But then I stormed into his office, and everything changed in a nanosecond.
I’d been trying to keep myself in check, had been relentlessly reminding myself of all he’d done no matter how petty, but in the end, it only proved one thing.
Denial was real, and I was drowning in it.
“So are you finally admitting that you want him?” asked an amused Suki.
I wasn’t even looking at her and I knew there was a smirk sitting her face.
More like painted. Permanently.
“I don’t want him,” I said surely, or at least what I thought was surely. “But I will admit to his looks affecting me more than they should.”
“Better known as, you want him,” Suki snickered, prompting Ramsey to choke back a laugh as she took a sip from her glass.
“I don’t wa—” I started to protest, but Suki was quick to cut me off.
“L, want him or not, you admit he’s attractive, yes?”
Nod.
“You also admit that attraction not only complicates things, but isn’t a one-sided affair, right?”
Another nod. “Feeds off of it any and every chance he gets.”
“And you don’t want to kill him?” she clarified.
“Or rather, she can’t kill him,” Ramsey corrected.
“Right, what she said,” Suki agreed.
Once again, I nodded, stare trained on the tinted wine in my glass.
“I can’t,” I said quietly, swirling the liquid round and around and around. “He dared me to hurt him tonight, literally dared me as I held the blade to his neck… But I hesitated and he turned it on me, trapped me beneath his hard body. It’s like, all he has to do is come within one foot of me and my body locks up, my brain shuts down. He intimidates me in that respect, and I keep telling myself I don’t like it but—”
“For the record, you do want him,” she cut me off, holding a hand up when I attempted to protest again, “but I’m not pushing the topic. We’ll talk about that when you’re ready. My question now is, do you love your job enough to continue fighting him for it? He’s obviously not going to disappear any time soon, so why not just give him what he wants and send him on his way?”
My entire body jerked backwards, eyes bulging in outrage at her suggestion. “Are you insane? There’s no way in hell I’m handing over Miami just because he won’t piss off. If he wants to continue this incessant game of tag, then so be it, I’m not giving him shit other than hell. All I want is for him to go away.”
“But why, L? He’s already making it impossible for you to do your job. Why not just let him have what he wants and focus on Black Widowinstead? Hell, I know you prefer not to, but I could really use your help over at Vybe,too,” she explained. “Ram, what do you think?”
Ramsey sat up straighter and crossed her pale legs, criss cross applesauce style. “I don’t think she should just hand Miami over on a silver platter. It’s hers, rightfully so, but do I think she should give him a cut? Yes.”
My already bulging eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as I stared at my best friends in disbelief. “You’re both off your rockers,” I muttered, scrubbing a hand down my face.
“I’m just saying, L. Clearly, he’s feeling exactly what you’re feeling. You said it yourself, he feeds off it. Says and does things based off that feeling. Sounds to me like fighting it useless, so why not team up with him?”
“Team up with him?” I laughed cynically. “Who do you think we are? Bonnie and Clyde?”
“Bonnie and Clyde, Harley and Joker, Thanos and Lady Death,” she clarified, waving a hand. “I’m just saying, he’s into you, and whether you agree or not, you’re into him. Why not take advantage of that?”
They’ve lost their bloody minds.
“No. Just no,” I asserted.
“Then you’re going to have to work him out of your system and get him out of here before things escalate more than they already have,” Suki piped up again.
“How am I supposed to do that? It’s hard enough as it is.”