Page 37 of Gift from the Wing

“And you stopped her?” I ask.

“Stopped isn’t the right word. I suggested it would be best if I came to find you since she doesn’t know her way around. Tillman and Draken told her they’d stay up with her, distract her, while I came to hunt you down.” The smile that spreads across his smug face is tempting enough to make me forget all that’s plaguing me tonight. I know good and fucking well what the dragon’s and Mr. Patience’s definition of distracting her is.

Yeah, her tight little pussy and the sound of my name screaming from her throat would make this all better.

“She thinks you’re mad at her,” he says seriously, distracting me from those delicious thoughts, and I snap my gaze to him,

“I’m not mad at her. I’m mad at the situation she’s in and at everything else. She’s gonna go mental at any point in time with all this shit going on.”

A small snort escapes him, and he covers his mouth with his hand before clearing his throat. “I think you might be underestimating the resilience of our Primary.”

“I’m not underestimating anything about her. She’s a force of nature, but even hurricanes run out of hot water eventually, Core.”

He doesn’t respond with more than a grunt as he nods and limply lets his arm fall beside him.

We drift into comforting silence, neither of us knowing what to say, like we’ve done so many times in the past. I can’t count on my fingersthe number of times he sat in this room or allowed me in his and neither of us spoke a word. Just sat.

Slowly, I decide to lean myself back until I’m pressed to the mattress beside him. I can remember the last time we were in this position. It was after one of my darkest days. I’d beaten a couple of the fuck boys at the academy to the brink of death for talking shit about Draken, then acted like they were his best friends.

He had it hard enough. Mom had him join the academy with us so we wouldn’t be separated, and having never been to a school, it was an adjustment jumping right into a level three academy. He was so upset with me for hurting his friends and I refused to tell anyone why.

Mom called us all home after the incident and I got a tongue-lashing for nearly killing them boys, and my dads were furious I wouldn’t talk about it. But I told Corentin. We laid on this exact bed, in this exact position, and I told him what they said and why I did what I did.

“No, I’m not okay, Cas,” he finally says, rubbing his hands across his cheeks before sighing. “I’ve tried all day to put on a brave and understanding face for her, but on the inside, I’m freaking the fuck out. Not because of everything Uncle Orien’s done. It all makes sense to me. It was strategic. Between him and Elementra, they laid out the best possible plan for her success. Although they didn’t protect her physically, they tried to emotionally. They helped build up the will that she’d need here. Elementra couldn’t have picked a better man to take care of her through her childhood and adolescence.

“But I can’t help but feel bitter that everyone but us was prepared for it. Fuck, even our mom got to be a part of her life before we did. We were the only ones not prepared to be given a Primary that’s responsible for saving an entire fucking realm. We’re having to learn along with her, and there’s no doubt in my mind now that her memories have unlocked so fast, so forcefully at once, changes are heading our way. I have to prepare for it. I have to be ready. I can’t fail us again.”

His words are a sucker punch to the stomach. He’s always worried so much about us, always putting himself below us. Fuck,he has absolutely no idea how much he’s done for us and how he’s never once in his life failed us.

Me. He’s never failed me.

A shuddering breath leaves me as my own memories come barreling to the surface and his petrified eyes sear themselves on my brain.

“I let Willow watch the day of my kidnapping all the way through until Aunt Tilly got there for me. Together, we saw it all,” I mumble and his head whips toward me, his gaze burning a hole in my cheek.

“Watch. You let her see the memories?” he asks quietly.

“Yeah, every bit of it. Many things surfaced for me that I’d blocked out, things I’m not sure I’m ready to talk about yet, if ever, with anyone other than her, but the thing that stuck out to me the most was you. How close you were to reaching me.”

His eyes instantly shut down as his body flinches. The guilt surfaces like a tidal wave, crashing through him relentlessly, but this will hopefully be the last time it ever does. Fuck, I hope I can make him see.

“I’ve never thanked you for that. I’ve never thanked you for trying to save me.”

“You don’t have to. It was my—”

“It wasn’t your responsibility, Core. I wasn’t your responsibility. I was a fifteen-year-old boy, and you were only sixteen. Yeah, far more mature and responsible than I was, but you were a boy nonetheless,” I say firmly, locking my eyes onto his as his chest heaves heavily.

“I may have not seen every step you took to get to me, but I know you pushed yourself harder, faster than you ever had before in your life. I know without a shadow of a doubt you would’ve traded places with me that day and I know you’re still carrying around an eighteen-year-old guilt that’s not yours to carry. You didn’t fail me that day, Corentin. And you’ve never failed me a day after.

“I need you to let go of that, brother. I wouldn’t be sitting here right now if not for you. You’ve carried me our entire lives and I’m beyond grateful for it. I’d tell you, you don’t have to do that anymore, that I’m okay now, but I don’t think you’ll ever change at this point, so just knowthat you can carry me, us, but you can’t carry this guilt anymore. Let it go for me, please.”

Despite having my hands locked together in a death grip, my fingers tremble as I watch the relief wash over my brother. I don’t think he even notices the weight leaving his body as if it’s been waiting for my permission to do so.

Another piece of me seems to click in place the lighter he gets and the softer his face becomes. I never knew my words affected him until now, and I vow from this moment going forward, I’ll let him know what he means to me. Our Nexus. I’ll tell him he’s the glue that holds it all together, but we’ll be strong for him too.

“Thank you, Caspian,” he whispers with a bashful smirk because his ass doesn’t know what to say. Other than giving a lesson or explaining something I’ve learned, that’s probably the most open with my words I’ve been with anyone other than Willow in years and I’ve got him completely flustered.

But deep down inside, I know it’s not only my words that’ve freed my brother from his guilt today.

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