Page 19 of Oh, Flutz!

“A little higher.”

“I thought you said this is a waist lift. Shouldn’t that be, you know, waist level?”

“Just a little—there. Good, you got it.”

“Great,” I mutter, or at least I try to, because Katya’s butt is directly in my face and it’s so muffled nothing intelligible comes out.

“Please stop talking into my asscrack,” Katya says calmly, and I’m only too happy to oblige.

I spit out yoga pant, craning my neck way around her. “Can I put her down now?”

“Nope.”

This is going to be a long day.

It goes like thatfor three more hours—moving through the very basics of pairs at an agonizingly slow pace.

By the time we get a break, my arms and shoulders are burning like they’re about to fall off, but somehow I’ve managed not to drop Katya, even though every time she opens her mouth I get the urge to. We’ve been doing tiny lifts on the ice periodically, basically just me lifting her two feet off the ground and making sure I can handle it; getting used to having to carry someone for extended periods of time. And then it’s back upstairs to the off-ice room.

Lian claps her hands. “Carry lifts! Bryan, you’ve been doing good, now we’re going higher. On dry land only, so you don’t kill her. We’ll start with a harness on Friday, though, don’t worry.”

“Yay…”

“Loving the positivity. First is the lasso lift. Reach under her to grab her hands, then lift her above you. Katya, go into a middle split. Got it?”

Neither of us answer. I cross my arms, then uncross them when I see Katya doing the same thing.

“I don’t have all day. If you two aren’t going to get your butts into gear, I’m going to call Chris Heffner and tell him to find me some new skaters. I don’t have time to waste, and you two don’t have the money.” Lian glances between us, and I shift around. Katya rolls her eyes again but doesn’t say anything. “So is that a yes?”

I close my eyes.I don’t have a choice.The thought keeps dinging in my head. I don’t have a choice. I have to do this. I have to give it everything I have.

“Katya, pretend you’re skating. Loosen up. You’re not completely still when you do this, so it’s good to be in the same positions. Bryan, you’re going to have to reach all the way under her legs to get to her hands. Got it?”

I don’t even bother being uncomfortable about it. I just sigh. “Fine.”

I catch Juliet’s eye, who’s been standing in the corner this whole time watching, filming, taking notes. She gives me an encouraging smile and two enthusiastic thumbs-up. Only she could be so optimistic at a time like this.

“Ready? One. Two. Three.”

On three, I bend down a little bit, reaching through her legs and up to secure my hold around her wrists, her fingers wrapping around mine as I grunt and lift her straight above my head.

Holy crap, this is not as easy as it looks on TV.

“Alright, Katya, relax a little more,” Lian says, walking slowly around us to see it from all sides. “Be strong, not tense.”

“I have to stay tense, this half-wit’s limp noodle arms are shaking like earthquakes,” she snaps, her grip tightening around my hands, and I grit my teeth.

“Sorry, sunshine, I’ve never had to lift a hundred-poundshitbefore,” I get out, the sarcasm sadly losing some of its sting due to the fact that I’m struggling to stay upright. I can feel all the weight in my neck right now, and it’s throwing me off. I stumble half a step before regaining my balance.

Katya looks down at me in panic for a half-second before straightening back up. “Why don’t you shut up and focus? Clearly you don’t have the brainpower to do two things at once.”

“Easy for you to say, you just have to stay up there and look pretty.”

She hacks out a laugh. “Believe me, the only reason you haven’t fallen over yet is because I’ve been helping. I could always de-tense and drop onto your head if you’d prefer.”

Is de-tense even a word? “Go for it, I dare you.” Just then, my elbows lock, and I grimace as her body weight jams my arm down on itself. It’s not technically her fault, so I bite the inside of my cheek hard enough I think I might’ve bitten something off for a second, but Icannotdrop her, so I just try to think it through, lowering her slightly, then flexing again to start over and get her back up there. And I hold on, just a little longer. Okay. This isn’t so hard.

I’ll be bench pressing this girl in no time,I think, but maybe a little prematurely, because that’s when I drop her.

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