with his professional one. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

She did, absolutely. “Yes.”

“I’ve decided it’s time for me to act my age. Especially considering my family’s clout. I’m poised to take over for my father and he doesn’t want some lazy jerkoff who is more concerned with random sex than his future.”

“Undoubtedly.” Aisanna nodded, although her mind was already miles away. She deserved to be more than “the best choice” for someone, didn’t she? She deserved more. Maybe that was why she’d never fallen in love before. She’d been waiting for the right person to come into her life. Waiting to grow up in the right way to deserve him. She’d been waiting for Elon.

Israel poured himself two more fingers of brandy and flung it down his throat. Any more and he would be stumbling from the premises and risking embarrassment. Almost too late, she thought, knowing how he would feel when he heard her answer.

“So…what do you say? Do you want to give it a go? Accept this ridiculously expensive ring and be my wife?” He turned sloppily and signaled toward the ring box he’d placed on the coffee table. “After all, what better choice is there for people like us? Love.” He scoffed. “Love is for idiots. Duty is what matters. And don’t forget the sex, which is amazing.”

Israel waggled his eyebrows, a gesture that used to have her chuckling before falling into his arms. This time, it had no effect. She pictured instead a pair of bright blue eyes topped by dark brows, a slow shy smile, and a mop of brown-black hair.

The answering flip in her heart told Aisanna what she needed to know.

“Sorry. I’m going to have to pass.”

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