Page 83 of Acedia

“Did you enjoy the colorful flowers? The green leaves? Things we never thought would exist in the shadow realm?”

Silence.

“Who fed from the energy stores today?” Damen asked. How did he make his tone casual and steely all at once? “I know plenty of you did. We’ve been wholly dependent on them for a while now. Very kind of our ex-Hunters to keep those topped up for us.”

The silence grew a little more tense.

“Mistwood, Bremrus, and Bolsfort provide almost all of the food in the realm. The ex-Hunters are currently providing almost all of the power. If anyone is laboring under the impression thatwe—the courtiers—are the valuable ones here, I would urge you to do some serious self-reflection on what it is you think are you contributing to the world. We’re not fighting any battles against one another. Our physical strength and the strength of our connection to the shadows are meaningless when we’re in the human realm—an equalizing arena where every Shade is vulnerable. What makes you superior, hm? Stand up and tell me now if you have an answer, I am more than willing to hear it.”

A shiver ran down my spine, and I wouldn’t have been surprised to find that I wasn’t the only one.

“I thought not,” Damen said lightly after a long moment where no one responded. “Ruvyn, thank you for coming and sharing your findings with us. Everyone else, enjoy the meal that has come courtesy of the food-growing regions of the shadow realm and shut the fuck up. If I hear a single muttered complaint about weakened bloodlines, it will be followed by a duel. Let’s put those so-called superior skills of yours to the test.”

And with that, he sat down, dragging a platter loudly across the table and leaning in to load up my plate first.

“Cheers to that,” Allerick drawled—sounding almost pleased by his standards. There was the quiet clink of goblets, and I wondered if Ophelia had raised hers in toast. Her breathing had gotten very shallow over the course of Damen’s impromptu speech.

“How are you feeling?” I asked Damen, giving Ophelia a moment with her husband. “That was very brave of you.”

“Do you think so?” I heard him swishing the wine in his cup. “It didn’t feel brave. It felt obvious.”

I could pinpoint down to the exact second the moment I fell in love with Damen, and it was right then. There was no doubt in my mind any longer, no hesitation. I knew it all the way down to my bones, and it was the best feeling in the world.

If only I hadn’t already rejectedhisdeclaration of love. I blew out a shaky breath, absently chewing on a piece of meat despite the fact that I’d lost my appetite.

What was I meant to do now?

Chapter 24

“Are you okay?” I asked Ruvyn, pulling him aside after dinner. Astrid had cornered Ophelia and was whispering urgently to her, with Iris standing close by, offering what looked like soothing words to the both of them. I imagined that if someone was going to feel panicked by the asshole comments some courtiers had made at dinner, it would be Astrid. She was primed to see danger everywhere, and rightly so. “I’m sorry, that didn’t go as I’d hoped.”

Ruvyn looked contemplative. “No? I think it went about how I expected.”

“And you had no qualms about doing it anyway?”

“I’m a historian. It’s not for me to pass judgment on the events of the past, merely to establish what those events were to the best of my ability, acknowledging that I can never betruly impartial because I’m shaped by the world around me. Sometimes, the things I find in my research are unpleasant. That doesn’t make them untrue. “If only I was a more charismatic speaker,” he added ruefully. “I expected their response and yet, I wasn’t able to counter it successfully.”

“Leave some talents for the rest of us, Ruvyn. That you were able to translate those ancient texts is a far more impressive ability.” If he could have blushed, he might have. “Will you return to The Itrodaris now? You’re more than welcome to join me for a drink.”

He looked past me, scanning the room. Specifically, the spot where the ex-Hunters always sat.

“Looking for someone in particular?” I teased.

He started guiltily, shadows rippling in embarrassment. They were hearty-looking shadows too, almost like he’d fedverywell recently…

“A slightly smaller crowd of ex-Hunters than the last time you were here,” I observed, allowing myself a little fun before putting him out of his misery. “I believe there’ll be a larger group here in a couple of days though, to finalize the new arrangement between the Shades and the Hunters.”

“That’s nice,” Ruvyn mumbled.

“Isn’t it just? I hope you’ll come back and say hello. To me, of course. Who did you think I was talking about?”

He narrowed his eyes. “You’re so irritating. Why is that sweet woman even remotely interested in you?”

I perked up. “Do you think she is?”

Ruvyn scoffed. “I think that’s obvious to everyone, though I can’t imagine what she’s thinking. From what I overheard at dinner, she’s sweet. Courteous. Helpful. Kind. Curious about the world, and driven to participate within it.”

“Are you saying I’m not those things?”

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