Jamie rubs the back of his neck, avoiding my eyes. “He’s under a lot of pressure. We all are.”
“And I’m not?” My voice rises before I can stop it. “I’m sitting here, carrying your children, trying to figure out where I fit into all of this, and the three of you can’t even stop fighting long enough to have a normal conversation!”
“Savannah, it’s not…” Troy starts, but I cut him off.
“No. Don’t ‘Savannah’ me right now.” My arms cross over my chest as I pace in front of the couch. “I don’t even know if any of you are actually in this with me for real. Every time I turn around, it’s secrets, yelling, or someone walking out. How am I supposed to trust any of you right now?”
Neither of them has an answer. Figures.
I drop onto the couch and press my palms to my eyes, willing myself not to cry. “When’s the game against Missouri?” I ask, my voice quiet now.
Jamie looks at Troy, like maybe he knows.
“Next Saturday,” Troy says after a beat. “Why?”
I take a shaky breath and let my hands fall to my lap. “Because I think I need to get out of this house until then.”
“What?” Jamie’s voice is sharp. He moves closer, crouching down like he’s trying to make me stay put with his eyes alone. “You don’t need to go anywhere.”
“Jamie, come on,” I say, shaking my head. “You can’t sit here and tell me this is healthy. For me. For Noah. For any of us.” I stand, pushing past him. “You guys clearly have a lot on your plates right now, and I need a break.”
“Where are you gonna go?” Troy asks, his voice cautious.
I look over my shoulder as I head for the stairs. “I think me and Noah will stay at Millie’s for a little bit.”
“Savannah, wait,” Jamie says, following me. “You don’t have to do that. We can figure this out.”
I stop halfway up the stairs and turn to face him. “Not tonight. I’m too tired, Jamie. And honestly? I don’t think I’d believe a single thing you or Troy said to me right now.”
Jamie looks like I’ve slapped him, but I can’t care about that right now.
“I’ll pack a bag,” I say softly. “For me and the baby.”
The tension in the room is thick, but neither of them says a word as I turn and head to my room.
***
It doesn’t take long to pack. It’s just a small suitcase for me, and for Noah, his favorite blanket, and a few toys. My hands shake as I zip it closed, the weight of everything hitting me at once. I sit on the edge of the bed and take a deep breath, trying to convince myself I’m not making a huge mistake.
There’s a knock at t the door, and before I can say anything, Jamie and Troy step in.
“Can we talk?” Jamie asks. His tone is softer now, less defensive.
“Not tonight,” I repeat, standing and grabbing the suitcase. “I need space. You need space. This...whatever this is...it’s not working right now.”
Jamie steps forward, reaching for the suitcase like he’s trying to stop me. “Then let us drop you off. Please.”
I hesitate, meeting his eyes. There’s something in them that makes my chest ache, but I can’t let it sway me.
“Fine,” I say, letting the suitcase go. “But no arguments. No guilt trips. Just a ride.”
“Okay,” Jamie agrees quickly. “No arguments.”
Troy stays quiet, his jaw tight as he follows us down the stairs.
***
The car ride is awkward as hell. Jamie drives, Troy sits in the passenger seat, and I’m in the back with Noah asleep in his car seat beside me.