Page 46 of Standing Still

I can see that doesn’t appease him. He can’t understand why I won’t just make a choice. He leans back, one elbow on the back of the booth, and looks out the window. There is so much he wants to say. It’s written all over his face, but he is holding back.

We’re saved from having to deal with it when Dawn comes in with Tom and two little tow-headed kids. When she spots us, her eyes light up, and she waddles over to us with a grin. She introduces me to her two sons, Logan and Jesse. They’re so cute. Logan is really shy and quiet. Jesse is loud and boisterous and clearly knows Ben, because they sit together and start telling each other jokes. He’s the younger of the two.

Dawn nudges me when the boys are all occupied.

“What?”

“You have a very satisfied yet vaguely confused look on your face.”

“You are full of it, you don’t know anything,” I turn away from her.

“Yep. You two did it, didn’t you? Look at him, all smiling and happy. Ben is never smiley. And you’re here together early on a Sunday morning.”

“Hush,” I warn her. Ben glances at us, but Jesse quickly distracts him again. “Just leave it. I’m trying to figure stuff out.”

“Could it be serious?”

“What? No… I mean. It was one night.”

Dawn arches a brow and if she wasn’t heavily pregnant, I’d nudge her right back.

“When are you due?” I change the subject, asking loudly, drawing her husband’s attention.

“She’s three days over,” he says, a worried look on his face.

“A due date can be out by two weeks either way.” Dawn waves a hand. “I’m not worried, per se. I do want the little volleyball out though, so if you’re listening,” she talks to her stomach. “Do mommy a favor and get a wriggle on.”

Everyone laughs. We finish up our food but hang around. We reminisce about high school. Ben keeps subtly prodding Dawn, bringing up happy memories. I can see what he’s doing. He shrugs at me when he realizes I’m watching him. The look on his face says all he’s doing is what he set out to do, convince me that Mystic isn’t the bad place I remember it to be.

I’m starting to think he’s right as I look around at the people with me, all laughing and joking, accepting me easily despite what I did. There is also Claudia behind the counter, who may have answers about what happened to my brother, answers I have wanted to questions for a long time.

“Dawn,” I draw her attention when Ben gets up to go to the bathroom and Tom is handling a spillage. She is happily letting Tom deal with the kids.

“Yeah?” she turns all her attention to me.

“I’m starting to think…”

“About taking the deal?” she asks, her eyes lit with hope.

It squeezes something inside of me, seeing her hopeful that I’ll be around more. It says a lot about the friendship she feels for me, that she would want me to be back here more. Since I left Mystic, I don’t think I ever had a friend quite like Dawn. Someone as loyal, forgiving, funny.

I have friends, a lot of them are mutual friends with Adrian and although we still see each other, it’s never been the same since we split up, even though Adrian and I remain friends. It isn’t the kind of friendship where we hang out.

Kevin is a really good friend, but also an employee. And I became a lot closer to Izzy and Jenna at the literary agency, Jenna particularly when we did the two tours together. Neither of them are people I would call to ask for advice about what to do here.

A lot of people in my current life have no idea who I really am, or anything about my past. Even my ex-husband. Part of me wonders if that may have contributed towards the demise of our marriage. He always tried to get more information out of me, was understanding when I gave the bare minimum, but seeing it now, from his point of view, I really did hold a lot of secrets.

Being back here, facing them, I see they’re not really as bad as I thought. I’m embarrassed about my relationship with my father. I’m guilty I never took the time to mend the relationship with him. To at least try to repair it.

I look at my old friend through different eyes and she smiles softly at me, like she can see it all coming together in my head. Ben comes back and sits down, accepting fresh coffee from Claudia, who came over to help clean up the table.

It may be too little too late, but by agreeing to this, I can at least do something for my dad. Save the company. I see that now.

“Is Caleb here Miss Claudia?”

I glance at Jesse as he looks up at her. Initially charmed by how cute he is calling her that until I look at Claudia and see the expression onher face.

“Oh no,” Claudia glances at me and quickly away. She gives Jesse a sweet smile. “He’s with his brother today, Jesse, while I work.”

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