Page 68 of Modern Romance Collection May 2024 Books 1-4

Erin pushed up out of the chair. She had to get away—again. She went towards the elevator, barely noticing that the restaurant was now empty.

The doors were open. She got in and stabbed at the buttons—any buttons—to shut the door and push Ajax back.

The doors started closing, but a hand stopped them and Ajax stepped in.

The doors closed. Erin backed away against a wall.

It finally rose up inside her—the truth of what she was feeling. But she couldn’t articulate it.

She said, ‘Please don’t say it again.’

The elevator wasn’t moving, but Erin was barely aware.

Ajax said, ‘What? That I love you? Well, I do—and I’m going to keep saying it until you believe me.’

Erin shook her head. ‘I don’t want to believe you. Because if I believe you then you’ll destroy me when you walk away. All this time I’ve been telling myself I’m worried for Ashling, but it’s me. I’m scared for me. Because I can’t go through it again. Watching my mother walk out broke something inside me.’

Ajax moved to come closer, but Erin put up a hand.

He stopped. ‘You’re not broken, Erin—far from it. Your mother abandoned you...that’s a traumatic event that would scar anyone, let alone a small child.’

‘I just walked away from my own daughter.’

Erin felt bile and shame. She’d literally repeated history.

Ajax shook his head. ‘You couldn’t walk away from your own child and you know it. This is very different.’

Erin’s insides cramped. ‘Is she okay?’

‘She’s fine—having dinner with Damia as we speak.’

Erin knew he was right. She would never be able to leave Ashling. She’d walked away from him, from his declaration.

Ajax said, ‘It was my fault. I should have waited. But I’ve been growing impatient... We’ve wasted so much time...nearly two years... I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Erin. I want us to have so much more than what we’ve experienced in our lives.’

She shook her head, emotion rising. She had nothing to hide behind any more. ‘I can’t love you... I’m too scared of being hurt again.’

Ajax closed the distance between them and this time Erin couldn’t stop him. He cupped her face in his hands and looked down at her with an expression she’d never seen before. Or maybe she had, and she’d told herself it wasn’t what she thought it was. Feared it was.

Love.The thing she wanted. The thing she feared.

He said, ‘It’s too late. You already love me. And I love you. I think I’ve loved you from way back...that second night. That’s why I let you go.’

Erin hiccupped. ‘You mean dumped me.’

Ajax winced. ‘You got too close. I could see myself becoming obsessed. I wasn’t ready. But I didn’t forget you. And I didn’t want anyone else.’

Erin sniffed. ‘You’re just lucky that I was occupied having your daughter and that someone else didn’t sweep me off my feet.’

Ajax went pale in the dim light of the small space. ‘Don’t even joke about that.’

A tiny, fledgling seed of hope was pushing out of the deep dark fear inside Erin. She said, ‘I won’t survive if you dump me again.’

Ajax shook his head, and now he looked fierce. ‘Losing Theo almost destroyed me. I’d never known love could be like that and I wanted nothing to do with it ever again. But you brought me back to life. And Ashling. You made me want to believe again. To trust again. I’m not going anywhere. And neither are you. We are bound together for ever. I want a family with you. I want to shower our children with all the love and security we missed.’

Erin bit her lip and took Ajax’s hand, bringing it to her belly, under her shirt. His eyes widened and she said, ‘I don’t know for sure, but if my symptoms are anything to go by I could already be pregnant again.’

Ajax’s hand spread across Erin’s belly. His voice was hoarse. ‘Truly?’

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