“I’m saying it’s been a hot minute. I don’t want you to walk out that door and I don’t want you to call me a traitor when I’ve done nothing to deserve it, but promising my whole future? I can’t do that.”
“Good.”
“Good?” I reel back, but bump directly into his hard cock. I lost myself for a second. We’re having this out right now while I’m poised over his massive erection.
“I can’t promise my whole future either. Just tomorrow, maybe. I’m not looking for you to promise it back. You asked me a question and that’s my answer. It wasn’t one I knew I was going to give.”
“So what? We’re just going to cuddle now like a regular couple if I don’t feel like taking this any further right now? Have a heart to heart? Pretend like we have a white picket future waiting for us?”
He snorts, the ghost of a smile skating over his lips at my sass. “No. But if you don’t want to fuck, that’s alright. We’ll just lie here until Gray calls church.”
“You have to find whoever it is doing this. You have to make them pay.”
“Gray will. No one touches anything of his. Lark, Penny, any one of the men in this club or anyone related to it. Old ladies. Kids. Fuck with them and you’re fucking with all of us.”
“But no one’s fucked with you in a long time.”
“Doesn’t make any of us any less deadly.”
My mind shadows back to that horrible moment when Gunner strolled over to that man crumpled on the ground. When he pulled out that wicked blade and slashed his throat.
“You’re living with monsters here,” I breathe, my lungs spasming in my chest.
Raiden nods. “Not so Sunday school as you once thought.”
“He liked it. Goddamn stupid is what it was. A waste of someone you could have extracted information from.”
“I agree. It will be addressed in church.”
“He liked it. I saw his expression. It was gleeful. There’s no other word. He—”
Raiden’s thumb grinds down on my bottom lip, silencing me. “I know. We all have that darkness in us, but there’s good too.”
“Not in him.”
“He’s still a person. Still a human being. He keeps whatever that shit is going on in his head in check. Most of the time. That man was an enemy. He tried to kill you and Lark. It was Gunner’s job to protect you.”
“Don’t excuse it.”
“I’m not and it won’t be. I’m just saying, you don’t have to be afraid of him. My guess I that he was born that way… as a- I don’t know. Some kind of path. That doesn’t mean he’s less worthy of being a club brother. We all have our own shit. He’d never hurt anyone here, I trust him with my life. In some situations, his lack of emotion makes him a tremendous asset.”
I press my palms flat onto Raiden’s chest, over all that dark ink, until the heat of him bleeds up into me, warming the sudden chill that just swept into the room.
“That’s not a romantic conversation,” I cede.
“I’m not a romantic man.”
“Conventional romance is overrated.”
Raiden flips me over onto my side and turns so that we’re face to face. “I’m going to do everything I can to keep you safe. We all are. Gray has PIs and we’re going to figure out what’s going on. No matter who’s behind it, we’re seeing this through as a club, and that means you too. You know how I feel, probably better than I do. The short of it is that I want you here and not because that stupid peace agreement says you have to be. You understand?”
He rolls the condom off and holds it in his hand.
“I’m sorry that we’re—”
“Don’t ever apologize for that. We need to talk more than we need to do anything else right now. I want you calling the shots.”
He gets up, goes to the bathroom to toss the condom out, and when he comes back he pulls out some fresh clothes from the dresser. He throws on a t-shirt and a pair of boxers and tosses me a second tee when I sit up.