Page 6 of Acedia

I knocked my shin on the corner of the coffee table on my way to the door, sucking in a quiet breath at the sudden sharp pain. Hopefully, they’d brought food.

“Finally,” Travis grunted, knocking me with his shoulder as he barged his way in. “We’re going to hook up the console in here to play games for a bit. It’s so fucking boring over there, we need a break. Don’t get in the way.”

“Oh. Right.”

“Um, hi,” an unfamiliar voice said, startling me as I closed the door. “I’m Lucas.”

I stood with my hand on the door handle, frozen like a statue, while Tilly trotted over to position herself at my feet. They’d brought someone back here? Why would they have done that?No one knowing about me was the number one rule in our family.

It had never really been put to the test before. It was easy to hide me away at home, where only the attic was off-limits. It hadn’t taken Justin and Travis long to crumble at the very first hurdle, though.

Nana would have been so disappointed in them.

“Hello,” I replied eventually, shrinking back against the door. Tilly grumbled a quiet, unhappy sound, almost sitting on my feet.

“Ignore her,” Travis instructed Lucas. “Come, sit here. What do you want to play? Iris, don’t be weird. Lucas is family. Notyourfamily, obviously.”

Lucas laughed uncomfortably, moving away so I could close the door. The three of them got comfortable on the couch, and I hovered awkwardly, wondering what I should do. Maybe I should just go and hide in the bedroom? That felt weird—and I’d have to walk past them all, and that idea was mortifying.

Eventually, I felt my way over to the small two-person dining table and took one of the seats. I was behind the couch where they were sitting all facing the TV, and maybe if I stayed still and quiet enough, they’d forget I existed. Tilly plonked down on my feet with a sigh, seemingly as unsure of what to make of a stranger in our presence as I was.

The boys decided on a game that sounded horribly violent, and I made myself as small as possible while they played—for hours it felt like, though I had no way of checking unless I asked. What was I meant to do? They’d come into my space, and yet I felt like the one who was intruding. My face burned with humiliation as my stomach grumbled so loudly that they all must have heard it. I suspected that Travis and Justin wouldn’t react well if I got up to get some jerky and reminded them of my presence.

“Should we order pizza?” Lucas suggested casually. “I’m starving.”

“Sure,” Justin replied distractedly, before uttering a string of curse words so foul that I was glad Nana wasn’t around to hear them.

“What does everyone want?”

“BBQ chicken for us,” Travis said. “Don’t worry about her.”

“I’m ordering for everyone,” Lucas said firmly. “I’m sorry, I’ve forgotten your name.”

Was he speaking to me? Probably.

“I’m Iris,” I mumbled. He was quiet for a moment, and I wondered if he was considering the irony of my name. It certainly wasn’t lost on me that my irises were one of the worst things about me.

“Iris, what kind of pizza would you like?” Lucas asked kindly.

I’d never eaten pizza before. Carla—Margaret before her—or Nana had always prepared my meals at home, and Nana had been strongly averse to any kind of fast food. But I knew from movies that pepperoni was a popular choice.

“Pepperoni?” I suggested tentatively.

“How do you know what pepperoni is?” Justin scoffed. “She can have a slice of ours—you don’t need to order anything special for her.”

“I like pepperoni too,” Lucas said easily.

There was a brief awkward silence before they resumed playing their game, and I shuffled a little in my seat to get comfortable as my butt started to go numb. Tilly adjusted her position with me, and I wished we were sitting on the sofa so I could haul her onto my lap and cuddle her like a lifeline.

She perked up right before someone knocked on the door, and there was some movement and murmurs of conversation in the background before the room was filled with the smell of cheese.

It smelledreallygood. My stomach rumbled loudly again, desperate for any kind of food but especially anything that wasn’t jerky and chips.

“I’ll get hers,” Justin said begrudgingly, pulling plates down in the kitchen before slamming one down in front of me.

“Here. Don’t say we don’t ever do anything nice for you.”

“Justin, you weren’t meant to bring anyone here,” I whispered, walking my fingers along the tabletop until I found the edge of the plate.

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