Page 33 of Dearest Ronan

Awkwardly, we even talked about when she walked in on Ronan and me. Turns out, she wasn’t upset that her soon-to-be-ex-husband was having sex with a younger woman. It was that she felt like he had moved on too soon. It didn’t matter if it was with me or a woman his own age.

At first, I didn’t believe her, but for the first time in our relationship, I put myself in Carolyn’s shoes. What if I found my husband of fifteen years in an intimate moment before our official divorce? Since I’m not sure how I’d feel, I give Carolyn grace.

Just how she has no right to judge my relationship with Ronan, I have no right to judgeherfeelings. Actually, I’d even say that it’s none of my business what her feelings are.

So yeah. Carolyn and I aren’t going to be friends or anything, but at least we can be in the same room now without resentment.

Two months later:

I anxiously tug on the sleeves of my dress. I moved back to California two weeks ago, and am now at Ronan’s work party. It’s for nothing special, just athanks for your hard worktype of thing. Since it’s low-key enough, I thought this would be the perfect place to see him for the first time since coming back. There are tons of people around, so hopefully we can escape the awkward post-break up talk. You know, so I can sayexcuse me,I see [insert name here], and I don’t want them to slip away,rather than get trapped in his apartment kitchen.

Soft laughter surrounds us as Ronan’s coworkers mingle. Like a bee drawn to bright colors, Ronan and I lock eyes, and all my anxious nerves disappear. He’s wearing a blue long-sleeved button-down dress shirt, one that appears to match the shade of mine. It’s like we coordinated our outfits together.

If only.

Yes, it’s awkward seeing him again, but my heart also echoes with thoughts ofhome.

My four inched heels pinch my pinkie toe, so I’m thankful when it’s Ronan who broaches the distance between us.

He rubs the back of his neck. “Hi, Anika. How ya been?”

I refuse to let this be more awkward than it inherently is, even if my thighs tingle when he flexes his firm jaw. Sticking to my resolution, I bravely tell him all about my time with Indy. Once I’m done and we’ve exchanged conversation for a few minutes, I ask him how he’s been.

He gives me a boyish smile. It’s adorable.Stop it, Anika!“I spent ten weeks in therapy learning how to set boundaries and cope when I’m overwhelmed,” he says.

I jump on the balls of my feet, unable to help it. “That’s wonderful! I’m so proud of you!” Lunging at him, I wrap my arms around his waist and rest my cheek against his chest. We’re not together, and perhaps my eagerness is a tad inappropriate, but in my defense, that’s why we’ve had limited contact.

I missed him so freaking much, my heart feels like it’s going to burst from my chest and throw itself into his arms.

Cautiously, he wraps his arms around my back. Sensing his hesitation, I remind myself that we’re not together. Nor is his timidity a reflection on the validity of my feelings.

“What about you?” he asks. “Are you dating? How’s work? What have you been up to?” He blinks. It’s so cute. Even moreso, he doesn’t appear embarrassed by his eagerness to know about my life. On the contrary, he’s completely serious.

“I’m great, Ronan.” Dearest Ronan. The thought flits through my mind before I can stop it. “Dated here and there, but it never worked out.” I shrug. “And working for Indy was fantastic for growing my skill-set.” I spend a few minutes explaining what I’ve learned and the extra courses I took in accounting. “I’m here to stay.” I conclude.

“Great, I’m so happy for you.” He flashes me a genuine smile.

I go to open my mouth, but a woman materializes next to Ronan’s side. She clings to his arm like a second skin, even more so than the scarlet dress against her curves. Really, she’s quite pretty. I hate to compare, but whereas my hair is curly and wild, hers is sleek and tame. Her blue eyes flash up at Ronan as she grins at him. “I was hoping you’d be here,” the woman says.

Jealousy consumes me. For a few precious weeks, Ronan had his cock buried so deep in my cunt, I felt him poke against my cervix.

That was then, and this is now.

Trying my best to give off a smile that doesn’t resemble a child in pain, I offer her my hand. “Hello, I’m Anika Grimes.” If she’s Ronan’s girlfriend, she must already know of my existence—as his former ward.

The woman’s brows furrow for a split second, then, remembering her manners, laughs. “I’m sorry, how rude of me. I’m Jenny.”

I’ve been there. Wanting him so badly it seeps into your pores like a lustful poison. This Jenny woman oozes it.

He’s all I see.

All Isaw, dammit. I’m over him. Over. Him.

Right?

Sighing, I tuck a strand of my curly hair behind my ear, because it’s not right. Ronan will always have a piece of me, but at least I learned how to live without that missing part.

Ronan calmly smiles but turns to me with a soft expression. “Jenny’s our new H.R coordinator.”

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