Page 20 of Phoenix

“I don’t understand any of this,” he growled. “Especially the part about you being alone to figure everything out. You did what you had to do to survive and to take care of your daughter. No one would ever fault you for that.”

“Well, I don’t plan on explaining any of this to anyone else,” she insisted.

“You haven’t told Mrs. Aggie?” he asked. Her grandmother had never asked her about Lydia’s father or Phoenix’s time away. It was almost as if she pretended that none of it ever happened. When Phoenix came back home, Aggie picked up as though no time had passed at all, and that worked for her because her past was the last thing that she wanted to talk to her grandmother about.

“No,” she breathed, “when I got home, she just picked up where we left off and didn’t ask questions. That worked for me because I didn’t want to talk about it. I still don’t,” she whispered.

“So, you would have never told me unless I pressed you for answers?” he asked. She wouldn’t have told him anything. Now that the truth was out there, it opened up a new can of worms that she was going to have to shove back into the can, and that was going to take some time.

“No,” she admitted, “I would have never told you, Riggs.”

“I’m glad that you did,” he breathed.

“But now, I’m going to need some time,” she said. “I need you to give me some time and space.”

“How long?” he asked.

“I’m not sure—until I can work all this out in my head. Everything is all jumbled up right now.” Rehashing her past had clouded her mind and she needed to clear out all the bad to make room for some good. The question was, would it be unfair of her to leave Riggs hanging around, waiting for him, or should she let him go?

“I can give you some time, honey,” he promised. “I’m just not sure that I can give you space. You and Lydia practically live here with me now. What am I supposed to do when we pass each other in the hallway?”

“I have a solution for that,” she almost whispered. She hated doing this to him—to them both, but there was no other way. “Lydia and I will go back to Aggie’s and stay with her for a while,” she said.

“Wait—you’re moving out?” he asked.

“I am,” she breathed. “I told you that I need time and space and moving back over to Aggie’s will give me both.”

“You’ll be back, right?” he asked. This was the part where she was going to break both of their hearts.

“No,” she said, “I think that we should break up. I don’t want to keep you waiting for me when I might never be ready to come back. You’re a good man Riggs, and I don’t deserve to be with someone like you—not yet. You shouldn’t be tied to me when you could be with anyone you want. Find a woman who deserves you.”

She swiped at the tears that spilled down her cheeks and he reached for her again. Phoenix pulled her hand back and shook her head. “Please don’t touch me,” she whispered, “I don’t think that I’ll be able to do this if you touch me, Riggs. Please, just let me walk away.”

“I can’t do that, honey. I’m in love with you and I want Lydia to be my daughter. That was the whole reason why I asked you about her father. I didn’t need any of the details of your past, but I’m so happy that you trusted me with them. Don’t shut me out now, Phoenix. Let me help you through this. Let me be the shoulder you can lean on, but don’t leave.”

“I have to, Riggs. You deserve better than me,” she insisted.

“That’s bullshit,” he shouted, “I don’t want anyone else, Phoenix. There isn’t anyone better for me. You’re the only one for me—I just need for you to stop this shit about leaving and give me a chance to prove it to you.”

“I—I can’t, Riggs. I’m sorry.” She turned and grabbed the bags that she had packed earlier. In such a short time, she and Lydia had practically taken over his home with their stuff. “I’ll pick up the rest of our stuff later.” Phoenix took Lydia’s hand and pulled her along to the door. She walked to the front door, not bothering to look back because the last thing she needed to see was the heartbreak on Riggs’ face. If she did, she’d change her mind and right now, that wasn’t something that she could do to either of them.

Riggs

Riggs had spent three weeks looking out his bedroom window, hoping like hell that he’d catch a glimpse of Phoenix. She had started keeping her blinds closed twenty-four-seven. He had called Phoenix every day; his call going straight to voicemail. Each message was the same—he told her how much he loved and missed both her and Lydia. At first, he actually had hope that she’d return his calls, but after two weeks passed, he basically gave up hoping for something that might never happen.

He started calling Mrs. Aggie every day, hoping that she’d be able to tell him something new. Yet every day she told him the same thing—Phoenix needed time and asked him to give her some space. He could hear the regret in Mrs. Aggie’s voice when she’d give him that message day after day. It was the same anguish he felt when he heard it. Phoenix had ghosted him, but tonight, that all was going to change. Tonight, he was going to take matters into his own hands. If she wouldn’t come to him or return any of his calls, he’d just have to go to her. He had heard from Vixen and Juno that Phoenix really liked the Royal Harlots and was planning on patching in. That meant that she’d beattending every important function at the club, and he planned on being there tonight.

He had tried to talk to her while she was working, but she had Savage warn him off, telling him that while Phoenix was on the clock, Riggs wasn’t to bother her in any way. If he wanted a beer or something to eat, he could talk to her, but anything else would get him booted from the club. Riggs had known Savage well enough to know that he meant every word he said, and his club was too important to him to risk it, so he kept his mouth shut every time they were within talking distance. Every time she made eye contact with him, he wanted to beg her to come back to him, but he knew that wasn’t what she wanted.

His big plan was to show up at the club when it was the Harlots night to use the bar. She didn’t work on the Harlots night and that would give him the chance to talk to her. He had driven down to the bar, parked in the back of the lot, and sat there like a coward, trying to figure out his next move. Should he have her friends bring her out to the parking lot so he didn’t interrupt their meeting, or should he walk in there and demand to talk to Phoenix? Either way, he was sure that she was going to be pissed.

He was about to give up being a chicken and just go into the bar when someone banged on his window. He turned to find Phoenix standing there, mean mugging him and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or cry. It had been so long since he had seen her, he thought that she might be an apparition. Riggs had seen her in his dreams every night, but seeing her in the flesh was so much better.

He rolled down his window and he could smell her signature perfume that usually drove him wild. “Hey,” he breathed.

She pointed her finger at him, and he wanted to reach out to her but knew she wouldn’t allow it. “Don’t you dare, ‘Hey’ me,”she insisted. “I thought that you agreed to give me time and space to sort things out,” she shouted.

“Yep, and I did that, but I’ve missed you,” Riggs said.

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