Page 19 of Phoenix

“We didn’t hear you come in, honey,” Mrs. Aggie said.

“What is going on here?” Phoenix shouted.

“Why aren’t you at work?” Riggs challenged. He thought that he’d have until midnight before she’d be home. Instead, she was back within an hour of leaving.

“Savage didn’t need me tonight. Things were slow because of this crazy storm, and he sent me home before it got worse,” she said. They were catching the tail end of a hurricane that was dumping a ton of rain on Huntsville. He was glad that Savage had sent her home to be safe, but hearing his conversation with her grandmother was going to cause him a lot of trouble.

“I overheard you talking about Lydia,” she admitted. “Is there something wrong?”

“No,” her grandmother said.

“Well then, how about one of you tell me what’s going on here?” she insisted.

“I think that I should be heading home,” Mrs. Aggie said. He wanted to tell her to stay—to have his back, but he didn’t. She was in favor of him marrying Phoenix and adopting Lydia and that was all that was important. Phoenix was the only person who could fill him in about her past, and he was going to just have to ask her about it and let the chips fall where they may.

He waited for Mrs. Aggie to kiss them both goodbye and leave before asking Phoenix about her past, but then, he just seemed to blurt out his question. He could tell that he had taken her by surprise, but he hoped that this time, she’d finally tell him what happened.

“Your grandmother was here because I needed answers,” he insisted.

“Answers about what?” Phoenix asked. He could tell by the look on her face that she already had a good idea about what they were talking about.

“I asked her if she knew who Lydia’s father is,” he admitted. She looked mad enough to spit nails and he should have given her a second to calm down, but he didn’t.

“She doesn’t have a father,” Phoenix insisted.

“Bullshit,” he spat, “she has a father, you just don’t want him in her life, right?” he asked. Phoenix looked like a caged animal, pacing his kitchen, and he knew that he should have given her some space, but doing so would never get him the answers that he was after.

One thing that he had learned about Phoenix was that she could fight with the best of them. He just hoped like hell that she wouldn’t give him too much fight because he didn’t know howfar he’d be able to push her before he’d break down and give up. He was sure of one thing though—she was worth whatever fight she was about to give him.

Phoenix

Phoenix stood quietly by the kitchen table, trying to figure out her next move. Telling him about her past wasn’t something that she was ready to do yet. “Why can’t you just tell me who Lydia’s father is?” Riggs asked. That was a question that she didn’t want to answer. How was she supposed to tell him that she had to move in with the bartender from the strip club she worked at because she was down on her luck and living on the streets? Hell, that was probably the only part she could tell him. But he wouldn’t be happy until she told him about the night that she got pregnant with Lydia. It was a night that she’d like to forget, but she couldn’t because it did give Phoenix her daughter.

“Because I’m ashamed,” she admitted. She hadn’t shared much about her past with Riggs. The only thing he knew was that she got pregnant when she was eighteen, and then had Lydia. But so many bad decisions had led to her daughter being born.

“You don’t have to feel that way around me, honey. You can tell me anything—I’m not going anywhere,” he promised. She had a feeling that he might just change his mind once she shared the truth with him.

She sat down on the kitchen chair in his kitchen and looked down at her hands, pretending to be straightening the ring on her finger. Phoenix knew that she wouldn’t be able to look Riggs in the eyes and tell him about her past.

“After I left Aggie’s place when I was sixteen, I ended up on the streets. I needed to make some cash, and I heard that strippers made good money,” she whispered, chancing a glance up at him to see his reaction.

“So, you did what you had to do to take care of yourself,” he said as though it was no big deal that she took her clothes off while dancing for strangers.

“I did, but you need to hear the rest of the story,” she insisted. “You might change your mind about being with me once I’m finished,” she said.

“Not a chance,” he assured, “but I’m listening.” He sat back in his chair and let her have the floor.

“I ended up getting evicted when the club was raided, and I was out of work for a few weeks. The owner of the club reopened after having to pay some fines, and I was able to go back to work, but it was too late for me to catch up on the rent for my shitty little apartment. The bartender at the club offered to let me crash on his sofa for a month or two until I could get back on my feet, and I took him up on his offer. Living with him was my last option and I didn’t want to ever sleep on the streets again.”

“Understandable,” Riggs said.

“Yeah, but I would have probably been better off on the streets. I had been living with him for about a month, when I woke in the middle of the night to find him standing over me, watching me sleep. That was when he offered me one thousand dollars to sleep with him. I really needed the money, so I agreed. I was desperate.” She sat back and covered her face with her hands. She was so ashamed that she could ever do that with any man, but she had.

“I got two things out of that night—cash to get back on my feet and my daughter,” she said. “When I found out that I was pregnant, I had already taken off and was long gone from that asshole. I never went back to that life, promising my unborn daughter that I’d never do anything to embarrass her, so I got a small apartment, and when my life fell apart again, I called Aggie and asked if I could come home.”

“I’m sorry all of that happened to you, but none of it changes how I feel about you, honey,” Riggs said. He reached for her hand, and she pulled it back. Phoenix wasn’t ready for him to be so forgiving, since she had not forgiven herself yet. That was going to take some time—time spent alone, and she was sure that Riggs wasn’t going to like that.

“It changes how I feel about myself,” she whispered. “Lately, I’ve been thinking how I can be the best version of myself—for Lydia, and I think that the answer is for me to be alone for a bit. I need time to actually process what I did and come to terms with it so that I can forgive myself. Do you know what I mean?” From the look on his handsome face, he didn’t understand any of what she was saying.

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