Page 47 of The Rescue

She blinks in confusion, and neither one of us says anything.

“Good night,mo beag,” I try to give her a genuine smile but my head is pounding from the wine and the weird tension of the night.

I turn and head into my bedroom letting the door click behind me, leaving her standing there with a look of confusion on her face.

17

Crystal

I wake up feeling like last night was a dreamand a nightmare all combined into one. Being in the hot tub with Rabbie was too much for me to handle, the things he said to me, the moment we nearly kissed. Which was quickly ruined by everyone joining us outside. It was sobering to say the least, it was like someone had dumped a cold bucket of water on my head.

After almost kissing him, I was terrified. I’ve never wanted something so badly before. I’d been fantasising about kissing him for weeks, but when everyone interrupted us, I froze and panicked. I spent the whole night tossing and turning, overthinking everything and silently cursing myself for my messed-up views on relationships and my fear of commitment. The last thing I want is to hurt him

I don’t know what I was expecting, but his coldness after everyone joined us wasn’t one. I was trying to act cool in front ofeveryone else, and not draw attention to us. Dylan was the only one who suspected something was up, and even then I didn’t want a lecture from her so I told her nothing had happened. I don’t know how we went from so hot to cold in the matter of moments.

It’s early, and everyone else is still asleep. I toss and turn, feeling restless and anxious, so I slip into my active wear and head downstairs. I need a run to clear my head. Quietly, I sneak out the front door. The sun is barely up, frost still covers the ground, and the birds are just beginning their morning song. The air is fresh and crisp, and I take a deep breath before starting a light jog down the gravel driveway. The autumn leaves remind me of home, and the stillness of the countryside feels oddly comforting. Normally, I’d find the quiet overwhelming. Boston’s constant noise used to drown out my thoughts while I ran, but here, there’s nothing to distract me from them—especially not from thoughts of Rabbie.

I push myself for five miles, but the burning in my legs and lungs barely distracts me from thinking about Rabbie. He’s still at the forefront of my mind. This is exactly why I don’t date—once feelings start to form, I freak out and run. I round the corner and head back towards the house. I push myself to run harder so much so that when I reach the front door of the house I bend over trying to catch my breath.

I make my way inside to the kitchen to grab a glass of water before heading upstairs to shower. That’s when the smell of bacon hits me making my mouth water. Of course he would be in here making breakfast whilst everyone else is still in bed probably sleeping off their hangovers.

I wipe the sweat from my brow, and slow my breathing to a steady pace. I pat my hair down trying not to look like a sweaty mess. He looks up from the pan of bacon and his jade green eyesmelt into me. He looks tired, I wonder if he was up all night like I was.

“Good morning,” I finally managed to say.

“Morning,” he stiffens.

I walk over to the kitchen island and grab a glass from the cupboard, I try not to get in his way but he turns and bumps into me. We’re like two awkward teenagers, all shy and timid around each other. I hate it.

“Sorry,” we both say in unison.

He grips my upper arm softly, and my skin begins to burn. I wish things turned out differently last night. The energy between us is palpable, and I can’t seem to think logically around him.

He looks down at his hand resting on me and quickly lets go. He returns to checking on the bacon and eggs that are cooking on the stove.

“How was your run?” He’s trying to make idle small talk, and it makes me cringe because things were never this awkward even when things were ‘professional’.

“Yeah okay, how did you sleep?”

“Fine,” his reply is short and sweet.

I struggle to find the right words to say to him, what is there to say? Maybe it was for the best that things go further because I’ll eventually be returning to Boston.

“I’m going to take a shower, and then I’ll come down for some yummy breakfast,” I give him a soft smile and leave him to stew on his own thoughts.

* * *

After a cold shower, I make my way downstairs to a busierkitchen. Everyone else has risen from their beds and are silently eating their breakfast at the large dining table.

“Good morning,” I lean down and kiss Dylan on the head.

She winces and grabs her head. “Do you have to be so loud?” She grumbles at me.

I find pleasure in this because Dylan has always played by the rule book. She is too prim and proper for her own good sometimes. So to see her hungover gives me a little bit of sadistic pleasure.

I make myself a plate of food that Rabbie had prepared earlier and pour myself a black coffee from the french press. The only seat free is across from Rabbie, I take a seat at the table. He doesn’t look up from his plate as I sit down. I wish he would look at me. I feel last night has messed everything up. Everyone is in zombieland from having too much to drink last night to notice anything weird between us.

“This looks delicious, thanks Rabbie,” I say softly.

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