Page 68 of Fall at Once

He huffed a laugh, smiling at me like he thought I was cute, and shook his head lightly as he traced a fingertip down my nose before dropping a kiss there. “Yeah, baby. I wish I could spend all my time with you. Is that okay?”

“Yes. I love that you feel that way. Because I do too.”

“Good,” he repeated and kissed me again. “I’m done with my run. I was headed back to the station. Are you going for a walk? Where’s Basil?”

“Yeah, um, he’s at Gigi’s. I got off to a late start today. I needed to clear my head. I—never mind.”

His eyebrows dropped in concern, and he pulled me close to whisper, “Are you okay? With you and me and last night? Please tell me if you aren’t, and we’ll talk it through, okay?”

“Oh, no. That isn’t it. I’m fine. Last night was amazing. It’s just, um, work stuff. That’s all.” It was some of the truth. He didn’t need to knowallmy feelings. Not yet, anyway.

“Okay. But if that changes, talk to me.” He flicked his wrist to check his watch. “I have to get to the station. I’ll text you whenever I can.”

“I’d like that.”

After one last kiss, he ran off up the street toward the station, and I shamelessly watched him until he was out of sight before continuing on my way to the park, no longer pouty stomping but floating along on a cloud of unprecedented feels.

Chapter 22

Cole

Imissed Madi.

It had been days since I’d last kissed her. We texted as much as we could and sometimes talked on the phone. It was better than nothing, but I wanted to touch her. I wanted to feel her against me again. I craved the way her body felt beneath my hands. I didn’t get enough on our night together and wondered if I ever would.

I also missed my kids. They were with my parents tonight but would spend the rest of the week with Sherry, and I was worried. With the help of our new therapist, things had thawed between her and Natalie. Nat had forgiven her, and she said she understood. Sherri had promised that it would never happen again. But that didn’t mean things weren’t still tense between them,and it didn’t make my concerns disappear.

Night shifts were the worst. It felt like being trapped in a different world sometimes.

The sound of my feet hitting the pavement pounded along with the incessant thrumming of the thoughts racing through my mind.

Cozy Creek was quiet at night. The street lights shimmered in the darkness and reflected off the windows of the businesses lining the street.

Tate was oddly quiet, too. Maybe he sensed my mood, and instead of trying to make me laugh my way out of it, he understood I needed this time to think things through. Or maybe he was in the same mood I was.

Night runs with Tate used to bring me peace. They had always cleared my mind, but not anymore.

I spent the last week avoiding having any sort of real conversation with Madi about our future together or even thinking about whether or notshewas expecting the topic to arise.

It was probably not a good idea to talk about things like the future, feelings, and doubts through text or phone calls anyway.

But what did I know?

The last time I saw her, I kissed her like I had a right to as if she were mine. But she wasn’t. And even worse, I’d done it in the middle of the sidewalk on Main Street where anyone could see and feel free to draw their own conclusions.

I didn’t know how to navigate any of this. I married my high school girlfriend straight after college, and look how that turnedout. I was so afraid of messing up whatever this beautiful, precious thing with Madi was that I remained fixed in place rather than risk everything in taking a step forward with her.

Running into burning buildings, I could do.

Laying my heart on the line with Madi? Not a fucking chance.

“I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“Huh?”

I stopped. Ironically, we were near the exact spot where I’d last seen Madi and kissed the hell out of her.

“With Madi. I don’t know what I’m doing with her.”

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