Page 79 of Fall at Once

Her footsteps across the wood floor had me holding my breath.

I released it to clear my head.

All I had to do was be honest with her. If she couldn’t understand my trepidations, she wouldn’t be the person I thought she was.

She flung the door open and smiled at me, and for a brief moment, I felt relief. Then her smile shook, and she stepped aside to wave me in after her.

“Good morning, Cole.” She was formal. And while she wasn’t cold, she wasn’t the Madi I had grown accustomed to. “How are you feeling?”

“Much better, and you?”

“Fine. Just sleepy. I was up late with Kenzie.”

“Ahh, I see.”

“We should talk.”

“We need to talk.”

We spoke at the same time. But I could tell she was as nervous as I was when neither of us laughed.

“Would you like some coffee?” she offered. “I just made a pot.”

“Sure.” I accepted, even though caffeine was the last thing I needed. My heart was about to race out of my chest and run a lap through Cozy Creek.

“Sit down, and I’ll bring it out.”

I found my way to the couch. All three cats sat glaring at me from the windowsill, telling me with their eyes not to fuck this up.

“I can’t make any guarantees, okay?” I mumbled. “I’m probably going to put my foot in my mouth.” I was talking to cats—Clearly, I had lost it. At least I wasn’t expecting them to answer.

“Did you say something?” she called from the kitchen.

“Uh, no.”

She came back carrying two mugs. “I remembered you said you like my coffee creamer too. I hope this is okay.”

I took a sip. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

She sat on the chair adjacent to the couch where I was. “So, Gigi got her boot off and I?—”

“You’re going back to Colorado Springs?”

“Um.” Uneasiness snuck into her voice as she continued. “Iwas thinking about staying here, actually.”

“Not for me, though. Right?” Awkwardly, I cleared my throat.

What was I saying?

Everything I had wanted to express to her was getting twisted through the disastrous labyrinth of my insecurities before it came out of my mouth. I was already fucking this up, and we’d barely gotten started.

Her face turned red. “Um—I. Wow. Okay. I don’t quite know what to say to that…” she stammered, bewildered.

“That came out wrong. I didn’t mean it that way.”

“How else could that come out, Cole?” We locked eyes briefly before she looked away, biting her lip nervously. “I thought we had something together. I thought that maybe we had a future. Or at least something special.”

“We did. I mean, we do. I just don’t want you to leave your home and your life behind for me and my mess. What kind of selfish bastard would I be if I let you do that, Madi? You deserve more. You deserve better.”

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