Page 22 of Having the Time of My Midlife

“Yes, ma’am,” Candy said contritely. “My bad.” She took a deep breath and tried again. “Gideon, can you hand me the baby so that I can freakin’ figure out what she’s wantin’ to say?”

I nodded at Gideon. Candy Vargo would sooner chop off her own head than let something happen to our child. Getting our daughter involved was not anywhere on the agenda, but since there was very little to nothing on the list of how to fix the mess we were in, it kind of didn’t surprise me.

Candy gently took Alana Catherine into her arms and kissed the top of her head. “Alrighty then, little cutie pie, tell Auntie Candy who you want to talk to.”

Alana Catherine pulled on Candy’s hair with one hand and pointed across the room with the other. “Papa,” she squealed with a giggle. “Papa!”

As Candy Vargo walked across the room, the queens parted so she could get through the Immortal wall. I followed close behind with Gideon. Had the ghosts come back? Did my child sense them? Eventually—hopefully a very long time from now—she would take over for me as the Death Counselor. The gift ran in our bloodline. She was already very aware of the dead and adored them.

Her shrieking got louder and louder as she got closer to where Cecily, Abaddon and Pandora stood. I could feel my body tense as it became clear that papa didn’t mean daddy. It meant Pandora. However, no one was as shocked as the woman in question. She stepped back in terror.

“Hmm…” Candy Vargo said, shaking her head in surprise. “This is some weird shi…”

“Candy Vargo,” Gram shouted in warning. “You watch your mouth around my great grandbaby!”

“I meant it’s a weird shiiiituation,” she said, trying to save her ass and failing. “Alana Catherine wants to talk to Pandora.”

“Absolutely not,” Gideon ground out.

I touched his shoulder to calm him. “I don’t like it either, but as I’ve been told repeatedly, never say no to a gift.”

His body was as wound up as a bomb about to go off. I wasn’t too far behind, but maybe the reason why Cecily, Abaddon and Pandora were here was for this very moment. Or… I’d lost the rest of my debatably sane mind.

“I’ll solve this by leaving,” Pandora announced loudly. “I’m not fit to be touched by a child.”

Candy Vargo chuckled. “First time I’ve ever agreed with you, jackass,” she said. “But you ain’t goin’ nowhere until this little gal is satisfied.”

“I beg to differ,” Pandora snapped.

The Keeper of Fate bounced the future Death Counselor in her arms and eyed Pandora. The Demon Goddess squirmed under her gaze. “I’m gonna ask you a few questions, and you’re gonna answer them.”

Pandora sighed dramatically but didn’t backtalk Candy Vargo. No one but Gram got away with backtalking her. TheKeeper of Fate was the original badass. She knew it. We knew it, and Pandora definitely knew it.

“Tell me what you think about the Higher Power,” Candy said.

Pandora didn’t miss a beat. “I’d go to It’s funeral, but not to It’s birthday party.”

I laughed. It was impossible not to. The side of the Demon Goddess’ lip quirked up. She was aware she’d made a good one.

“Next,” Candy Vargo said with a grin. “Figure this one out. I’m the fuckin’ piece of string that joins the divide, the delicate place where hope resides. I can start with a spark, a fiery flame to light up the dark. Alone, I stumble, destined to fall. Together, we can conquer all. What in the hell am I?”

“Insane?” Pandora guessed.

I had to bite my lip to keep myself from laughing again. The Demon Goddess was a comedienne on a roll.

“Yep,” Candy agreed. “But that’s well known. Answer the riddle, idiot.”

The wordriddlejumped out at me. Steve’s words danced in my mind—'You have only days to discover the riddle and solve it. Start with the ending you desire and work your way back. It’s the only way. Remember nothing is impossible… you just have to believe.’ The riddle was important. I had a bad feeling this entire mission would be filled with them.

“You’re Belief,” Pandora said with annoyance. “And you’re wasting my time.”

Candy Vargo’s eyes narrowed. Pandora stepped back. Alana Catherine blew a raspberry and giggled while pulling on Auntie Candy’s hair. “I never waste time,” she said flatly. “You need to remember that fuc…arkin’ riddle because you need it more than anyone here.”

“That was close,” Gram muttered, giving Candy the eyeball.

Candy spared Gram a glance and a grin. “Sure was, Gram. Hey, Mailman,” she said to Tim. “I’d like it to be noted that I avoided the work fuck!”

“Until now,” I said with a wince. When the day came, I’d have to sit Alana Catherine down and explain the difference between language that we used and language that Candy used. Our language—good. Candy’s language—bad.

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