Page 77 of Laugh

I know I said that I wasn’t going to have another meltdown, and I’m really not, but I can’t stop the few tears from escaping when I beam at them. “He was happy. Happy with his life and you and me and his job. Everything. He was happy and content.” I look down at the book and my smile grows even bigger. “He said that the thing he loved most about me was my light inside. I made his life bright and beautiful.”

Ialmostgiggle when I add, “He alsoreallydoesn’t like Deborah.”

Addie snorts out a laugh and says, “Him and me both.” She crosses her arms and glares at the door. “They’re out there, you know. Have you even seen your dad?”

Shaking my head, I wait for the hurt to hit me, but it doesn’t. There’s just this resigned acceptance that it is what it is. I can’t make my dad feel the way I want him to.

“He sent her a text,” Beau snaps out. Apparently, they’re both on the ‘fuck Haddie’s dad’ train today. What I don’t want is any dramahere. Not today.

“It doesn’t matter. What we’re all going to do is be kind, give hugs, and avoid, avoid, avoid like the plague for the O’Brien’s.”

Addie’s mumbled, “Fine,” makes Beau laugh and these two actually high-five each other in solidarity.

Rolling my eyes, I spin around and call out, “Let’s get out there.”

“Wait, baby. Addie, would you give us a minute?” Beau pulls me back toward him as she waves us off and slips through the door, closing it again behind her. When he looks down at me, I marvel again at how far I have to tilt my head back to peer up at him when we stand like this.

“Your mom did every woman a disservice by breeding you to be so ridiculously tall, you know that?”

Smirking, he says, “She only screwed you over. Although, the argument could be made that your parents fucked you over by making you so short. No one else matters to me, though. Are you sure you’re doing okay today? I know they would understand if this is too much for you.”

I soften at how worried he is about me, and I wish there was a way to reassure him. There may be a niggling doubt way far back in my mind that I’m not going to make it through this. But the need to do this forhim, and for his parents, outweighs the need to run back to Beau’s bed and hide under the covers.

“I feel okay right now. I want to do this, though. Besides, I could talk about him for hours.” Playing with his tie, I straighten it out, then run my hand down his chest. “Thanks for putting up with me. This has been… a lot.”

His arms wind around me, and I breathe in his scent when I lay my head against him. “You’re easy to put up with.” Beau pauses, then sighs when I don’t laugh. “I’m going to get you to laugh, and soon.”

I feel terrible because I know he’s taking it like a personal failure. The urge to tell him again that I’ll be fine dies in my throat because it doesn’t feel like I will be.

Without responding to him, I pull away and take his hand so we can go back out into the crowd. Most of the people have wandered inside the sanctuary where the service will be held, but I come to a stop when I see my family. They’re all standing around the poster boards, looking at all the photos of Marcus from the day he was born until just a couple of months before he died.

Jonathon sees me first and immediately walks over to us, pulling his hands from his pockets as he gets close to drag me into a hug. “Hey sis, fucking sucky ass day, huh?”

“You can’t swear in church,” I scold him, enjoying his warmth.

“Language,” my dad’s voice chimes in.

A quick glance at Beau, who is still gripping my hand, shows me he’s still pissed as hell at him. “Nice to see you, finally,” he says. I have to say, his passive aggressiveness is kind of hot.

My dad blinks up at him in surprise, then holds out a hand. “Beau. It’s nice to see you too.” Dad then looks at me, “How you doing, pumpkin? I’m sorry about your friend.”

I wrinkle my nose, bothered by his seemingly fake words. It’s like he’s forgotten that he’s known Marcus for the last quarter of a century.

Deborah’s grating voice interjects. “Very terrible, honey. It’s just so sad, losing their only son in such a tragic way. We’re all just torn up for them.”

Snorting, I study her. “I’ll bet.”

“Harriet, do you think there’s anything they need?” she asks, ignoring my comment. “I would love to help in any way I can. All of this really makes you realize how important family is.” Her statement hits me hard, but not in a good way. I take a step back, hitting Beau when she moves toward me like she’s going to give me a hug.Nope. Not happening, especially today.

“Come on, happy girl. Let’s get inside,” he says softly against my ear.

Beau slides his arm around my shoulder and guides me away from the stepmonster and my dad. Amber was standing with them, but thankfully, she stayed quiet. Just as we’re walking away, she calls out to me.

“Harry, I’m sorry for your loss.” Shooting her a grateful look, I decide to give her a point for at least attempting to be a decent person, today of all days.

Ignoring my dad’s whispered comment to Deborah, I’m relieved when my brothers follow us into the larger room. They flank our sides like they’re going to block out the negative feelings surrounding my relationship with the other three.

We find our seats a couple of rows behind Marcus’s parents and extended family, where Addie has saved a few seats for us. Doing a quick count, I blow out a breath to see that there is only room for me and Beau. My brothers quickly fill the seats behind us, forcing my dad, stepmom, and sister to sit further away from me.

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