I should leave it at that, but I don’t. “So you saw her? She wasn’t sick or anything?”
Cat’s mouth drops open and she stares between Saint and me. I can see Saint shrug his shoulders at her unasked question. When she looks back at me, her face softens. “I didn’t actually see her today, no. But I did all this week and she’s seemed fine. Maybe a little more quieter than normal, but she hasn’t been sick. I’m sure it’s nothing, but she said she’ll be in later.”
When she finishes, she’s smiling at me like she knows something. I know what she’s thinking. She’s thinking I have something for Roxy. And I don’t. Well, I mean she’s great and all, but no, I’m not into her. At least I’m not going to act on it. Hell, I’m old enough to be her father.
But before Cat starts getting any ideas, I shrug my shoulders. “You’re right. I’m sure she’s fine. I’ll check in on her later… or maybe tomorrow. Is Troy in his office?”
I try to act like I’m okay and not worried, but I can tell that Saint and Cat are not buying it. After they both are smiling at me like lunatics, Saint finally tells me, “Yeah, he’s back in his office.”
I nod and get the hell out of there. My first instinct is to go and check on Roxy. To find her and make sure she’s okay. But instead, I walk down the hallway toward Troy’s office. Knocking on the open door, I ask, “What’s going on, Pres?”
I take a seat and Troy goes over all the precautions and security measures the club has taken since the incident with the Outlaws. Another man would probably tell him that he’s going overboard, but not me. As the vice president of the Heartlands Motorcycle Club, I know our club. The men and the women are our families and I know Pres will do anything to protect that. And I’ll be right there beside him. I have been loyal to Troy and the Heartlands since the beginning, and there’s nothing that will change that for me.
We go over financials of the Ride or Die and the Heartlands Garage. We talk about upping the security measures at the clubhouse. Security is already tight, but if Troy says we need more, we need more. I never argue with protection.
When we’ve talked it out and started putting the plans in action, I walk back outside toward the garage, knowing that is where Saint has gone. I need to go over everything Troy and I discussed and get him up to date on the changes at the garage and the clubhouse. Troy said he would talk to Ranger about the bar. I’m hoping that by the time I’m done, Roxy will be in for her shift. If not, I’ll have to figure out what my next step is. When I was hurt recently, Roxy was the one that came and cleaned out my cuts and even brought me food to eat. Maybe that’s what I need to do for her. When people are sick, don’t they normally eat chicken soup or some shit like that? I’ll go by the diner in town and grab some stuff then go to her house. She may not realize it, fuck she may not even like it, but she’s part of the Heartlands and we look out for our own. If she’s sick or hurting, I’ll be there for her.
* * *
Roxy
It’s official. I’m pregnant. The doctor says I’m about a month and a half along, which I already knew. When the question about the father comes up, I avoid it, instead asking a question of my own. “So is it safe to ride my motorcycle?”
I can tell he wanted to dig deeper into it, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to talk to some doctor about who the father is when said father doesn’t even remember having sex with me in the first place. Thankfully, he drops the subject and answers my question. “It’s as safe as it normally is. However, the bigger you get, you’ll need something else. Plus, when the baby comes you’ll need a safer car.”
I barely refrain from rolling my eyes. I may not know a lot about babies, but I do know I can’t strap one onto the back of my bike.
He continues to talk to me about the pregnancy and how things are going to be more challenging while going through it. He tells me the importance of having a support system. “Even if the father is not involved, having your family there for you will help you immensely.”
I know the doctor means well, but he doesn’t know me. He doesn’t know that I don’t have any blood family. At least none that I know of. My only family is the men and women of the Heartlands and once they find out about what I did, it’s hard telling what’s going to happen with that.
I can’t help but wonder how Gage would take it if I did tell him. He’d probably “do the right thing,” knowing him. And even though I want a father for my child, I’m not willing to settle for “doing the right thing” even though a part of me would do anything to be a permanent part of Gage’s life. There’s no life in that. I would always know the reason he is with me is because of the baby. He would eventually resent me and possibly even the baby. No, I may tell him about the baby eventually, but I am already making plans to raise him or her on my own. Now, I just have to figure out how to tell him.
Chapter4
Gage
Iwalk back over to the bar and spot Roxy walking in the front door. From here, she looks like she’s okay and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Just seeing her calms me in a way that I don’t want to question why or how.
I walk in the door behind her unnoticed and she goes straight to the back to put her purse away. I draw closer as I hear her and Cat talking, and I can overhear some of what they’re saying.
“… and are you? Are you pregnant?” Cat asks her.
I come to a stop, nearly tipping over. I stand in the doorway, still unnoticed, and I have my hand on the door frame holding me up.
“I am,” Roxy confirms.
I feel the breath rush from my lungs. Cat squeals in excitement but is cut off when I slam my fist into the door. “Who’s the father?”
Both women stare at me with their mouths hanging open. Cat looks between the two of us, her hand on her softly protruding belly. “I’m going to go out front and start opening up.”
I move to the side and let her pass before going into the room and shutting the door behind me. The terror on Roxy’s face makes me feel awful and I try to calm myself. She’s probably already afraid and confused. She’s so strong, and I know that having a baby is not something Roxy will take lightly. This will weigh on her, it’ll be a lot for her and I’m not letting whatever asshole knocked her up get away with abandoning her. I walk over to her and the closer I get, the more tense she gets. I hold my hands up in front of me and walk over to her. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”
Her body is trembling and she has her arms wrapped around herself. Her face is white and I fear that she’s going to pass out. “Roxy, honey, talk to me. You know I won’t hurt you. Are you okay? Do you need to sit down?”
She releases a long breath, nodding her head. “Yes, yes, please.”
I’m so worried she might collapse I pick her up in my arms before I search for a chair for her to sit in. Her hand lies flat on her stomach and something burns inside me. I can’t believe she’s pregnant. I can’t believe one of my men did this to her. I thought I’d put it out there for no one to mess with her, but obviously someone didn’t listen to me. My arms go tighter around her and I walk toward Ranger’s office. I try to ignore how she feels in my arms. She feels good… and familiar.