Page 13 of Flawless

“No relationship. Just a good fuck.”

“That’s your problem now. You need to take a break from sex, the limelight, and everything else that consumes you,” Jade says.

“I would if I could, but you know that I have an awards show in two days. That’s why it was so important for me to get out of the hospital when I did,” I say.

“Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

“Absolutely.”

“Okay,” she mumbles.

Jade pulls up to my condo and asks, “Are you sure that you’re good for the night? You don’t want to come back to my place?”

“I’m an adult, Jade. I don’t need a babysitter.”

“Okay. Well, call me if you need anything at all,” Jade says as I get out of the car.

I breathe a sigh of relief as I head into my building, and there’s only the doorman there and no paparazzi.

My heart pumps rapidly in my chest as I take the elevators up to my place and head into my master suite.

I toss my handbag onto the couch and beeline for my master suite. Walking into my bathroom, I stare into the mirror at my red-rimmed eyes and ashen skin.

My eyebrows need to be plucked, and my nose is slightly red. I pull the medicine cabinet open and look at the array of pill bottles calling my name. Reaching out for the oxycodone and the Zoloft, my heart rate amps up.

Licking my lips, I greedily grab the bottle, anticipating feeling the pills go down. I await the moment when my anxiety will taper off, and the memories will begin to fade.

I shake the Oxycodone and Zoloft into my hand. Holding the bottles up, I stare at them before I finally set them back into the cabinet after screwing their tops on.

Popping the pills into my mouth without water, I head for my bedroom, waiting for sleep to come.

***

“...and the MTV Movie and TV award for Best Host goes to...Danica Maxwell forThe Edge With Nica!” the emcee announces.

My heart thunders in my chest, and I pray the sweat beads will go away. That’s not a good look for television.

“Congratulations,” Andre whispers in my ear just before I stand.

The applause in the airplane hangar is resounding.

I maneuver through the tables and up to the stage to accept my award. Landon Jennings, a comedian and tonight’s emcee, welcomes me with a hug and a kiss on my right cheek. As I accept the award, I turn to face the audience and the cameras and hold the award up in the air.

My colleagues, actors, and other entertainment professionals stand with rumbling applause, filling the space of Barker Hangar here in Santa Monica where the MTV Movie and TV Awards are being held.

“Wow!” I say as the applause starts up again.

I wipe a tear and inhale deeply as I prepare to read the teleprompter.

“Thank you! Thank you not only for the nominations, this is my fourth one, guys, but thank you that I won!” I scream, at which everyone laughs.

When the laughter and applause die down, I say, “Seriously, I am humbled by this honor. I didn’t realize that it would take me fainting on national TV for it to happen...”

Everyone laughs again.

“When I set out at the age of sixteen determined to have a modeling career, I did not see myself here. Even when the idea of having my own show first popped into my head, I didn’t see it going this big and gaining this much attention. I imagined a little, small talk show back in my hometown of Charleston, South Carolina.

“That alone would have made me proud, but having a show that has gone national, has a major time slot during daytime television, and has been nominated for numerous awards is something to be celebrated. I have worked tirelessly side by side with some amazing people to give our viewers what they wanted.”

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