Page 8 of Having the Time of My Midlife

There needed to be less people in my home. Too many cooks were going to end up creating something horrendous. Kind of like one of Tim’s casseroles but deadly.

I didn’t think. I went with my gut. “Here’s the deal. I want the ghosts to go to my old farmhouse for safety. Dead friends, please find and pick up your unattached appendages and keep them with you. If you’re not sure where they are or if they belong to you, just grab whatever arm, leg or head you see and take them with you. We’ll figure out who they match with later. I promise I’ll glue you all back together as soon as I solve the… umm… issue.”

I closed my eyes for a hot sec and swallowed the desire to laugh hysterically at the words that had just left my mouth. Everything was sideways and wrong. However, it was my life, and there was no one else stepping up to live it.

“Rafe, Prue, Abby and Gabe will you take the dead to the farmhouse and protect them, please?”

My siblings nodded immediately.

Tory stepped forward. “If the ghosts are in peril I’ll go as well. As a last resort, I can take them to Purgatory. No one, even the Higher Power, can harm them there.”

My stomach cramped. That wasn’t in the plan at all. “Can they come back from Purgatory? Can they come home to me?”

Her pause was too long for my liking. “Most likely, yes.”

I squinted at her. My voice was flat and sounded harsher than I’d intended. “Most likelydoesn’t work.”

If my three hundred-ish deceased house guests—including Gram, Mr. Jackson, Lura Belle, Jolly Sue and Dimple—got stuck in Purgatory until Judgement Day I’d lose my shit.

Shaking my head, I stared at Tory. She was my friend, and I trusted her, but herlast resortplan was a bad one. I was responsible for the ghosts. Purgatory might be safe, but it was not a good place to be. Getting stuck there was out of the question. “That’s a hard no. Keep the dead in the farmhouse. Rafe, drop a protection ward. Let no one in or out unless Gideon or I give the go-ahead.”

“As you wish, Daisy,” he said. “I’d like Amelia to be with me.”

“Of course,” I replied. And then to my surprise, Prue spoke up.

“I think for defensive purposes…” She looked extremely uncomfortable as she rocked back and forth on her feet. “Zander and Catriona might be… you know… umm… helpful.”

My brows shot up. I was pretty sure if they could have, they would have met my hairline. Prue’s request wasn’t unreasonable as far as defense went, but there was far more to it. I stole a quick glance at Zander. He was as surprised as I was, but the man was also delighted. He had it bad for my sister, and she’d been studiously ignoring him.

While I was dying to ask questions, I didn’t. Embarrassing her wasn’t on the agenda. My siblings finding happiness after thousands of years of misery was at the top of my wish list after getting the ghosts back where they belong and living happily ever after with my man. Gabe and Tory were beginning to work on their happily ever after. Amelia and Rafe were already on their way. If Prue and Zander were meant to be, they would have my blessing. That left Abby, but since we lived forever—hopefully—she still had time to meet her other half.

“It’s a solid fuckin’ plan,” Candy Vargo said. “I’d suggest sending Missy, June and Jennifer with them.”

“I might look delicate,” June said with a wink and a smile. “However, I’m made of steel like the claw end of a hammer.”

I smiled back. No one was sure if June was Immortal or not. I’d saved my dear friend’s life when I’d returned her soul to her body after the former Angel of Mercy, Clarissa, had stolen it. I’d told Charlie to envision June in his mind to help me out. He did. However, he’d envisioned his wife as the young woman he’d met decades before. So, when she’d come back to life, my magic had turned her back into the woman she’d been in her twenties instead of her fifties. In my defense, I’d had no idea if reviving June was even going to be possible, let alone that it would turn her young.

Initially, the transformation had been a bit of a shitshow since they had grown kids, but a little magic from Tim helped her look her real age for short periods of time. Charlie, as an Immortal, could choose his age. When June looked young, so did he. When they visited their kids and grandkids, he appeared to be in his sixties. In reality, he was a bazillion years old. The fact that the majority of my friends, including Gideon, were older than dirt was something I didn’t know if I’d ever wrap my mind around.

Maybe when I was five hundred I’d get it. However, I was forty. Getting it wasn’t gonna happen today.

Glancing over at Candy Vargo, I waited to hear what she had to say. She might be horribly dressed and profane as all get out, but she was normally the voice of reason. As the Keeper of Fate, I’d put my trust in her many times and would continue to do so. I was also surprised that she hadn’t included my baby in the list of people to leave.

“Thoughts?” I asked her.

Candy removed the toothpick from her mouth and tossed it over her shoulder. Manners were something else the woman was lacking. “Lemme think,” she muttered as she walked over to the coffee table, opened up a fresh box of toothpicks and scattered them on the table.

Slowly, she lined them up next to each other. Candy Vargo was meticulous and precise. Each of the pieces of wood was placed in a row evenly. There had to be about fifty. When she was done, she pointed at Jennifer, June and Missy. “Get your asses over here.”

The three women walked over to the table. Heather was right behind Missy. Charlie followed June. That made sense. They were their partners in this life. Jennifer walked alone. She had a guy, but he was human. Sherriff Dip Doody was the man she refused to marry because she loved him too much to screw it up with a piece of paper. It made perfect sense since my Botox loving buddy had been married and divorced multiple times. While Jennifer knew about the secret world that existed right under the noses of the humans, Dip did not, and it had to stay that way. It had been shocking to witness how unafraid Jennifer was when she realized most of her friend group wasn’t exactly human. Her only disappointment was that we didn’t sparkle like the vampires inTwilight. My dear friend was one of a kind and the mold had been broken the day she was born.

Jennifer wasn’t alone for long. Her BFF Tim hustled over and had her back. I had no clue what Candy Vargo was up to, but I waited impatiently for her to reveal her plan. Gideon stood beside me with Alana Catherine still asleep in his arms. He was alert and focused on whatever was about to happen. With the Keeper of Fate running the show, one never knew.

“Alrighty, fuckers,” Candy Vargo announced.

“Language,” Gram shouted as she darted over and waved a transparent finger in Candy’s face. “You watch that mouth, girlie. You’re makin’ my rump itch. I love you like a daughter, but I’m gonna jerk you bald if you keep callin’ your friends duckers.”

“I said fuckers not duckers,” Candy Vargo corrected Gram.

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