Page 137 of Muted

“That day in the bar, when I walked in and saw you and Cliff… I lost my mind at the idea that you had deceived me.” His words cut me and I start to shift, but he prevents me from pulling away by tucking a leg over mine. “Just wait. I want to explain first, then beg for your forgiveness. You don’t have to give it to me, but I need to say the words to you.”

A shuddering gasp rattles my chest, but I don’t fight him again, so he continues. “I knew your history, babygirl,” he whispers. “Well, I know some of it and by that day, I knew it had something to do with Walston. I also knew that you were running, terrified for yourself and your family. So, when I walked in, witnessing cash being exchanged between the two of you, I was furious.”

He runs his lips over my shoulder again and stays there, speaking softly. “Not because I thought you were just trying to take money out of greed, but that you felt you had to hide it from me. That you had confided in Cliff. That you didn’t come to me for help, and I was too blind to see it happening. And maybe a bit that I didn’t feel like your person.”

Leaning up, I feel him hover over me staring down at my face, maybe searching for a reaction, but he won’t find one. Like I said, in the end, it won’t mean anything. I’m no good for him. Foranyof them, so he’s wasting his breath.

Chester climbs over me carefully so that he’s nose to nose with me. His eyes roam over my face slowly. I stay focused on the flakes falling even heavier now, just over his shoulder. “It’s really blowing my mind that you’ve been wearing contacts all this time. You are always beautiful, but like this, you’re breathtakingly stunning.”

I don’t know why I ever wore those contacts. In my head, I knew that it’d do nothing to actually hide me. It’s less of a hidden identity than superman and his damn glasses. But there was a comfort in it that gave me just a touch of safety.

There’s no use hiding the tears from him at this point. He’s inches from me, so when another round of sorrow overtakes me, he’s quick to catch the fresh tears with his lips.

I shudder, feeling disgusting like this in front of him. Aunt Elaine helped me clean up as best I could at the hospital, but I haven’t had an actual shower yet. That makes all of this so much worse.

“I know you had no intention of keeping the money. It’s obvious now what you had been trying to do and why you didn’t tell me about Cliff. He hung the threat of Walston over you, which he still managed to succeed with. So, for that, I’m so fucking sorry, Susu. I knew some of what he was doing, and I know you. It’s unforgiveable for me to have immediately assumed the worst, but I’m begging you to try, anyway.”

I close my eyes to hide from him. Even if I give him this, what would it do? It’ll only keep him here longer. He needs to get back to his life. Open the bar up again. Deal with Cliff. Vance needs to find a new partner and start practicing as soon as possible. And Theo needs to get the new partnership with Chester worked out. They have so much to do, so much theyneedto do. They’re wasting time here.

“Do you know what my biggest regret is?” he asks after a few moments of quiet, when he must realize I’m not going to respond.

His finger touches my bottom lip, and he slides it down to part my mouth. My eyes open slowly to find him staring at where he’s playing with the tiny crease in the center, smoothing the pad of his finger over it before tracing the shape of my mouth.

“I stopped you from talking to me. I know you started to sing to me in the car, but I suspect that was your way of soothing some of the tension I was feeling at different moments. Those weren’tyourwords. I’m fucking gutted that you were finally going to give them to me, and I silenced you.”

His voice cracks on those last few whispered words, my heart breaking right along with it. The worst part is that hediddo that. But so has everyone else at some point, so it’s not as awful to me as he might feel his sin is.

As he lays in front of me, touching me like this, I can feel the way his chest is rising and falling, slowly picking up in speed until he’s practically panting. Gripping my chin, he forces me to look at him.

“Please don’t shut me out, babygirl. I’m not fucking leaving here without you, so whatever is going on in that beautiful little head of yours needs to stop telling you things that are untrue. I see it written all over your face. The blame for yourself, the sadness, the fear.”

Cupping my face, he slides his nose against mine and brings his mouth to the corner of my lips. “Give all of that shit to me and let me hold it for you. Even if it’s just for a bit.” Then he kisses me, my mouth lax and unresponsive under his.

“So, Elaine and Ronnie are sleeping. We convinced them to take a much-needed nap. They’ve been exhausted. Vance and Theo ran out to grab a few things, which just leaves you and me.”

I hear the disappointment in his voice that he’s trying to hide under false cheerfulness, but all his words do is make me feel guilty for exhausting my family. I’m glad he told me because I was going to see if Aunt Elaine would help me bathe, so I’ll just force myself to wait a little longer.

Looking over my shoulder at the small bathroom attached to my room, I decide I can at least do a bit of freshening up without her.

“You’re eyeing the bathroom like you’re starving for something. Would you like to take a bath? Or help showering?”

I’ve done my best to avoid interacting with any of the guys, but his offer shocks me enough that my widening eyes fly back to his face. When he smiles this time, there’s a playfulness in the twisting of his lips as he fights his laughter.

Since I woke in the hospital, my entire body has been on fire. Every muscle cramping and bruised as if a truck rolled over me. Just standing up sends licks of fire up my spine, forcing me to arch my back against the pain.

Chester eases his body off the bed and when I attempt to roll onto my back, he frowns when my face grimaces at my movement. “Let me help you, baby,” he murmurs. “I’m going to go start the water and then I’ll come get you.”

Blinking at the ceiling, I listen to him as he shifts around in my bathroom, starting the bath water and opening cabinets to pull out towels, I assume. I know I should tell him no, but I’m torn. If I respond, then he’ll feel inclined to continue trying to engage me. But I want to feel clean more than I want to breathe.

Closing my eyes, I will myself to move. I can make it there if I just… Christ, just lifting my arm makes my body scream in agony. I bite my lip to hold back the sob of frustration.

Fuck HIM. Fuck him and his unrighteous fury.

“Don’t try to move. I’ll help you,” Chester whispers, my eyes flying open because I didn’t hear him approach the bed again. Watching my face for signs of distress, he bends over me to tug my blankets down my body, exposing my bruises to the air. Even the soft breeze from my fan scratches at my skin and a shudder rolls through me.

My aunt managed to get me changed into a tank top and soft shorts when we got home, so when his eyes fall to skim over my skin, I feel overexposed laid out like this. It’s not that I’m ashamed for Chester to see my body. I’m ashamed for him to see the evidence of whathedid to me.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he breathes out. Shutting my eyes against his look of pity, I disassociate from the discomfort of my injuries until his warm hand settles over my lower stomach. The heat spreads into me, stopping my shivering from the coolness of the room, and I melt into my bed.

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