Page 54 of The Butcher

“Me. Or. Her.”

“You seriously expect me to choose?”

I keep staring, my jaw clenched as I crack my neck.

My heart is racing right now, beating so hard it might pound out of my chest. I can see that he’s made his decision, and even though deep down I know why, it doesn’t feel like anything but getting stabbed in the back with a fucking machete.

That’s why he doesn’t respond.

Nash doesn’t say anything at all, just holds my stare and shows me what we both know he’s thinking by the look on his face.

He loves me, he’s angry with me, and he’s all but begging me to love Indy the way they do; the way I love Nash and Clayton.

He doesn’t need to say any of that because I’ve always been able to read him like a book, but it still hurts. It hurts us both, and I don’t need to stand here and wallow in that pain.

“Lock up when you leave,” I grunt as I turn on my heel. “Then give the key to Nan.”

I blow through the back of my shop, sick to my stomach and fighting everything inside of me telling me to turn around and go to him, to fall on my knees in front of Nash and beg him to forgive me. To plead with him to still love me, then help me do what I should have done the second I realized Indigo was my match.

But I don’t.

I move quickly and efficiently, entering my office and shutting everything down before I slam my phone on the desk, and pick up my keys and wallet. I’m out the back door before Nash makes it all the way down the hall, and by the time he’s in the doorway, I’m already taking off through the parking lot.

Fuck this.

Fuck all of this matching bullshit, this mating shit that everyone has always put so much importance on.

I don’t need any of it.

I takea deep breath as my hand lands on the knob, the door for the tattoo shop looming in front of me like some bad fucking omen.

How am I supposed to tell Clayton what just happened? That I fucked up our relationship with Bramley by handling him while I was so goddamn mad I could cry? How do I tell him I ruined everything we’ve had for almost two decades by being honest with our alpha about…

The way we’re going to betray him.

I know that’s what Bram was thinking, just like I know why he’s refusing to accept Indy.

But I didn’t think it would come down to this.

He’s been worse than ever; it was getting bad right after Clayton’s accident but these last few months, it’s been unbearable for all of us, and I just pushed Bramley to his breaking point. A point I don’t know if he’ll come back from.

I should have waited like Clay said.

Give him the chance to be around Indy, let Bram warm up to her some, to see that this isn’t the same as what happened all those years ago. He needed to see for himself that he wasn’t going to bond with her, to bond the four of us, then lose Indy the way his dads lost his mother.

If I would have waited, it might not have been this bad.

I didn’t, though, and now I don’t have a fucking clue about what happens next.

“Nash, look!” Indy gets up from the chair she was sitting on as soon as I walk in, quickly making her way to me with a breathtaking smile on her face. “Clay gave me a tattoo.”

“Oh?” I arch a brow as I hang up my coat, trying not to let this stupid fucking self-caused pain show. “Did he now?”

She nods her head and holds her hand out to me, specifically her middle finger, before our bond becomes a bigger issue than it just was. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I lean down a little, sighing when I see the tiny heart in between the second and third knuckles.

“You’re lying.”

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