Page 69 of Fall at Once

He looked at me from the corner of his eye as he caught his breath. “Are you fucking her?”

“Tate!” It was dark. We were downtown, and the sidewalks were empty since it was so late in the evening, but I still looked around as if someone could overhear.

“You are. So, what is it? What’s the problem?”

“I have no idea what she sees in me. I can’t stop thinking someone her age would be better for her. That I’m just wasting her time like that asshole she used to be with did.”

“Well, are you? Is she just a piece of ass to you, Cole?”

“No. She’s not just a piece of ass,” I barked. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not wasting her time. Both things can be true.”

“Sherry really did a number on you.”

“I’m fine. That’s over. I’m over her.”

“You can be over her and still not be over the way she made you feel when she cheated. As I said, both things can be true, Cole.”

I ran my hands into my hair, digging my palms into my eyes. “Fuck.”

“You took a hit to your self-esteem. She played you for months with your best friend, who you never talk about?—”

“Why would I talk about that motherfucker? He’s dead to me now.”

“And I get that. But look, I know how divorce feels. Your marriage ended. Your best friend since childhood betrayed you. Your life is completely different now. And you don’t just get over it that easily. It hasn’t been that long since the divorce. That sort of shit causes damage, Cole. It changes you. Trust doesn’t come so easily anymore.”

“Who wouldn’t trust Madi?” I argued. “She might be a literal angel.”

And that was the problem. She was too young, too sweet, entirely too beautiful, which made her something I couldn’t resist. I was a selfish prick for pursuing her.

“You can trust Madi and still not trust yourself. They aren’t mutually exclusive; you realize that, right? You can want her more than anything but still be afraid to get hurt again.”

“When did you get so fucking smart, Tate?”

“Who recommended your therapist to you?”

I huffed a laugh. “Point made.”

“This shit takes time. I’ve had months of practice sorting my shit out. You’re going to be okay. Have faith in yourself, okay? You deserve a fucking break for once in your life.”

“Am I self-sabotaging? Putting the brakes on something thatcould improve my life?”

“You might be. But there’s nothing wrong with slowing down. You don’t have to get down on a knee and propose to her. You don’t even have to tell her you’re falling for her. You’re allowed to go at your own pace.”

“Yeah, true. I don’t want to go through it again. And I don’t want to hurt her. Plus, I have a lot going on between Sherry, the kids, and the job—Is that too much to bring to the table?”

“Lean on your family. Let us help. You don’t have to do it alone, Cole. We’re all here for you?—”

I froze as the all-too-familiar sounds of a fire hit my ears. Crackles, pops, and whispered rumbling hisses floated across the night air, but I couldn’t tell where they came from.

“Shh.” I held up a hand to quiet him. “Did you hear that?”

“Yeah, I hear it.” Immediately, he went on alert. “And now I can smell it too. Smoke.”

We followed the scent until we could see the smoke coming out of one of the dumpsters down the alley next to the Enchanted Greenery, the garden supply store. There was a bunch of cigarette butts strewn throughout the alley. One or more of them had probably ended up inside.

“If this isn’t a sign, I don’t know what is,” I joked.

“This is not a sign, dumbass. We need to move that dumpster before the fire gets any bigger.”

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