Page 24 of Keeping Score

“She sure fucking did, brother,” I grit out. “Corv and I went home one year for Thanksgiving and guess who she brought to fucking dinner?” Beck’s eyes widen as he shakes his head trying to deny my claim.

“No way.”

“Yes, fucking way. I had to sit across the table from the motherfucker that fucked my girl and play nice because of Corvin and his parents. Want to know the worst fucking part?” I don’t give him a chance to answer. “Leah acted like nothing happened and kept shooting me hurt looks like I was in the fucking wrong! I was about to lose my best friend that night by telling him I was in love with his sister. Thank God I found her first or else I would have lost Corv for nothing.”

“Fuck. I had no idea man. I’m really fucking sorry that happened. I really didn’t think Leah was like that.”

“Yeah. Neither did I.” I can hear the hurt that laces my own voice.

Leah

I wake with the biggest smile on my face. I reach out for Darius and frown when I can’t find him next to me. I blink my eyes open only to find the space next to me vacant. I climb out of bed and grab one of his shirts from the floor and pull it on as I check the bathroom for him. Finding the space empty, I quickly relieve myself and brush my teeth before going in search of him. Before I can exit the room my phone rings and cringe at the ringtone. I rush into my room and grab it off my dresser and answer the dreadful call.

“What?” I snap.

“Good work, little mouse, four players down.” I slam my eyes closed as guilt eats away at me.

“What the hell do you want?” I grit out. He is the last person I want to be hearing from first thing in the morning. I check the time on my phone and stifle a groan when I see it’s only six-thirty in the freaking morning.

“The four players that are out aren’t the ones I told you to take out! Fix this fucking shit now or–”

“Or what? You’re gonna share the video? What proof do I have that you will even hand it over?”

His dark laughter fills the phone. “You don’t. Now be a good bitch and do as you’re told, the game is in three weeks and they better not take the fucking field.” He ends the call. I growl as I toss the fucking phone onto my bed and storm out of my room. I head downstairs in search of Darius only to find the space empty. I frown but then I hear the music playing and follow the sound to the basement, but at the sound of voices, I pause.

“Jesus!” Beck sound appalled. “I had no idea, I mean I knew something bad happened because you went from over protective to just… not giving a fuck where she was concerned.”

“Yeah.” Darius sounds so sad and it breaks my heart. I’m about to make my presence known until Beck speaks again.

“Fuck and she went to DCU with him!” They’re talking about me!

“She sure fucking did brother. Corv and I went home one year for Thanksgiving and guess who she brought to fucking dinner?” Shame washes over me knowing which Thanksgiving he is talking about.

“No way.”

“Yes, fucking way, I had to sit across the table from the motherfucker that fucked my girl and play nice because of Corvin and his parents. Want to know the worst fucking part?” Tears prick the backs of my eyes knowing how that must have looked to him. “Leah acted like nothing happened and kept shooting me hurt looks like I was in the fucking wrong! I was about to lose my best friend that night by telling him I was in love with his sister. Thank God I found her first or else I would have lost Corv for nothing.” He thinks he knows what he saw but he has no fucking idea and that has my stomach churning.

“Fuck. I had no idea man. I’m really fucking sorry that happened. I really didn’t think Leah was like that.”

“Yeah. Neither did I.” I slam my eyes closed and lean my head back against the wall as the first tear falls. I hate that he thinks of me like this but if I tell him, he will never look at me the same again! “I fucking loved her man. She was the first person I ever let in and now I’m so fucked up because of it. I can’t even look at another girl or kiss them while I fuck them because it hurts to know they aren’t her. Fuck.” The devastation in his voice is killing me! “She is the only girl I have ever kissed, how fucked is that?” He laughs but there’s no humor to it. “Want to know something else that is so fucked up?” He doesn’t give Beckett a chance to answer. “I still fucking love her and that is what fucks with my head daily!”

That’s it, I can’t listen to any more of this shit!

I round the corner with tears trailing down my cheeks, both their heads snapping up at the sound of my arrival. Darius looks devastatingly beautiful, even with the angry look on his face. I hate that I am the one who hurt him so badly. I will never forgive myself for that but I made the mistake of not coming clean when I found out months ago. If I’m going down I refuse to take any of these guys with me.

“Eavesdropping?” Darius snarls, his eyes shine with hatred and I can’t blame him for that. Beck stands to leave to give us some privacy but I shoot him a look and shake my head. “Oh, you gonna fuck my best friend as well, Goldie?”

I look back to Darius and plead with my eyes that he can see I didn’t hurt him purposely. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. “I’m sorry,” I sob. He climbs to his feet and runs his gaze up and down my body in disgust, the way he looks at me is like I’m shit beneath his shoe and it kills me.

“I thought I could give you the four days, I really did,” he says, shaking his head. “Seems I can’t do it,” is all he says beforestorming from the room and yanking my heart out of my chest again. Sobs tear from me, they steal the breath from my lungs as I crumple to the floor crying for the boy who was meant to be mine. I bury my face in my hands and cry, if I thought losing him the first time was bad, this time it feels like I won’t survive. Strong arms wrap around me and lift me into his lap. I cling to Beck as I bury my face in his shirt and soak it with my tears.

“Why do I feel like there is more to this story and that you never cheated on him?” he quietly asks after my sobs finally subside enough for me to breathe a bit easier. I sniff and burrow into him, he rests his chin atop my head.

“There is more but I can’t tell you,” I whisper. I feel him exhale and know he is disappointed in the fact I won’t just come clean.

“If you really love him like I think you do, you need to fix this, Leah, because Darius can’t handle another person letting him down.”

“What do you mean?” I ask.

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