Page 138 of Muted

His other hand joins the soft petting and I barely notice when he slides my shirt up until he cups the base of my head to lift me as he slips it over my head.

I peek at him once I’m free of my shirt, his eyes only briefly meeting mine before he shifts on the bed to work my shorts down. His touch is clinical, yet gentle, and he doesn’t take advantage of the fact that I’m quickly becoming naked in front of him. Chester is focused as he slides my shorts down my legs, easing them over my torn-up ankles from the ropes.

Tossing my clothes across the room, I know it’s time for me to get up. Before I have a chance to lift myself from my bed, he moves to my side and slides his arms under my knees and upper back. “I’ll do it,” he murmurs.

Lifting my body with all the care in the world, he cradles my body to his chest as he walks us into my bathroom. “I’m going to lean you down and put your toe under the water so you can check the temperature. If it’s too warm or too cold, let me know and I’ll adjust it.”

Squatting down, he tilts me slightly and water rushes over my toes. There’snoholding back the slow gust of air from my lungs at the rejuvenating heat that seeps into my ice-cold foot. With a chuckle, he lowers me into the tub. Keeping his arm around my back, my waist and legs submerge under the heat. My head falls back against the rim of the tub and I can literally feel my muscles slowly unwinding second by second.

“Feel good?” he asks. Ialmostanswer, but I don’t need to. He knows it does and I can hear the smile in his voice. “I’m going to move my arm and grab the wash. I know this feels personal, but I promise to keep my hands strictly professional. I just know how much more human you’ll feel after getting showered.”

Freeing his arm, I hide the wince when my back comes into contact with the tub, and I stretch my toes to reach the other end to prevent me from slipping down. There are definitely some shortcomings when it comes to being height restricted.

Chester lathers my body wash in his hands, and just before he touches, he informs me, “I don’t want to use a washcloth because of the scraps on your skin, so I’m going to use my hands and go fairly quickly so it’s done.”

Dropping my chin to my chest, I inhale sharply when his hands wrap around my upper arm, his fingers brushing my side, before he works the lather into my skin down to my fingers. Cupping water once he’s finished, he rinses away the soap bubbles before re-lathering his hands to wash my other arm.

He does the same for my legs, lifting each one out carefully, and the corner of my lip tilts when his fingers tickle between my toes. Once again, he rubs soap in his hands and then rests both palms against the side of my neck before slowly working it into my skin.

My muscles unclench under his fingertips as he silently slips his hands to my shoulders and then chest. He doesn’t spend extra time on my breasts, but I can’t stop my body’s reaction at his touch, my nipples pebbling hard in the cool air once the heat of his hands disappear to wash my stomach and sides.

Rinsing me free of the bubbles, he places one palm between my breasts and slides his other against my back. “I’m going to lean you forward so I can get your back.” A soft groan whispers from me as my body is curled forward and he whispers, “I’m so sorry, babygirl. I’ll be quick.” And he is. Within a minute, he’s laying me back, pulling my hair free, so it’s not pinned between my body and the tub.

“Here’s a cloth. It’s already soaped, but I suspect you might want to get those last spots yourself?”

I know what he’s asking, but my mind is so relaxed to the point that I feel like I’m in a pleasant dream where nothing and no one can hurt me. I don’t want to move my arms, so I shift my legs apart slightly, barely registering his quick intake.

Grasping my leg under my knee, he lifts it out of the water and reaches down, letting his fingers slide through my folds and back as he quickly washes me. It’s perfunctory, without extra touches to arouse me, but it still feels amazing, nonetheless.

Once he’s finished, he lets some of the water out and cradles the back of my neck once more. “I’m going to put your legs up on the edge of the tub and slide you down so I can wash your hair.”

With most of the water gone, I shiver as my skin chills, now exposed to the cooler air. He’s quick as he washes my hair, rinses, then conditions and does the same. Between steps, he pours water over my body to keep me warm and then helps me sit back up once he’s wrapped the strands in a towel.

“I’m going to fill this back up and let you soak for a bit,” he whispers. “The guys are back in the other room. Let me help them, but I’ll leave the door cracked. I won’t be gone long.”

Leaving me alone, he steps out and shuts the door, keeping a sliver open just as he said. I can hear their low whispers, but none of their words make it to me.

It hits me all at once, the separation. Them out there and me in here. Although Vance was simply an employee to Theo and Chester when I first showed up, they’re a unit now. Unified and working together, a common goal that’s earned respect from each other. But their goal is only going to lead them down a road of disappointment.

Chester’s ministrations while washing me loosened all of my muscles, so when a keening cry breaks free, it startles me with how loud it explodes from my throat; its path finally free. The sound cutting through my mind’s self-imposed silence, and I can’t tug it back. I can’t keep it to myself anymore.

Great, heaving sobs rack through my body, jerking me in the water until I’m scrambling to grab the sides, so I don’t slide under. My crying is so loud that I don’t hear anyone come back into the bathroom, startling me when I feel Theo’s thick arms lift me from the tub and another person covering me with a towel.

I don’t know what any of them are saying to me, but I hear the worry and panic, which only makes me feel more terrible.They don’t deserve this. I’ll only bring them down.

My body is lowered to my bed, and I bury my face into my pillow as I let my heart break. I’ve lost the one thing I had control over. I’ve lost my ability to stay silent and I don’t know how to handle that.

Chapter 40

Surrender

Theo

It’s been three days since my girl broke down in the bathroom, and if she wasn’t responsive before, now it’s like she’s a goddamn ghost.

Chaz hasn’t given up in his caretaking. He’s picked her up and given her baths every single day. Brushes and dries her hair before braiding it so it’ll stay out of her face. I feel sick as I watch him carry her back into her bed, her body dead weight as she stares out the window. Everything is snow covered right now, a storm no one was expecting hit the day after we got her back here, so we’re stuck for another day or two.

Not that I’m complaining. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. Well, that’s not true. I’d rather be wrapped around her in bed, but sitting next to her is second best.

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