Page 60 of Go Cook Yourself

Before I can stop her, she grabs the empty glasses and bottle and rushes downstairs. Her feet slap her retreat.

I finally get enough air in my lungs to speak, although my voice rasps, and I can’t get enough volume to call her back. The deep brown of her eyes as she stared at me and the way she licked her lips suggested she wasn’t joking. I can blame the moment—telling her about my family and showing care for hers—but that’s not it either.

There’s something between us. This attraction and heat that doesn’t disappear even when we’re not near each other. I love cooking with her and laughing with her, and I’ve fantasised about her more than anyone ever. But no-strings sex with someone I spend this much time with isn’t possible. I set mymind to telling her that, but I can’t get the words out when she returns.

She won’t look at me.

There’s still the empty cheese board, so I take that downstairs while she busies herself, getting out more blankets. By the time I return, she’s covered the sofa bed with them.

I stare out the window. The snow has stopped, but white covers everything. We can’t go home.

“I need to take my clothes off,” she says so quietly I barely hear her.

“What?” I turn to find Ruby with her head down and fiddling with the cuff of her blouse.

“I need to take my clothes off,” she repeats slower.

Did we agree to no-strings sex without me realising? My body wants it. It’s all I can do to keep my cock still when I look at her.

“I can’t sleep in this skirt and blouse. When I was younger, I went through a phase where I slept on the bedroom floor.” Her cheeks pink as she rambles. “Anyway, one morning, I woke up with the cable from a charger wrapped a little around my neck. I presumed Jem was trying to kill me. We had a fiery relationship growing up, but he was away on camp.”

She says all of this so quickly that I can barely keep up. Her head is down, but she lifts her eyes occasionally, her eyelashes fluttering. She’s so beautiful that I grind my teeth to stop all the thoughts running through my head. It doesn’t work. I want whatever she’s willing to give me.

“I can’t sleep with anything around my neck, including blouses with collars. I have underwear on that I’ll sleep in, although I will lose the hold ups.”

I groan inwardly at the mention of the hold ups, but the way she looks at me, all wide eyes and biting lips, I suspect it wasn’t as inwardly as I’d hoped.

“Which side of the bed do you want?” she asks softly.

“We’re sleeping together?”

“We’re sleeping in the same bed. If you’re okay with that.” My cock jumps. “There’s enough blankets that we can be human sausage rolls. We’ll never have to touch each other’s skin or anything.”

I groan again. I want her to touch me. I fantasise about her fingers skimming my body approximately a billion times a day. I rub a hand down my face.

“I’m sorry for suggesting no-strings sex. I really am.” Her forehead wrinkles as she breaks eye contact. Her light is gone. “Can you look away so I can get ready for bed?”

I nod and turn. A rustle of material has me digging my teeth into my lips. I imagine her fingers pulling those hold ups away from her thighs before sliding them down her legs. A metal taste touches my tongue. I try closing my eyes, but that’s when all my fantasies of her undressing for me distract me. I shake my head and run through all the implements I might find in the cookery school drawers to ease my desire.

“Finished,” she says minutes later. Thank fuck for that. She’s already under the blankets. “I picked the left side. I hope that’s okay.”

I nod again. This is the right thing to do. There’s nowhere else to sleep, and I’m cold, so I need a blanket. She’s consented to sharing, and we’re both adults who are able to control our urges. That’s when I see her clothes bunched up at the side, her hold ups sitting on top.

Oh shit.

“I’m going to sleep in my underwear, too, if that’s okay? I don’t have any history with charging cables, just cable ties.” I meant to be lighthearted, but I wince after I say the words because her eyes are so wide. “Joking.I can joke, too.”

“Oh, right. Yeah.”

This couldn’t be more awkward.

“I usually sleep naked. Dick out and everything.”Oh, it could be more awkward.I made that happen. “Anyway, enough about my dick. Please look the other way.”

“Sorry, of course.”

Her bra strap slides down, and I watch it, my mouth dry. She yanks it back up before scratching her forehead. Ruby ducks her head under the blanket, but it’s like her stare is still on me. I’ve tasted her need all night.

She said no-strings sex, but she decided that was the wrong decision, and it is. It doesn’t matter how much I want her because I can’t have her. I just need to get through tonight without saying anything else stupid, and then we will return to being colleagues and nothing more.

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