Page 59 of The Rescue

I wake with a pounding headache, did last night really happen?Her straddling me, kissing me hard, her grinding against my painful erection, the rush. Me pushing her away. Fuck. Her words repeat in a loop in my head.“Stop letting what happened in the past dictate your life.”I hardly got any sleep last night, I should’ve gone after her and apologised for being a dick but the past froze me in fear. The disappointed look on her face. Who the fuck pushes a beautiful, caring woman away?Me.That’s who.

I roll over in bed with a groan, palming my eyes, I try to rub the headache away. How am I going to face her? This is a fucking mess. It’s the St. Andrews day party tonight and I’d rather curl up in a ball and not have to face my problems.

Crystal.

My mum.

It’s too much.

After what feels like a lifetime, I peel myself out of bed and venture out into the flat. It’s still early, and I expect to find Crystal in the living room but she’s not here. I’m partly relieved and disappointed. The cafe is closed for the day because it’s a public holiday in Scotland. I don’t know what to do with myself, usually baking takes my mind off things but I’ve baked all my orders for the public holiday. I finally get dressed and make my way downstairs into the kitchen. I make myself busy for the morning by doing a stock take of my ingredients and cleaning the kitchen from top to bottom. My head is still on Crystal. I expect to see her throughout the morning but I don’t.

I’m scrubbing the oven for what feels like the third time, deep in thought about how much I’ve fucked up when Cam and Hamish come bursting through the backdoor of the cafe. Both of the MacTavish brothers are decked out in their clan’s tartan and traditional kilts. Everyone in Crossmackie usually wears their tartans for our patron saint’s day.

“There you are,” Cam says.

“Where else would I be?” I say sarcastically.

“Smart arse,” Cam laughs.

I’m not really in the mood to be around anyone but I know the boys will never let me skip out on St. Andrews day, we always spend it together.

“Where are the girls?” I try to act as if nothing is wrong.

“T–they’re getting ready together at Thistle Down,” Hamish stutters.

I should’ve known Crystal would’ve gone to Thistle Down Farm. I want to know how she is, but I don’t want to risk the boys asking me a million questions.

“Come on, the party starts soon.” Cam tells me.

“Okay, let me shower first. I have a bottle of whisky in the flat. You can have a dram whilst you wait for me.”

* * *

After I’m showered and dressed in my kilt, we make our way down the main street towards the parish hall. I don’t usually like to wear my tartan because I feel like I don’t truly belong to my clan. But we always wear our kilts on St. Andrew’s day.

I don’t feel like drinking tonight but I know the boys will be forcing drinks on me. There’s a few people on the main street celebrating, the vibe is always merry on St. Andrew’s day. The sun has set, and the street is lit up with fairy lights. It’s beginning to feel like autumn is on its way out and winter is fast approaching.

My nerves are running wild as we approach the parish hall. I hear Scottish folk music coming from inside and the sound calms me a little. Crystal is still on my mind. I don’t know what I’m going to say to her when I finally see her.

We enter the hall to find it packed with the whole town. The hall is decorated with Scottish flags, and lots of fairy lights. It’s dark in here, the stage is softly lit as the folk band plays. Bagpipes, fiddles, guitars and drums fill the air with merry music. People are dancing and drinking away. Singing and laughter echo around the hall, I see a lot of happy faces floating around. Mac has a small bar set up in one of the corners and the parish committee have a small food stall next to his serving traditional Scottish food. I made them a batch of scotch eggs, pie and sausage rolls for tonight.

I scan the hall to see if I can see a certain redhead but I can’t see her anywhere.

“Come on, let’s get a drink,” Cam slaps me on the back.

“Aye.” I follow him through the crowd.

We make our way to the little bar that Mac has set up and order a round of drinks. I barely sip mine. I want to keep a clear head for when I eventually see Crystal, even though I still have no idea what I’m going to say to her. The look on her face last night is seared into my brain. I’m a fucking idiot, who the fuck pushes away someone like her? She’s right, I am scared.

I take a sip of my beer as I scan the room.

“There’s my braw laddie in his kilt,” My nan comes rushing over to me.

I’m surprised to see her, she never comes to these gatherings anymore because she always says she’s too old.

“Nan, what are you doing here?”

“Och, you look so handsome in your kilt, my wee laddie. It’s Josephine’s first St. Andrew’s day back in bonnie old Scotland.” She coos over me.

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