Page 78 of Fall at Once

Maybe I am fucked up.

Maybe Tate was right, and Sherry messed me up more than Iwas willing to admit.

Enough.

Staying cooped up in my bedroom and torturing myself was useless. With a toss bordering on violent, I threw my quilt to the side and stalked to the shower.

I had to check on her.

I had to explain—myself. Or at least talk to her until we could come to an understanding. We needed to be on the same page. I had to find out what she had heard last night and how much it had upset her. The thought that she’d walked away from me hurting last night didn’t sit right with me.

After hurrying through my shower, I dressed quickly in jeans and a T-shirt, then headed to the Confectionery, hoping to figure out what to say to her when I got there.

It was early. At this time of day, customers pick up their orders to take with them to work rather than sit down to enjoy their treats.

Instead of finding Madi behind the counter, Gigi was standing there. There was a pensive gleam in her eyes. She didn’t seem like her usual cheerful self. She was worried about something. And she was not wearing her boot.

As I waited in line, my heart’s last spark of hope for a future with Madi diminished. Logically, I knew I was overreacting, but I couldn’t stop the negative thoughts from forming. They popped up faster than I could shoot them down. Logic was not my friend today. By the time I reached the counter, my mood was bleak, and a cold knot of tension roiled around in my gut. I took a deepbreath and tried to relax.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” she greeted me.

“Good morning. Your ankle is better. I’m glad to see it.” As casually as I could manage, I asked, “Does Madi know yet?”

“She knows.” Her voice was calm, her gaze steady, as if she could read my mood. “We were supposed to have breakfast and discuss it, but she wasn’t feeling well this morning. She’s upstairs. I let her be since she had a late night. Poor thing is just tired.”

“Oh.” I nodded. “Okay.” A familiar flash of loneliness struck me, and misery, like a weight, settled into my chest.

Would she be packing?

Getting ready to go home?

Was I too late?For what?What was I going to do?

She wasn’t here right now, and it threw me off. She was always here when I arrived. I had grown accustomed to seeing her smiling face in the morning, whether behind the counter or at Gigi’s when she met Natalie to walk Basil.

Insecurities I had thought I had gotten over flooded into my thoughts. I couldn’t make Sherry happy, and I’d known her since we were children. How in the hell would I ever be able to make someone as unforgettable as Madi want to be with me?

“You should go up and talk to her,” Gigi suggested.

“Yeah, that’s why I came?—”

“Oh! Your arm. How is it? I should have asked you first thing. I’m so sorry. I’m a bit unsettled this morning. Too muchis going on.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m fine. It wasn’t a serious burn. How’s the ankle feeling now that the boot is off?”

“Better. I’m fine too, damn it.” She bit her lip and looked away. “I don’t want her to go, Cole,” she whispered.

“I know…” I shut my eyes for a moment, feeling completely miserable. “I’ll go up and talk to her.”

“Good. I’ll be here if you need me.”

If I needed her?

Why would I need her? This didn’t bode well for me. Or was it just an innocuous statement? I drove myself crazy, stewing over the possibilities while walking up the stairs. My heart thumped madly as I stabbed the doorbell and pounded on the door. Each knock felt like a bad omen.

I should leave.

Would it be better to leave whatever this thing was between us as it was? Would trying to define it ruin it?

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