Page 193 of The Bone Season

‘Nick,’ I said, ‘what are you doing?’

‘I need to clear my head.’

‘In a gambling house?’

‘On top of it.’ He rubbed chalk between his hands, then tossed the pouch to me. ‘Come on, sötnos. You look like you’re about to fall asleep.’

‘Yes, well, I didn’t know I was giving my spiritandmy muscles a thrashing today.’ I let him boost me to the first ledge, earning a puzzled look from a soothsayer with a cigarette. ‘Why here?’

‘I found something.’

We reached the top without incident. Nick had been climbing buildings since he was young; he found footholds where none seemed to exist. Soon my boots fell on artificial grass. On my left was a small fountain – no water – and on my right, a bed of shrivelled flowers, killed by the cold.

‘What is this place?’

‘Just a roof garden,’ Nick said. ‘I thought we could make it our new bolthole. Perfect view of Leicester Square.’ He sat on the parapet. ‘Sorry to snatch you like that. It was getting … claustrophobic in there.’

‘Just a little.’

I sat beside him. We looked down at the square, its blue streetlamps.

‘I don’t know why he’s like this.’ Nick shook his head. ‘Jaxon is the most charming person I’ve ever met. He is the sun, and all of us lean towards him, like flowers hungering for his light … but there is a darkness and cruelty in him that I have never understood. He did have a tough childhood, but it’s no excuse. You suffered worse in Dublin.’

‘You didn’t have it easy, either.’ The wind ruffled my hair. ‘Nadine is braver than we are, to tell him what he is. She was right to call me a mouse.’

‘No.’

‘Yes. I should have spoken up for Zeke.’

‘Paige, you’re the mollisher. You’re not supposed to contradict Jax in public, or even in private,’ Nick reminded me. ‘Nadine knows that.’ He breathed out a puff of fog. ‘She needs to be careful. Jax will lose his patience one day. He hired Nadine because without her, he wouldn’t have got Zeke. She’s far more vulnerable than the rest of us.’

‘Nadine works so hard for him. She makes plenty of coin.’

‘I’ve been his friend for years, and I can’t tell you how his mind works.’ Nick shook his head. ‘He has them in a bind, and he knows it. They can’t go home. They probably can’t even go elsewhere in the citadel.’

‘He trapped them here.’

‘Yes.’ He rubbed his forehead. ‘At least we all still have each other.’

With a nod, I leaned against him, my head on his shoulder. Nick wrapped one arm around me with a quiet sigh.

‘Paige,’ he said, after a while. ‘Can I tell you a secret?’

‘Of course.’

Nick drew a deep breath, his chest rising.

‘I think I’m in love.’

I drew away from him, so I could see his face. ‘You’re … in love?’

‘Yes.’ He was gazing out at the citadel. ‘I’ve known for a while, but I’ve been too afraid to say. Jax doesn’t let us fall in love for longer than one night.’ He rubbed his brow. ‘I’ve never felt this way before. I’ve been … consumed by a person, back in Sweden. But this is different.’

Hearing this, I felt strange and detached, as if my spirit had finally come loose from my body. Nobody in the gang fell in love. Eliza had her flirtations and flings, but otherwise, none of us had the time.

‘Okay,’ I said. ‘Is it someone from work?’

‘No.’ Nick glanced at me. ‘Someone closer to home.’