Page 48 of Raiden

I slip it on, the soft cotton blanketing my curves. It’s huge on me and they’re so tight on Raiden. It makes me even more keenly aware of the size difference between us. I’ve never felt tiny the way I do next to him.

Raiden crosses his arms, standing at the foot of the bed. “To be clear, I didn’t know I wanted any of this until right now.”

I bite down on my lip, plying it and working it because it’s distracting. My mind and heart race in time with each other.

“Some of my club brothers have old ladies. Some of them have kids. I’ve seen how Gray and Lark bring each other such joy. Never saw my sister as a fierce woman, seeing as she’s tiny and she’s so much younger than me, but here, she’s a lioness. She’s fierce. Fiercely in love with my best friend. Not every man here loves his old lady and looks at her like Gray looks at Lark, but their lives are better for it. I never thought that was my path.” He paces across the room, unable to stand still.

“Let me guess. I’m going to get heat for this. You’re going to figure this out and then you’re going to blame me for enchanting you.”

“No.” He whirls, as wild and fierce as a bear. “I can take responsibility for my own feelings and actions. I’m sorry that I made you feel that way. I was being an asshole.” He stops pacing and comes to kneel at the foot of the bed. I’m so alarmed that I push back a few inches, until my back bumps the headboard. “I don’t know what to do with any of this.” He looks like he’s drowning, waiting for me to extend a hand.

“I’m as lost as you are, Raiden.”

“Okay.” His hands curl into the sheets. “I hear that.” He motions at the room after drawing in a deep breath. “You want to move in here, it’s open to you. You want to stay where you are, that works too. You want to leave one day, you’re free to do that too. You can pick your own path. That’s the only thing that seems right in this.”

“Even if you want me to stay?” It’s unthinkable that I’d ever hear this from him. I never would have expected that the man who saw me as the enemy and hated me because he hates my father so much, would offer his imperfectly beautiful heart to me.

I think that’s what he’s doing.

No, fuck, I know that’s what it is.

Soon. Shocking.

He thumps his chest and gets to his feet. “You might as well be etched into my skin. There’s no getting you out now.”

“Like a tattoo?”

“Yeah.”

“Those can be covered up or lasered off.”

He sits down on the edge of the bed, face impassive at my sass. “You’re right. I’m not a poet. Like I said, I’m good with numbers. That’s about it. You’re the one who’s read the classics and speaks all those languages.”

My heart gets heavy, but somehow still rises to clog my throat. “You’re not like other bikers or even other men. They see something they want, they think they can take it, bikers twice over. They think that they desire a woman, it’s a done deal.”

“We’re not a done deal unless we both want it. I just want more. That’s where I’m at.”

“More,” I whisper, my body going into full on riot with my panicked brain. There’s been too much coming at me, far too fast.

He doesn’t have time to confirm. He’s going to say something, but someone pounds roughly on the door. “Raiden? Widow?”

Gray. Raiden’s going to be called to church.

I’ve had shit happen to me in my life, but I always stood on my own two feet. I never needed a man to hold me up, protect me, or give me meaning. I don’t like the strange, hollow emptiness that I feel tearing up in my chest at the thought of Raiden stepping out of this room.

Fucking trauma.

“Yeah. We’re in here,” Raiden shouts back, voice so changed it’s like it’s not his at all. He’s shut down. Lacking all the gravelly emotion I was just hearing.

“I just got a call from one of the men I hired. They know who was going after Lark and Widow and who lit our warehouses on fire. I’m calling church. Now.”

Heavy footsteps signal his leaving.

“I’m all good,” I huff. “Thanks for asking, brother dearest.” I see Raiden about to make excuses, but I cut him off. “I get it. I do. He’s stressed. His club is being attacked, Lark was just chased down and almost taken, he’s still trying to heal from what our dad did. He’s been through a lot and it’s far from over. Any other man would have broken so much sooner.” Probably.Toughdoesn’t begin to describe some of the bikers I’ve met.

Raiden gives me that chin jerk guys do that’s not a nod, but conveys so much emotion. He throws on a pair of jeans and tugs on socks and boots. He stops at the door and turns to look at me over his shoulder.

“Are you going to be okay? I’ll ask Seer or—”

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