Page 92 of Blaze & Ajax

“How do you feel?”

“We love you, you know.”

“You’re a stupid fucking asshole for not telling us!” That must’ve been Jazz, who sounded more hurt than angry.

Before I said anything, they were getting me dressed, throwing my shoes at me, and grabbing my board.

“We’re skating,” Stix said, dragging me out the door.

I looked back at Aiden, who smiled softly, but looked completely out of place, like a third wheel. He’d never really belonged in our group before, but he did now. He just didn’t know it yet.

Pippin didn’t give me a chance to grab Aiden as he rushed him and pulled him into a hug. They’d become somewhat friends already when Pippin and Nacho struggled for a bit right before Nacho’s accident, and they started to bond more since.

Aiden went stiff at first, but he finally gave in to the hug, making my heart beat faster and smile like a loon. Even through the dark cloud of depression, I knew I could still find some light.

“Everyone,” I said to get their attention. They all stopped yanking on me and yapping to listen. I didn’t take my eyes off Aiden when he looked at me. “Everyone, this is my friend, my boyfriend, my forever person, Aiden. We’re no longer going to call him Blaze. Is that understood?”

They had a slew of questions, but I raised my hand. “It’s up to Aiden to tell you why, not me.”

My poor guy looked like he was about to crumble, but I went to him and pulled him against me. “Look at all the people who are soon going to love you, too. You’re not alone anymore, got it?”

He nodded and gave me a wet smile. “Got it.”

When we all stepped outside, I looked up at the sky and took a deep breath of the warm air. There wasn’t a cloud to be found, and the temperature was perfect. It reminded me that no matter how dark my mind got, there would always be light. You couldn’t have one without the other.

I wasn’t sure I was up for skating, but I was eager to hang around my friends again.

After stopping at a convenience store to grab beer, water, sodas, and snacks, we headed toward Skatepark of Baltimore at Roosevelt Park. The place was cool,with gorgeous artistic graffiti decorating the skate bowl and surrounded by the green park.

While my friends took off on their boards, I held Aiden’s hand. We walked there since he didn’t skate, but the place wasn’t too far.

“You know, I could teach you to skate,” I said.

“Nah, I’d rather just watch you.” He looked up at me. “Do you want to know a secret?”

“Sure, I like secrets. How deeply do I need to hold on to this secret of yours?”

His grin was crooked. “With your life, of course.”

“Of course.”

“I’ve always loved watching you skate. You’re fucking good at it. I may have scowled at you, but I could never take my eyes off you.”

I bumped his shoulder. “I’ll take that to my grave.”

He snorted a laugh. “I appreciate that.”

“It’s nice to see you smile again,” Aiden said, squeezing my fingers.

“It’s still… I’m off. I’m not really better, and I fucking miss feeling good before my crash, but I know I’ll be good soon. I hope, anyway.”

“You will. I know it.”

I just hoped if and when I went manic again, I wouldn’t destroy him or ruin us. It was terrifying. But when I was like that before the depression hit, I had virtually no control over myself. These were things I needed to have a talk about with my therapist.

We reached the park, but I wasn’t in the mood to skate just yet. I sat in the grass and tugged Aiden down between my spread legs to hold him as we watched my friends skate in the bowl.

I rested my chin on his shoulder, enjoying the sun warming my skin down to my soul.

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